To have God as my strength and always have His spirit to be with me
Deepening relationships with God, future wife and kids, and others
People discovering I’m a sex-addict
It will help me keep a focus on my weakness and need for God.
If I always have hope: trust in God, and belief/faith in myself and others then I will be successful.
Why now? I want to become worthy of my lovely companion
Rigorous honesty.
Secrecy
In a sense yes, I'm looking forward to it. I am however worried that the outcome I'm hoping for doesn't manifest the way I’m hoping for. As most I'm sure that join this program want. My actions have taken a toll on my family and dramatically hurt my lovely wife. I can't live without her and need to do this to hopefully win. her trust and love back.
I can gain clarity of my illness and get me on a path of recovery and stability.
I fall into my old ways and completely destroy my marriage and life.
Hopefully clarity and focus to shut out the voice in my head telling me to do the wrong thing.
Honestly I don't know. I don't necessarily believe in god but want to believe there is something out there above us all. We shall see.
I actually have the resources I didn't look for along with the knowledge that I have an addiction.
My past behaviors and actions that got me to this point.
I don't think I'm looking forward to doing the work. I think I am motivated to doing something consistently.
My hope is that I will become more God centered and learn more about myself and how I can better share my experience, strength and hope with others.
Probably my biggest fear is that I'm going to either try and rush through it just to get it done and check another box or I'm going to say that I've already done all this so I don't need to do it again.
I feel like it will because it will continue to bring my addiction and character defects into the light so that I can work on them.
Let go of my addiction absolutely. Turning my will over to God is still a work in progress. I have gotten to the point with my addiction that I don't feel like I need to ever return to that or act out again. I'm selfish and lazy though and I know oftentimes my way is a lot easier in the short term than God's so I return to my own will over and over.
Maybe more of an emphasis on doing a thorough job and connection with God vs just rushing through the steps to get them done.
All of my character defects, my selfishness, my expectations of my wife
I wouldn’t say that I am looking forward to it the way that I might look forward to a vacation. I still have mixed feelings about the SA model, having tried it in the past and having experienced mixed results. I know that I need additional resources to change, because what I have been doing hasn’t gotten me the results I want. I hope that this daily recovery work can help me in my recovery, but I know it will demand consistent effort from me, which is something that I struggle with.
I hope that as I work the steps, I increase my ability to accept reality at all costs, and not feel the need to numb out to avoid discomfort. I want to experience extended sobriety, and to resolve the issues underlying my addiction. I hope that I am able to rebuild trust and intimacy with my wife and become the best version of myself for my wife and kids and all those who I have the opportunity to impact and serve.
I am afraid that I wont be able to work the steps consistently and that I wont be able to stay sober for longer than a month or two and that when I do relapse I will just give up on everything.
I think if I can work them daily, will see results. I just worry about my own lack of consistency, which has been a character defect my entire life.
I sure want to. I don’t want it in my life anymore. I dont want Satan’s counterfeit for intimacy and connection, I want the real deal. I want to live in reality and experience what I was sent here to experience, and learn, grow, and become who God intends for me to be. I dont want to waste any more time, or cause any more pain and suffering to myself or to others.
This time, I will be more diligent in making daily contacts, and I will really strive to wake up at a consistent time that gives me time for my daily spiritual practice and allows me to attend in person meetings weekly.
I am willing to leave behind porn, masturbation, social media, promiscuous apps, fantasizing, and all the unhelpful beliefs that I hold about sex. I am willing to abandon any false views of myself in order to see myself for who I really am. I am willing to sacrifice staying up late so that I can wake up early and work my recovery.
Yes. I want to be free from addiction
I come to better understand myself, grow close to God and others as I separate from lust
Not much now. I find something wrong with me that about me that
Help me keep my focus on overcoming lust and keeping my guard up
Yes. I want to be free from this addiction but I do have times when I don’t care so much and want pornography and masturbation
I feel I need to do better with being accountable to others and surrendering any amount of lust
I feel I need to leave behind security of putting up walls and be willing to be more vulnerable
Yes. I want to be whole and connected. I want to get rid of this dark passenger that I don’t like anymore. I’ve had enough.
