Men’s Intro Questions

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Not really because it feels like a merry go round I've been on for a long time and I know the steps and have done the work several times. But I must humble myself to do it again.

I get more willpower and distance from this disease

I'll be apathetic and do it without changing.

It is a repeatable pattern

I struggle here because I don't have a healthy alternative and I do not have intimacy with my wife. I've not yet found a long-term alternative.

Not sure. I'm here I suppose. That is different. I've done 12 steps and Life Star and personal therapy and religious therapy. I also have challenging relationships.

whatever it takes.

Yes, because I believe it will give my the confidence that I am acting in faith.

I hope I will experience a change of heart and become eager to work recovery and live in recovery

That using the computer for SAL 12 Step might become a trigger to return to old habits

I believe it will work for me, because until now I don't really know if I have every really been 'working' the steps, yet this is what my church leader counsels me to do. I will be doing something productive, whereas before I have been unsure of what I was doing and it was ineffective.

I can only hope so. I feel ready many times, but then I fail out of complacency and false starts. I don't keep working or get discouraged from relapse.

I feel like I will be doing something concrete, formal, and accepted by others in recovery. I feel like for the first time I will actually be 'working' the steps

Doubt, fear, complacency, and lack of accountability are things I am willing to leave behind.

yes i am i want the temtations out of my head completely. i want to be there for my wife and family

to be a better husband and father

failure

not sure yet just getting started but want the best life on earth i can get

yes. its been going on way to long. i know the lord is with me every day and he is the one that can fix me

i want to be a great husband to my wife and a great father. i want to be a better example of gods work

my messed up mind. every day is a new day and dont want bad thought

I am looking forward to living in recovery, and seeing my wife do the same.
I am anxious about anything I haven't done before, so that applies to the steps I have not done as well.

I hope that I will develop skills and habits in place to deal with pain and stress in healthy ways, prevent relapse, and regain my wife's trust as I do so.

* fear of rejection by wife for something I do unintentionally
* fear that my marriage won’t be fully repaired
* fear that reputation will be harmed if details get out
* fear that I’m not doing enough

It's been over 4 1/2 months so far of working the steps and I've gotten some confidence that it helps me.

Yes, because now the pain is so great, far more than any other time before, that it is causing me trauma.

I will do the steps and participate in meetings, and use a therapist. I was not willing to do any of those until February of this year.

My acting out behaviors as I learn new ways to medicate pain and stress.
My defects as I continue to learn to apply the steps and surrender them to God.

Yes. I have been going to SAL meeting for sometime now. A few years or so and I had a sponsor momentarily and worked through some of the steps but that fizzled out and I never got a new sponsor. I have pretty good sobriety but I have felt that it might not be long lasting until I work ALL the steps WITH a sponsor.

Maintain sobriety, grow and change as a person

I think I have already seen much benefit from being in the program and using the steps so I think getting more involved isn't going to hurt one bit. If I'm afraid of anything at all it might be a bit of perfectionism or somehow not doing the steps right.

I have been going to SAL meeting for a few years now and have attended other types of therapy for my addiction and I have gained some tools and have applied principles in these tools that help so I have seen real benefit already. But I ultimately believe it is God that keeps me sober and in recovery and that the steps provide the path to keep God there each day.

Yes, and I believe that it is "now" because I really desire it. I really, really never want to go back to that dual life again. Where the addiction demanded my attention and devotion. My addiction wrecked my life and tore down my character. My addiction was the chief reason my first marriage failed and the fed my unhealthy attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.

Sponsorship is the biggest reason for me to work the steps using this curriculum. I intend to keep up other good daily habits such as scriptures and meditation, making and receiving calls, attending meetings, and working the steps with my sponsor which I am so thankful to have now

I am willing to give up anything God asks me to give up. I am willing to do things that I don't want to do because I am afraid or because my pride wants to say I can do it alone. I have set many boundaries around my addiction and I will set more when and where needed. The "new normal" is what I know I need to adopt to have God constantly in my life because as long as I have had the reins I have done a poor job.

