Men’s Intro Questions

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I'm looking forward to working the steps because I'm ready to kick this addiction for real. I've come to the hard truth that I'm powerless to overcome this on my own and need help. I feel like being a part of a group and working the 12 steps alongside others in my position will be a powerful source of structure, strength and progress to add to my "recovery capital". I'm ready to make real change which I believe following the steps will help with. I'm ready to put forth the effort and do the work.

I hope that I can be successful in my recovery and learn tools to use and tap into powers beyond my own for strength, both from God and from the support of those in my group, my family and friends. I want to fully repent of what I've done and seek restitution to those I've hurt, especially my wife. I hope to improve/remove my character defects that prevent me from being the man I want to be, a man who deserves my wife and her trust, and the man God wants me to be.

I suppose the worse thing that could happen is relapse, but that's not an option. I'm NOT afraid that things will get too hard because of the support I have around me.

I feel like it will work for me to work on the steps daily because I need the strength on a daily basis that comes from it. It will help me start my days right and keep my recovery and the importance of it on the forefront of my mind. This addiction has had such a strong hold on me for so long that recovery needs to become my new life.

I'm completely ready because I've felt trapped and miserable for so long thinking I could eventually overcome it on my own, but I know I need God's help and the support of others. I've been stuck in a failing cycle that has taken too long for me to realize I can't fully change without help. I want this addiction out of my life for good for the sake of my wife and marriage, and for my personal worthiness and growth in this life.

Now that I've exposed my addiction, I'm ready to put in the work and take advantage of all the help and support I can, whether it's from therapy, the SAL group and the online 12 step course. I'm also adding more things to my recovery capital that will help other areas of my life like reading more books in general, learning something new every week (i.e. how to draw in perspective, music theory, etc.), working out, eating healthier and doing more activities with my wife. I'm planning on being consistent in working on these steps. I now have a sponsor who I'll be checking in with as well, so there'll be actual accountability, something that was lacking before realizing I was powerless.

I'm willing to leave everything behind, everything that contributed to my addictive behaviors. I want to become a new man. I want to leave behind my dishonesty, self loathing, selfishness, lust, pride, etc. I'm willing to remove whatever I need to in my life in order to kick this once and for all. I just want to be a better man for myself, my wife and God.

Yes. I haven’t been diligent on my own, so hoping this will help.

Recovery

Nothing afraid of

Help me to
Be more committed to recovery

Yes. Tired of this addiction

Hopefully online program will help me keep going

Laziness

Yes, I am. They have helped me be very successful with my recovery. I really want that success to continue!

I hope I can continue to grow in my knowledge and my ability and willingness to surrender lust, resentment, fear, pride, anger, outcomes, others feelings and emotions especially when directed at me.

It is going to be a lot of work.

I feel like it is super useful to get into the step work on a daily basis because it causes me to reflect on where I am at and make changes that are beneficial.

Yes, for the most part. I know there are still certain parts of me that are hesitant. I need to keep looking into those areas more.

Having worked through the steps already, I intend to share more on what I am learning and how that is improving my recovery when I share in group.

I am willing to leave behind anything lustful, resentful, fear driven, outcome oriented.

I am looking forward to it because I think I structured program will help keep me on track and provide a framework for doing the steps.

I’ll create a routine around doing daily step work that will be a lifelong habit.

I won’t finish it

Recovery is one day at a time so it has to work

Yes! I’m ready to be done feeding the lizard. I’ve learned that I can starve it out and live a normal life free of lust.

Structured learning and daily reflection.

Willing to leave behind porn collections and website subscriptions. Friends and activities that harbored lustful thoughts and behaviors.

Yes and no. I am looking forward to seeing progress and becoming more free of the pull that sex and lust have on me. I am a little frightened that it may not hall me as much as I might hope.

But I am also scared of the commitment and the possibility that I work the steps fully and it isn’t effective or I end up back where I was before.

I hope to find progressive victory over my obsession with sex and lust. I want to move into a place of healthier sex and more importantly, I want to be a husband who knows and can operate from a place of more pure love. Most importantly, I want a deeper and more connected relationship with God. I want to learn to communicate more effectively and turn my entire will over to Him.

I am afraid that it won’t work, that I will work all the steps and end up in the same place as when I started.