Prolonged sobriety, spiritual awakening, connection
This is just another attempt and doesn’t manifest into real results
Provide me the guidance I need daily to keep my addiction under control. Make me think about my feelings and emotions so I can practice expressing them.
YES. I’m just sick and tired of relying on my addiction to feel something. I want to be whole and experience life to its fullest. For me and my family.
Actually working the steps daily. Have a therapist and getting a sponsor. Having actual connection instead of wondering about it.
My addiction and my desire to use it to escape. I want to open to my wife and my support group. I want to feel the real connection I don’t get as a child.
I am looking forward to working the steps because I hope that they will help me set a lasting change in my life. However, I am still afraid of parts of them. I'm particularly afraid of the step where I have to make amends to everyone who I have hurt - I think that I have only hurt my wife but I'm worried that I'll find that there are other people who I have hurt and that I will need to address this with them. That's scare because I am so ashamed of what I have done and I don't want anyone to know about it. If I had to talk to my parents, or my wife's parents, I would be mortified and I'm not sure if I can do that, but I'll have to if I want to complete the steps.
I really hope that I can gain more faith in God, especially since I feel that my faith has been weak for a while now. I also hope that I can address the core problems of my addiction and will be able to have a long-term lasting change that will allow me to not live in perpetual fear of myself and my impulses. I really hope that over the course of working these steps that I will also be able to come to grips with myself as a person - I'm struggling with deep self loathing and feel that I am so disappointed in myself and that I've ruined the only good things in my life. I feel that I hate what my life has become and I hope to one day come to peace with who I am and what I have done.
I'm afraid that I'll either be not fully committed, or will not be as truthful as I should be. I'd hate to put in this work and then to just stop doing stepwork because I'm lazy or feel that I have everything under control. I'm also afraid that going through the step work will lead to more trauma for myself and others.
I feel that it will be beneficial because it will be a daily reminder of what I am trying to work for, as well as represent actual effort to continually stay away from pornography and it's consequences. I feel that I have a personality where I binge different fads or hobbies and I feel that actually committing to this and driving it to completion and sustainability will help me grow as a person as well.
I think so. I've had to face the consequences that this has on my spouse, who I love more than anything, and that alone has given me the reasons to stop and avoid hurting her again. I also feel that more and more I'm doing this because of me too. I really feel like this is something that has weighed me down for so long and I just want to feel like I can walk around with the weight of my deception and actions weighing me down. I feel that I'm supported by my wife, that I'm doing more actions than I have ever done, and that I have the motivation to carry this through.
I'm building and surrounding myself with a support network. I'm going to therapy regularly, I'm going to group meetings, I'm doing this step work, I'm talking to my wife about this and my experience, and I feel like I'm actually involving other people for once. Every other time has been me trying to just quit this with no outside support but I feel like I'm actually arming myself with tools that will help me to overcome this in a more substantial way than before.
I'm willing to leave behind my desires, my old way of thinking, my pride, my anger, my hopelessness, old habits, and anything that ties me to this terrible part of myself that I never want to give in to again.
I am. I feel like without corrective measures, I am likely to head down a path that scares me. A path were I am out of control and hurting myself and those around me as I pursue my addiction.
I hope God will intervene. Much like reading scriptures and attending church, I hope working these steps will make my life better. It's hard to point out how specifically, but I know that by doing these things, I find myself more content and able to ignore temptation.
I am afraid that without help I will become a cheater, or I could get somebody pregnant, or contract a disease, or find myself in legal trouble. My addiction could have a ruins impact on my life if not brought under control.
I am putting my faith in these steps much like I do with scripture reading. I just know it works. I can't explain how. It just does. I believe daily step work will have a positive impact on my attitude the same way other spiritual work does.