Yes I am looking forward to working the steps I need to work the steps every day in order to keep myself surrendered to my savior

But I will keep close to my savior and find the piece that I seek

I’m not afraid of anything happening in fact I hope something does that will help me stay focused

It will work for me because I’ve went through your course before and it truly helped

I found out that I cannot turn my will over to God just once I have to do it every day so I am ready

I won’t stop halfway in between and then start up again I’m going to work at straight through

Number one priority for me is leaving shame and fear behind

Yes. I am looking for a more guided approach. Decided to sign up for this course to help me actually put in the work daily.

I am hopeful that it will create momentum to a new lifestyle. A lifestyle of my heart being alive and helping others to feel alive.

I am afraid I may see similar results to all the other times I worked the steps and just continue in an addictive mindset with despair and relapse.

The last time I followed a program like this, I was able to achieve the most sobriety I’ve ever achieved- 5 months. That success is replicatable by doing the same thing, I believe.

Yes, this is the only way to sanity for me. I don’t want to be stuck anymore. I want continual happiness in my life.

This time I plan on making a more concerted effort on writing through this program to really undress my emotions and be able to better understand myself and therefore help myself address the underlying issues of my addiction.

I am willing to leave behind my “got it figured out” mentality. The only thing I have figured out is that I have very little figured out.

Yes: I want to be stronger. I want to go through a program I can feel accomplished in.
No: Growing pains. overcoming my yuckiness.

I hope I become a 'warrior'. Someone who is completely open with my wife.

I slip/relapse.

Allows me to focus and center my day on recovery.

'help thou my unbelief'. I want to. I need the courage to do so.

Striving to be more open with wife and myself.

i do not know 🙁

I am very much looking forward to the Steps. I've worked the Steps before with a sponsor. So I'm excited for this curriculum to teach me even more and to further grow in recovery.

I hope that I'll continue to develop my relationship with my Higher Power, growing my conscious contact with God. I also hope that I'll grow in humility so that I'll always, daily, work the Steps and reach out for help in this addiction.

I'm afraid that I won't do the work required to grow and change. I'm afraid that I'll waste money paying for this program.

I think I might not take the work seriously and that I will miss a few days. But overall I think I will be able to do work every day.

Yes, I am completely ready. I've worked the Steps and seen their effectiveness in my life. I know that I need to buck this now, and that I need to thrive in recovery daily.

This time I'll work daily and make daily contact with recovery brethren, working with a sponsor to grow in recovery.

I am willing to leave behind my 'comfortableness' and complacency to grow. I am willing to sacrifice sleep each morning to do stepwork.

not really. however I know I can't get on the path of recovery on my own. so in that way I am looking forward to working steps because they will lead me on right path to full recovery. i'm fearful of confronting my inner demons.

inner healing and a healthier and strong relationship with myself and in time healing of my relationships.

I make some progress and stop thinking I'm finished. and stop doing the steps and things necessary to start on the path of recovery.
a relapse
relationships falling apart
I don't have the courage or strength to confront my inner demons

I need routine and habits. for the steps to work for me I need to do them daily. to make that happen i need to block off time in my schedule to work the steps and attend meetings etc

absolutely! I have been struggling with my addiction my entire life. and struggling alone. since sharing it with some people and my spouse recently I no longer have to go alone. i've accepted I can't go or do it alone. or depend of someone else to do the work for me. only with God's help can i do this.

I'm not going alone. I willing to ask for and seek out help and support from loved ones, friends, therapist, and a support community

old habits and beliefs. the old me. the way I have done things for my entire life. my anger, resentment, my fear of rejection. my pride

Yes and no. Yes in the sense that I still have lots of hope that working the steps in a real and thorough way will allow god to bless me with a spiritual experience and real recovery. No in the sense that I’m doubtful about this particular method of working the steps

I hope that I am able to connect with God and that he is able to give me the spiritual awakening he wants to bless me with

It won’t work, either because I don’t do my part sufficiently or because this particular approach doesn’t include all of the crucial things

I do think that a Daily approach to working the steps is the right way to go for me—I’m easily overwhelmed by the idea a large amount of work, but I know from experience that I can handle a little bit of work one day at a time

Yes. I’m completely exasperated by my recent returns to using pornography and even masturbating. I feel like I’m ready to face my fears of what my new life will be like without any pornography or even action towards lust in it.