I believe it will work for me because when I have fully committed to things in the past, I have been successful. I also believe that God lead me to 12 step. The other thing I have seen is that it has worked for many before me.

Yes. I have struggled for so long and have been frustrated with it holding me back and feeling bad about myself. It has also influenced my most important relationships outside of myself as well, namely, with my wife and children.

I have a structure in place that I can access at any time. I believe this will help me work the steps more regularly and effectively.

Anything that God tells me to leave behind: my ego, my control, my will, my pride, everything.

To supplement the ongoing 12 Step Work I am doing with my Sponsor. Currently working Step 9.

To enhance and supplement the work I have already done. To see if I missed anything (Step 10)

More unfinished work hence paperwork

Because Good Habits break Old Habits, One Day at a time.

I have done this but want to fully embrace my dedication by putting the sweat equity into my recovery.

Truly the word One Day at a Time is a Lifetime commitment

Doing the work only when I "feel" like it

I am looking forward to working the steps. I have worked them before and have felt healing and progress when I work the steps with real intent. Also I am so tired of feeling bad about myself and feeling like a slave to my addiction.

I hope I can be more disciplined about my life, feel like I am making right choices, stop blaming myself for problems and be a better father and husband.

I am afraid I will lie to myself and tell myself I am doing better than I am, not stay dedicated, lose momentum and fail.

I believe it will work for me. I believe I can change. I believe I am ready to leave lust behind. I know I need a good system and structured work.

I want to be ready. I have felt ready to let go of my addiction so many times before, and have done well for a time, only to fall again, and again, and again.

I know I can't push my luck anymore. I am recently divorced and feel so alone and unloved. I know I can't expect my ex wife to put up with the addiction anymore and know I don't want to get into another relationship while I am still an addict who's not in recovery.

I left behind my phone, having a tv in my room, staying up late, acting like I am not an addict.

Don’t enjoy getting yelled at by my wife

Not really sure what’s supposed to happen

My wife will make me do more after this is all throuh

Might be good if it’s short don’t have a lot of time

I am ready to be done sining

My wife bishop and brother know

Internet access

I am looking forward to working the steps because I believe it will be able to help me maintain long term recovery and sobriety so my relationships can be healed and thrive. I know that my life is unmanageable and the steps can help me as I turn my life over to a higher power.

I hope that I gain insights about my behaviors that lead to acting out and that I can enjoy long term recovery and sobriety.

I am afraid that I may put a lot of effort into my recovery and the steps and that I still may fall short and fail.

I feel like if I do daily step work it will keep me focused on the work that I need to do in order to have the results that I want.

I am ready to let go of my addiction and turn my will over completely to my higher power because I need to to get my life in order and help me with the unmanageability that I have created with my addiction. I want to do this now because I need to. If I don't I will lose myself and everything that I love in my life. Everything that is truly important will be gone if I can not create lasting change.

I will more fully turn my will over to God and recognize my need for him constantly. I will work daily and sincerely in my recovery process.

I am willing to leave behind my phone and my desire to be on it. I am willing to leave behind my desire to feed my lusts whatever they may be. I am willing to leave behind my pride as I recognize the help that I need.

I am looking forward to working the steps because I believe it will be able to help me maintain long term recovery and sobriety so my relationships can be healed and thrive. I know that my life is unmanageable and the steps can help me as I turn my life over to a higher power.

I hope that I gain insights about my behaviors that lead to acting out and that I can enjoy long term recovery and sobriety.

I am afraid that I may put a lot of effort into my recovery and the steps and that I still may fall short and fail.

I feel like if I do daily step work it will keep me focused on the work that I need to do in order to have the results that I want.

I am ready to let go of my addiction and turn my will over completely to my higher power because I need to to get my life in order and help me with the unmanageability that I have created with my addiction. I want to do this now because I need to. If I don't I will lose myself and everything that I love in my life. Everything that is truly important will be gone if I can not create lasting change.

I will more fully turn my will over to God and recognize my need for him constantly. I will work daily and sincerely in my recovery process.

I am willing to leave behind my phone and my desire to be on it. I am willing to leave behind my desire to feed my lusts whatever they may be. I am willing to leave behind my pride as I recognize the help that I need.

Yes and no. I am looking forward too working the steps as I feel they are vital for recovery but I am not looking forward to trying to find time to work the steps.