It's hard to answer that. Part of me wants to say yes because I know that's the expected answer or the one I should give. But honestly, I'm an addict, and I don't want to give up my addiction. I enjoy parts of it and am scared to let go. But I also know I need help becuase my behavior is taking me down a path I don't like.
I've never done structured step work, so just giving this a shot is a new effort on my part.
Again, because I am an addict, I don't want to leave anything behind. I am most willing or eager to leave behind porn. I'd love to remove that from my life. I am less willing to leave behind relationship. I know I may NEED to, but I don't WANT to.
Yes, I know through multiple 12 meetings that the program works, if you are working the steps. I have to work the steps in order to progress and get an upper hand on the addiction, addiction cycle, and the ritualization of the addiction.
I want to see a progressive change in behavior, added strength, and increased proficiency with the tools of recovery. I would like to see action/effort followed by seeing the fruits of my efforts.
If I don't see change or increased coping skills.....does this wane or discourage my progress. If a slip occurs, does this discourage my progress or efforts in working the steps.
I have to be humble and live in humility each day. This disease is not an easy one to control, and I need to make steps everyday to keep it at bay and to have another 24 hrs. of sobriety.
Oh yes please, easy to say, harder to do. I have had moments of surrender, followed by moments of I'm going to take control back. I know when I have surrendered, it's been good while it lasted in surrender mode.
This is the 1st time working the steps, so there is not much to compare it to. All I know is I have lost so much, that I must dive head 1st into the steps in order to advocate success in my life.
Ritualization or scanning.....I have to be able to put the drug of Lust Down and Leave it Alone. I must leave pride by the wayside too. I need help from my God, I cannot do this by myself. I have tried and failed too many times to count.
Yes and no. I am looking forward to the benefits I expect will come from working the program and finding relief from my addictive ways that still plague me. But I have some inhibitions about going through the steps again when I've already done them many times including a recent time within the last year.
I hope I will come to know myself better, find freedom from my obsession, feel safe from the compulsion, and deepen my connection with God. I want to be spiritually fit and at peace rather than being tense, irritable, etc.
I'm slightly afraid that it won't work and that I'll still struggle in my addiction. But I have felt moved toward this decision and my sponsor encouraged me so I am going forward with it.
I'm thinking of it as working out with physical exercise—I've got to put in long-term, consistent effort to see gains. I think so far I've been putting in lots of partial but seemingly aggressive work and patting myself on the back and then becoming angry or having self-pity when I still struggle with addictive compulsions.
Yes. I'm ready. I want to really be free and I think that I'm willing to give up everything to have that freedom. Maybe if I do have reservations I've been holding back those will be manifest to me in working these steps.
More diligent, more directed, and acting in submission and not self-willed design; i.e., I'm not the one making this program or prompts or work, I'm just submitting to it.
I'm willing to leave behind media, video games, social media, music, technology, entertainment, my own intellectual qualms or issues—I'm willing to park these and set them aside. I'm willing to accept that through this program, though it be imperfect, God's intervention may reach me.
I am looking forward to the change that will come from working the steps. I need to have this change because of how chaotic my life has gotten and how my behaviors have only made things worse. I am concerned about the time it might take each day to work the steps, but I will remind myself that I have more time now that I’m not acting out.
I want to have a greater sense of peace in my life. I know that there will still be problems but I want to be closer to God and not feel terrible shame.
I’m most afraid of relapsing or not making changes that will help me in recovery. I’m also afraid, honestly, of the lifelong effort this is going to take.
On the one hand, breaking it up into a daily task will make it more manageable and will hopefully help me develop habits. On the other, I can sometimes procrastinate and this will perhaps lead to a sense of despair.
I am ready. I’m so tired of trying to change on my own. So tired of failure. So tired to secretly loathing myself. I want to live the rest of my life in recovery so that I can have greater happiness in the years left to me.
I am going to work with a sponsor. I am going to keep contact with my ecclesiastical leader.
Everything. I would accept my family’s disdain and lose anything in life just to be able to turn the page and move forward. I’m hoping I don’t need to do that, of course. I’m hoping that changing can open my heart to connecting with my family.