I have a solid base this time of doing my dailies each day, so I’m very hopeful that adding a systematic bite sized approach to working the steps to that structure will allow me to find success in doing my part.

I am ready to leave behind the safety and security of what I already know, and all of my protections from potentially being given too much hard work to do without enough breaks, and just embrace whatever god has for me.

I am looking forward to working the steps to remain firmly in recovery, and to have an in-person support group.

That I will get closer to God and have His support.

That I won't feel comfortable with the group.

I think it'll work by keeping my problem front and center so it can be ministered to.

I know I can't manage it on my own. I've seen enough horror stories on trying to go it alone, so the sooner I get started the better.

Long term consistency.

Shame, deceit, cold heartedness.

Yes, as I feel it will greatly help recovery

I will give up my addiction

I might not like living without my addiction.

I think working the steps daily, allows me to be focused on my addiction.

I am. I'm tired of the addiction and the havoc it has reigned on my life.

This is my first time trying so I envision success!!!

The lying. That was one of the worst things I had in my life.

I am. I have worked them many times and when I work the steps freedom and peace are the rewards.

I become the person I see in others who have worked the steps and are working them.

I am afraid of two things. First, I'll work the steps see progress and convince myself that I don't need to work them as often or at all. Second, I'll work the steps and get prideful and stop working the steps. They are very similar but both have played out in my addiction brain.

I feel like working the steps will work for a time. But then I will come to believe I don't need to at a certain point.

Tonight I believe I can answer this question with a strong YES! However, this desire in me fades and like the children of Moses who tried to gather manna for several days, I will try and cram in my recovery work. I need daily strength from God. I can do it with his help!

I don't know! the only thing I could think of was to be accountable to my accountability partner everyday. I want it to be different this time so I'm going to check in with someone who will know weather I'm doing this or not.

Time. I am willing to give up time to watch TV, read a book, do things for myself, etc.

I want to build the tools and habits that will lead to long-term recovery. I am sick and tired of being on the addiction treadmill. I believe that this work will be an important element of my recovery process.

That I begin to discover my true self underneath the veneer that I have built over the course of my life. I get to see the glimpses of myself but I don't show that to others. I am hopeful that this process will bring me to the forefront in life.

I am afraid of being discovered by my children and that they will not be able to forgive me for all of my shortcomings. I know that love me but I also know they have an image of me that isn't accurate in that I am the dad who does almost everything well. This will be a shock to each of them.

I want to make this a "daily practice" so that I continue to focus on the things that matter most in life. I have developed habits that have put me off course for large chunks of time. Now I want to focus on doing things that are both productive and helpful to my development as a human being.

I am in a different place than I have ever been before. I am, for the first time, completely committed to putting my addiction behind me. I have come to realize that I cannot do this without God's assistance. I have already experienced some beautiful advances in my recovery when I have surrendered to God and submitted to His will instead of trying to force my will. This have been a difficult theme throughout my life but now I get to do it for all of the right reasons. It is like returning home to my God or Heavenly Father. Or as Nephi says in the BofM, My Christ!

I am approaching my recover on my terms. I have submitting to the process and I am committed to involving God as a partner in this process. Those are significant differences than where I have been in the past.

I am leaving behind my selfish behaviors wherein I justified my actions. I am willing to be fully authentic in showing up in this process. I WANT to do this!

Yes, because I feel like I've talked about 12 step for so long but only ever dabbled in real step work. I never had a solid sponsor and everyone I talked to never really seemed to put it to me straight with step work and actually putting things on the table.

I become more and more the man that I am called to be and become more connected with myself, God and others.

That I could fail and never truly recover

Because I need consistency and parameters to measure myself by or I'm always just adjusting and using damage control in my recovery when I need to react.

Yes, because I see I am powerless and do not want to live a life that is without God. I wish to belong to God and give myself over to him.

My life will actually be one day at a time as I develop a new way of life through the step work that I do, little by little. Before I made daily efforts of acting out, whether they were in my mind or external acting out. I got there by going back to that place again and again until I had made thousands of steps down that path. The same daily inch by inch with the step work can get me out of that through surrendering.