I hope to find peace and happiness in life as well as continue my recovery process and stay sober.

I am afraid I will get complacent causing me to relapse.

Most days I can find myself very busy and might not have time to work the steps or if I do work them everyday I feel like I might get sick of doing it.

Yes I am. I didn’t know I needed help until my life was unmanageable.

I am not doing it alone. I am working the steps properly and doing it with a fellowship.

I am willing to leave behind old friends, habits, and addictions.

I'm looking forward to creating a better relationship with my higher power, and how to surrender in a more efficient and consistent manner. I also want to be able to learn how to better deal with character defects.

My connection with my higher power becomes stronger & I learn to rely on him in a more consistent basis.

Right now, I'm afraid of the heavy work that will happen when working with my wife to heal my relationship with her. I know it will beneficial, but it will be hard.

It's the idea of developing a consistent habit over time. As the consistent habit develops, I will be forced to deal with the issues I'm trying to run from or cover up.

I am more than ready - sometimes I still struggle turning things over to God. I'm getting better at it.

I will continue to work with my sponsor who will hold me accountable

The addiction

Yes I am, because I have always lacked a methodical way to attain sobriety (in addition to not realizing I was an addict). The steps give a structured way to pursue sobriety and recovery.

I hope that my self discipline grows, my mental health improves, and incidents of temptation are fewer and when they occur more easily defeated.

I am afraid I may miss some days or be too busy at times to stay on top of my steps, and that could lead to me being discouraged. I am nervous about the contacts and sponsorship. I have a hard time talking to others in general, let alone regarding my addiction, so I dread having to do these daily contacts.

I feel like it WILL work, because I like structured approaches to things, and I genuinely look forward to studying and learning all about this addiction and recovery process.

YES!!! Because it's destroying my wife...it has already destroyed her...and I love her and want to turn her life around and give her the man she thought she was marrying. I didn't know it was an addiction, so that changed my perspective on it and I am 100% ready to fight with every ounce of strength.

I have structure and a path to follow, and I will soon have a community around me to help

I am willing to leave entertainment and activities that lead to temptation. I am willing to miss out on things and have less free time due to dedicating my time to my step work.

I am! I've had success working steps 1-3 on my own (i.e. without the online curriculum) but I've found step 4 to be hard for me to get going. After 2+ years of coasting in my step work, I feel more than ever the need to get back onto them and really work. I long for the benefits that only come through working the steps.

I hope for the promised blessings of recovery -- progressive victory over lust and other defects, increased ability to connect with others and with God, more authentic interactions and communication with my wife and children, a greater ability to help others on their path to recovery...

No fears. I'm aware that step work can be painful. But I don't fear it, rather I welcome the blessings that come from doing the hard, deep work. Bring it on.

For me, if things don't get scheduled into my day/week, they tend not to happen. Especially things that I do for myself. So having a daily regimen will help ensure that I'm doing the work consistently, and I'm hoping it will help me build new habits around doing step work daily.

YES. Sobriety alone isn't enough, and I still have so much work to do to truly feel the power of recovery in my life. The longer I wait, the more time I lose to heal damage done through my addiction. Also, my kids are growing up so fast, I want them to experience their dad in solid, lasting recovery while they're young and living at home.

This time I'm using the online curriculum as a tool and motivator, and I've asked some guys in my group to help hold me accountable. I'm also starting therapy with my wife, which is another component that I've avoided for some time. I feel like these changes will really help me stay on track this time around.

I'm willing to sacrifice personal "free" time and dedicate it to daily recovery work. I'm also working on scaling way back on my personal phone use, and spending more quality time with my family members.

Since learning about the steps - I truly am anxious and excited to work the steps. I see how they can help lead to lasting recovery and repentance. Becoming someone new!

I hope to become a new creature as I find new ways to think and address the real core issues in my life (the engine not just the check engine light). I hope to find recovery and peace!

Now that I've disclosed to my wife - frankly I'm afraid that she will leave me. However, I know that it's no longer an option to go back and the only path is forward.

By small and simple things great things are brought to pass. Small changes made over a long period of time compound into great changes.

Yes!!! I am powerless and only the God of my understanding can restore me to sanity! The time is now. I'm committed to finding recovery through God.

Resources! I was shown SAL, the literature, and I have a qualified therapist. I can no longer live the old way. Forward is the only path of life.