I'm looking forward to working the steps because I'm ready to kick this addiction for real. I've come to the hard truth that I'm powerless to overcome this on my own and need help. I feel like being a part of a group and working the 12 steps alongside others in my position will be a powerful source of structure, strength and progress to add to my "recovery capital". I'm ready to make real change which I believe following the steps will help with. I'm ready to put forth the effort and do the work.
I hope that I can be successful in my recovery and learn tools to use and tap into powers beyond my own for strength, both from God and from the support of those in my group, my family and friends. I want to fully repent of what I've done and seek restitution to those I've hurt, especially my wife. I hope to improve/remove my character defects that prevent me from being the man I want to be, a man who deserves my wife and her trust, and the man God wants me to be.
I suppose the worse thing that could happen is relapse, but that's not an option. I'm NOT afraid that things will get too hard because of the support I have around me.
I feel like it will work for me to work on the steps daily because I need the strength on a daily basis that comes from it. It will help me start my days right and keep my recovery and the importance of it on the forefront of my mind. This addiction has had such a strong hold on me for so long that recovery needs to become my new life.
I'm completely ready because I've felt trapped and miserable for so long thinking I could eventually overcome it on my own, but I know I need God's help and the support of others. I've been stuck in a failing cycle that has taken too long for me to realize I can't fully change without help. I want this addiction out of my life for good for the sake of my wife and marriage, and for my personal worthiness and growth in this life.
Now that I've exposed my addiction, I'm ready to put in the work and take advantage of all the help and support I can, whether it's from therapy, the SAL group and the online 12 step course. I'm also adding more things to my recovery capital that will help other areas of my life like reading more books in general, learning something new every week (i.e. how to draw in perspective, music theory, etc.), working out, eating healthier and doing more activities with my wife. I'm planning on being consistent in working on these steps. I now have a sponsor who I'll be checking in with as well, so there'll be actual accountability, something that was lacking before realizing I was powerless.
I'm willing to leave everything behind, everything that contributed to my addictive behaviors. I want to become a new man. I want to leave behind my dishonesty, self loathing, selfishness, lust, pride, etc. I'm willing to remove whatever I need to in my life in order to kick this once and for all. I just want to be a better man for myself, my wife and God.
Yes. I haven’t been diligent on my own, so hoping this will help.
Recovery
Nothing afraid of
Help me to
Be more committed to recovery
Yes. Tired of this addiction
Hopefully online program will help me keep going
Laziness
Yes, I am. They have helped me be very successful with my recovery. I really want that success to continue!
I hope I can continue to grow in my knowledge and my ability and willingness to surrender lust, resentment, fear, pride, anger, outcomes, others feelings and emotions especially when directed at me.
It is going to be a lot of work.
I feel like it is super useful to get into the step work on a daily basis because it causes me to reflect on where I am at and make changes that are beneficial.
Yes, for the most part. I know there are still certain parts of me that are hesitant. I need to keep looking into those areas more.
Having worked through the steps already, I intend to share more on what I am learning and how that is improving my recovery when I share in group.
I am willing to leave behind anything lustful, resentful, fear driven, outcome oriented.
I am looking forward to it because I think I structured program will help keep me on track and provide a framework for doing the steps.
I’ll create a routine around doing daily step work that will be a lifelong habit.
I won’t finish it
Recovery is one day at a time so it has to work
Yes! I’m ready to be done feeding the lizard. I’ve learned that I can starve it out and live a normal life free of lust.
Structured learning and daily reflection.
Willing to leave behind porn collections and website subscriptions. Friends and activities that harbored lustful thoughts and behaviors.
Yes and no. I am looking forward to seeing progress and becoming more free of the pull that sex and lust have on me. I am a little frightened that it may not hall me as much as I might hope.
But I am also scared of the commitment and the possibility that I work the steps fully and it isn’t effective or I end up back where I was before.