Believing that I already have all the answers. Trying to fix others. Trying to do everything at once. Making excuses and throwing away opportunities that I know I should take.

Very much so. This program is helping to rewire my brain, think and react differently. Trusting and looking to God are things I need too practice doing and these steps will get me to that point, I really believe.

Personal growth. I love that the steps are steps of action and help me to do and practice doing things that will help me be more mindful and reflective in my daily life. Taking it one day at a time and being ok with that. I want to be more confident with myself and my relationship with my higher power. I want to learn how to be more mindful and less shameful about my addiction.

That I will work the steps but nothing will change. That I will have the same character defects and pain management cycles. That it will feel like homework.

It works when you work it. That is my hope. I want to work on taking my recovery one day at a time, and stop looking so far ahead, wishing I had more sobriety.

I hope so. It has been two years since I fully disclosed my addiction to my wife and it has been a roller coaster of denial and discovery. I have been stubborn and resistant to some changes and programs. I'm just beginning to realize that there is more I need to change than just my porn addiction. I have many character defects that I need to further understand and address.

I better realize the work that it will take. I am more open and excited about attending my 12 step group each week.

Old patterns of pain management. Anger, impatience, pride, insecurities, fear. I struggle with laziness as well, that will be hard to overcome but I want to try,

I am looking forward to working the steps because I've been acquainted with them for over 20 years and have made attempts to work them, but I haven't really known how, and even the time I tried working with a sponsor in SAA wasn't successful. I didn't know the right way to work them, especially step 4 which I never managed to complete. I needed a guidance and a framework and that's what this seems to offer.

We always read and hear that the 12 steps work if you work them. I hope with this guidance I will be able to progress through the steps and begin to experience the realization of the Promises in my life.

I worry that it won't make a difference or that I will begin with enthusiasm but then my efforts will gradually peter out as they so often do in many areas of my life.

Having a format to work the steps on a day to day basis is exactly what I need. I am thankful for this specific guidance. I'm hopeful that it will prove to be an effective tool in my recovery from powerlessness and unmanageability.

Is anyone ever really 100% ready to let go of their trusted coping mechanisms? Isn't there a part in all of us that would like to somehow keep a little of it, as an option, just in case, or to figure out a way to have things both ways? Having said that, unmanageability has increased greatly in my life, and as a result pain has increased greatly as well. For decades I thought I managed to keep my life fairly manageable, but now things are finally coming to a head. If I don't really begin to truly stay clean, then I'm likely to lose my 25 year second marriage, incur disastrous financial results, lose the house in the midst of an insane housing market, and more. Consequences won't get me clean or keep my clean but they can motivate me to change.

For one, having a format to work a daily program.
For another, having a group of men with real sobriety, rather than the lackluster local ARP meeting with me and the moderator and maybe one other guy, and nobody with real recovery, and nobody to offer sponsorship.
Third, adding in therapy.

It's difficult to contemplate, but I will have to leave behind the wonderful feelings that I experience when viewing images of beautiful women. My marriage is a fairly sexless one, around monthly, and even then with no enthusiasm on my spouse's part. She is hostile towards sexuality and likely to remain so. If I have to lay my sexual feelings and hopes for sexual fulfilment on the altar to get clean and stay clean, then so be it. I will no longer be able to take care of those needs and feelings myself.

I am because I’m tired of living in misery. But at the same time I am afraid to give up my addiction. I am afraid of the feelings that go along with sobriety.

I hope that I stop acting out. I hope that I can reclaim my life.

That I don’t ever get better and I continue to dig myself deeper into isolation and fear.

I feel like at the point of life I’m in right now I can only handle small daily bite sized chunks. Otherwise I will get overwhelmed and probably give up.

I be am at this moment. I am out of control and my life is 100% unmanageable. I’m on the verge of losing my marriage and I can’t focus on work. I can’t connect with my kids and life just sucks right now.

I need guidance in how to work the steps. I need structure. I am really hoping this gives me the insight and help I need to get through the steps.

Whatever God reveals for me to leave behind.

Yes! I want to get better, not just get sober.

Heal relationships and live happy, joyous, and free.

I might get stuck or overwhelmed.

daily honesty and focus on healing behaviors

Absolutely! Why not now?