I'm willing to work these steps with a sponsor - asking for help is something new to me.

Yes.
I’m at the final straw for myself and my family.

I’ve never worked the steps officially and daily. And having a sponsor for accountability is huge

Secrecy, shame, guilt, every form of dishonesty, isolation, sorrow, being numb emotionally, mental anguish, not being in control, hiding from God, lack of desire

Yes, I have been wanting to redo my steps for a while now and I've felt that I've not been very purposeful with what I study lately.

The steps will give me a foundation to build on again and will help me build my relationship with myself, others and God again.

I will not be good enough and i will be afraid that I am actually not doing as good as I think I am.

It has worked before and continues to work now. I want to give myself the actual structure of working the steps again.

Yes! I want to continue to work on my character defects and I want to be better at turning them over to God, which also includes my lust.

I want to have more of a focus on my defects of character and how I can apply these steps to help me in daily living.

Anything!

Yes and no, I am looking forward to overcome my addiction and I have already made progress in not acting out, but I tend to do thing on my own and just fight through issues so I’m not looking forward to letting other people know about my problems.

I hope that I am not tempted to act out near as much and that life just becomes easier.

That I will fail, that’s I won’t recover and fall into a worse place than where I was.

It will force me to make the habit of doing something about my addiction, not just read or journal when it’s convenient.

Yes, I’m tired of hiding and running away from the problem. I want to have a stronger relationship with my soon to be wife and put this behind us.

I am actually doing something about it and there are real consequences if I don’t change.

I have already stoped using social media because it is full of triggers and I want to leave behind the guilt and shame that I’ve been carrying around for so long.

Yes I am. I am looking foward to changing my attitude and beliefs and hopefully changing my behaviors and relationships with my family and friends.

I hope to see where I have beliefs that don't serve me and hope to lose the desire to use lust and resentment to feel better about myself. I hope to gain confidence in myself and trust in my Higher Power. I hope I can create a relationship with God and learn to depend on His grace and power to overcome life's challenges instead of going my own way and struggling.

I am afraid that I will not change or that i'm incapable of change. or that my core trauma and core beliefs are too strongly and deeply ingrained that I won't be able to make the changes necessary. I'm afraid I'll lose my family before I can make enough changes.

I think that this has a better shot than anything I've tried in the past because it offers me consistency and structure. I Don't know if it'll work for me but I hope I give it a shot and stay consistent to the program. I also hope I can be fully honest as I work the steps.

I felt like I was ready a few months ago when I was living by myself. Now moving back in with my family I realize how dependent I was on the addiction to handle the stresses and emotional triggers of living with a partner and kids. I feel the pull to the addiction coming back and that makes me worried because I can feel it strongly lately. I fear that I don't feel the consequences of turning back to my addiction strongly right now, so the lure of lust seems confusing. I pray that as I work the steps and surrender to friends and God as I understand Him I can regain the feeling of total willingness to surrender my addiction to my Higher Power.

Surrender and having my center on Jesus Christ. I must call someone and text someone every time I feel a Lust trigger. Even when I don't want to. especially when I don't want to. I must choose God first daily. I must work the steps daily. attend meetings weekly.

my old attitudes and beliefs. feeling that "I can handle it". self-deception. dependence on anyone or anything other than my Higher Power. casual worship. casual membership. isolation.

I'm not sure about "looking forward" to it. I understand that they'll be helpful and I realize that it's going to be an important part of my overall recovery, but I hate the idea of multiple paths at the same time. Seeing a Therapist with work assigned there. Seeing my pastor with work assigned there. It feels a bit overwhelming with everything else, but I know that it's an important part so I'm committed to doing it.

I'm hoping that I will have a heart change. I'd like to figure out how I can overcome my addiction to lust and work on myself so I can improve and be a better follower of Christ and a better person. If I can focus on myself as I work the steps, I'm prayerful that everything else will fall in to place.

I'm afraid that I'll lose everything (My wife, my kids, my home, my security). In the end will it all have been worth it if I end up in a place where I have nothing? I guess I'll have my integrity at the end, which is important.

I think that if I can commit to working on ME a little every day, over time it will compound and I can look back at who I once was and how far I've come. Small increments are a smart way to approach this.