I'm not alone.

unfiltered access to the Internet, youtube, browser on phone, social media, triggering media, anger and resentment

I am looking forward to working the steps because it is part of my path to healing from the trauma i have experienced from childhood. I am hoping to experience a spiritual awakening to the step work to have this be of life long benefit.

I seek to gain a better understanding of the steps so I can better apply the steps in my daily life. I want to transform my life and become a changed person. I seek to be a better husband and father. I seek to mend the trauma I have inflicted on others.

I fear I will do the work but not feel the change in my life. I have studied the steps for the last two a a half years. I feel my understanding has been superficial and familiar at a very high level. I also fear failure

Working the steps day to day sets the tone for my day and positions me for a day of commitment and sobriety. Recovery and healing are a priority for me and I am committed to make the time to do daily step work.

I am ready to let go of my addiction. In all honesty I have temptation to revert back to my addiction but I have fought these back for the last five plus months. My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. I plead in daily prayer for help and support through faith in Jesus Christ. Some days are better than others but I am determined to persevere.

It has taken so much effort and hard work to achieve the sobriety that I now have. I want to nurture it and strengthen it so I do not give it up. I am done collecting Hope Chips and now only want to earn milestone chips.

I am firmly convinced that I will leave behind everything to achieve sobriety and try to regain the trust of my wife.

I am excited to look at the steps and to make progress. I am a little nervous because I have tried other programs with no success.

I hope that I can become an honest and authentic person. I hope that I will be able to heal and get free from the cloudiness of addictions.

I will waste a month of time and not make the changes necessary leading to me failing and not improving.

It is easy for me to justify not working on things because I get busy. I do not have a great schedule or routine but work early hours and do not sleep well at night.

I feel like I say I am. I always say I want to change but I have never changed. It is hard because I am willing but I do not know if it will work.

I will be authentic and honest. I will put in the work and

I am willing to leave addictions in the dust. I am willing to leave pride. I am willing to leave saving face. I am willing to leave people pleasing behind.

Yes. I know that working the steps is a spiritual process that helps me meet my goals.

I have connection with God, Christi, myself, and others

I do have concerns that I won't work the steps as well being on line.

I've worked the steps daily for years. They work for me.

That is a daily process. I've demonstrated through faithfully working the steps that I will do the work.

Maybe more writing a reflections through this process.

Fear and the natural man.

Yes I am looking forward to working the steps. I have been working on and fighting my addiction for many years, and am glad that there have been developments in the ways in which we do it.

I hope for a gradual increase in my sobriety lengths as I gain understanding of my self and my understanding of relying on the Savior.

That nothing might change.

I have trouble developing strong habits. I was not even able to do morning study for the entire month of December. I am subject to changing schedules and a lack of desire to do 'work' first thing in the morning, but I also know that if I dont do this first thing that it will get lost and overlooked in my day.

I certainly hope so. I feel that I am. I have always been trying to do recover, but haven't always known how. I have been through various therapy groups, sessions etc as well as the LDS ARP groups, however I felt that they all were insufficient and not significantly helpful. I have found more help and support working with Craig than I ever have before. Previously I always felt it was a battle I fought on my own. Kellie wanted to help, but really was just being hurt by her deep involvement in my issues and my relapses. I have seen my marriage deteriorate in the last several years, and I want so badly to reverse this damage and have the love I once had from my wife.

I have a more constructed, more organized effort. I have a better support system that does not rely on putting all my burden and pain on Kellie.

I hope that I am willing to leave behind the filth that invades my life. I want to leave behind the duality that my mind and personality seems to portray. I want to put my 'addict mind' in a box to rot. I dont want it to trouble me and sneak up on me any longer. I want my thoughts and my desires to be my own, not his.

Yes. I’m ready to make a lasting change to free myself from addiction.

I hope that I can move my energy to productivity and have the best relationship with God and my wife possible.

I’m not afraid - I’m full of faith.

I know it’s a daily commitment and through small daily commitments and steps, lasting change can happen.

Yes! I know only God can take my burden and pain. I know God has the power to do so.

My partnership with God.

I’m willing to leave behind the old me and step into the new person God wants me to be.