I'm ready to have Jesus take over my life. I've been resisting and clinging on to worldly things for a long time, but it's time. Now is the time because I am completely broken in the trust in my relationship, I fear losing the trust of my kids, and the who I have actually been, is not the man that I want to be. it's time to align those things.

I have a lot of support on my journey now. When I've tried programs in the past or tried changing on my own, it never lasted because there wasn't the accountability and support system in place. Now, I have my family on board, my friends on board, a licensed therapist, accountability partners, my SAL sponsor, my church leadership, etc.

I'm willing to give up all of the sexual sins of my past. The constant objectification of women, the viewing of pornography, the disrespect of my wife, the opening of satanic doors into my home, and so on.

I am looking forward to working the steps because it will allow me to not only keep from acting out be help in all aspects of my life. I have found a lot of hope in the SAL meetings.

I hope that as I work the steps I will be able to feel the love of Heavenly Father daily and learn how to do His will and not mine.

At the same time I am afraid to give myself fulling to God and do only the things that are pleasing to Him. This fear is stemmed from not wanting to fail and not letting God down. The ironic thing is that I do not believe God can be let down. He loves me wherever I am at.

I have not been able to work the steps daily on my own accord. I hope that as I work the steps daily they will become a lifestyle versus a chore.

I for sure am ready to give away my addiction, I am working on my willingness to completely give my will over to the care of God. This one is not easy for me, I have worked through steps 1 and 2 with a sponsor but step 3 I know will take some time.

I have some sobriety behind me, 9 months, and this has given me a lot more perspective. I can see there are two versions of me that show up, the addict and then me at my best. We are at odds daily but the more I do what I know will put God at my center the better I feel and the more confident I am in the recovery and restoring to sanity.

I am willing to leave behind my ability to watch media "as a normal person" because I am truly allergic to lust in all it's forms. I do not have the ability to fight this beast on my own.

Yes I Have gotten to the point where my addiction is causing me more pain than pleasure and is affecting my relationships. Especially my ability to connect and relate with my wife.

I hope I can be humbled and change my attitude from selfish to centered on my higher power Jesus Christ. I want to be able to surrender to his will.

I am afraid it work work or I wont be able to fully commit or be fully honest. Im afraid of my pride or fear getting in the way of working the steps honestly

I want to make progress and feel like I have control over my life and my body and my emotions and my sex life. So, yes, I think I am looking forward to working the steps. I am kind of not looking forward to them as well as I don't really want to believe that I'm an addict and I want to have a normal life.

I hope that I can feel normal in my own life and in society.

I am afraid of relapsing and not being able to not want sex anymore. I am afraid of not being able to have sex with my wife.

I feel like it will work for me, simply because it will provide a way for me to focus on what is important to me daily.

I feel ready to turn my will over to my God. I feel like I am trying to do that already but I need a little more concentrated effort in that direction and more focus on God and how He can help me.

It has to be different! It is either this or divorce.

I need to figure out what normal is for me. I am ready for any sacrifice that will make me feel normal. Right now I feel bad for wanting sex with my own wife! Is that normal? Is it normal to want sex with my wife, to want sensual and erotic feelings with her? I want to leave pornography behind and masturbation. I always have. But I don't know if I can to it without sex with my wife.

I am, I am ready to make a change.

Gain clarity of my self and true understanding on who I am and fix my defects.

Staying the same.

A constant reminder of the path I want to walk.

I am, my former life is only holding me back and destroying my life.

Actually work on my self and not rush my process

Everything that doesn't help me reach my potential.

I am nervous that I will not follow through, or that I will be discouraged after or if I mess up and be tempted to walk away from the program.

I hope to find some space to begin healing and growing. Hopefully, I learn more about where I am and how I can navigate the future with this addiction.

I am afraid that after a relapse or two I will get discouraged and want to walk away from the program.

I feel like it could work because I have not intentionally tried a step program to help with my addiction. So intentionality may help me find the freedom that I need to overcome.

Yes, and because I am at a new stage of life, and God has more in store for me. I deserve to heal, to overcome, and to walk in freedom. As do the people around me, deserve a healthier version of me.

This time I am actually taking group therapy along with working with my own therapist to help me overcome and grow as I can and will. I think I am finally at the point where I know I have a problem and need help, real help.

I am willing to leave behind, friendships, social media, and my pride to walk into a new normal.