I hope to find progressive victory over my obsession with sex and lust. I want to move into a place of healthier sex and more importantly, I want to be a husband who knows and can operate from a place of more pure love. Most importantly, I want a deeper and more connected relationship with God. I want to learn to communicate more effectively and turn my entire will over to Him.
I am afraid that it won’t work, that I will work all the steps and end up in the same place as when I started.
I believe it will work for me because when I have fully committed to things in the past, I have been successful. I also believe that God lead me to 12 step. The other thing I have seen is that it has worked for many before me.
Yes. I have struggled for so long and have been frustrated with it holding me back and feeling bad about myself. It has also influenced my most important relationships outside of myself as well, namely, with my wife and children.
I have a structure in place that I can access at any time. I believe this will help me work the steps more regularly and effectively.
Anything that God tells me to leave behind: my ego, my control, my will, my pride, everything.
To supplement the ongoing 12 Step Work I am doing with my Sponsor. Currently working Step 9.
To enhance and supplement the work I have already done. To see if I missed anything (Step 10)
More unfinished work hence paperwork
Because Good Habits break Old Habits, One Day at a time.
I have done this but want to fully embrace my dedication by putting the sweat equity into my recovery.
Truly the word One Day at a Time is a Lifetime commitment
Doing the work only when I "feel" like it
I am looking forward to working the steps. I have worked them before and have felt healing and progress when I work the steps with real intent. Also I am so tired of feeling bad about myself and feeling like a slave to my addiction.
I hope I can be more disciplined about my life, feel like I am making right choices, stop blaming myself for problems and be a better father and husband.
I am afraid I will lie to myself and tell myself I am doing better than I am, not stay dedicated, lose momentum and fail.
I believe it will work for me. I believe I can change. I believe I am ready to leave lust behind. I know I need a good system and structured work.
I want to be ready. I have felt ready to let go of my addiction so many times before, and have done well for a time, only to fall again, and again, and again.
I know I can't push my luck anymore. I am recently divorced and feel so alone and unloved. I know I can't expect my ex wife to put up with the addiction anymore and know I don't want to get into another relationship while I am still an addict who's not in recovery.
I left behind my phone, having a tv in my room, staying up late, acting like I am not an addict.
Don’t enjoy getting yelled at by my wife
Not really sure what’s supposed to happen
My wife will make me do more after this is all throuh
Might be good if it’s short don’t have a lot of time
I am ready to be done sining
My wife bishop and brother know
Internet access
I am looking forward to working the steps because I believe it will be able to help me maintain long term recovery and sobriety so my relationships can be healed and thrive. I know that my life is unmanageable and the steps can help me as I turn my life over to a higher power.
I hope that I gain insights about my behaviors that lead to acting out and that I can enjoy long term recovery and sobriety.
I am afraid that I may put a lot of effort into my recovery and the steps and that I still may fall short and fail.
I feel like if I do daily step work it will keep me focused on the work that I need to do in order to have the results that I want.
I am ready to let go of my addiction and turn my will over completely to my higher power because I need to to get my life in order and help me with the unmanageability that I have created with my addiction. I want to do this now because I need to. If I don't I will lose myself and everything that I love in my life. Everything that is truly important will be gone if I can not create lasting change.
I will more fully turn my will over to God and recognize my need for him constantly. I will work daily and sincerely in my recovery process.
I am willing to leave behind my phone and my desire to be on it. I am willing to leave behind my desire to feed my lusts whatever they may be. I am willing to leave behind my pride as I recognize the help that I need.
I am looking forward to working the steps because I believe it will be able to help me maintain long term recovery and sobriety so my relationships can be healed and thrive. I know that my life is unmanageable and the steps can help me as I turn my life over to a higher power.
I hope that I gain insights about my behaviors that lead to acting out and that I can enjoy long term recovery and sobriety.
I am afraid that I may put a lot of effort into my recovery and the steps and that I still may fall short and fail.
I feel like if I do daily step work it will keep me focused on the work that I need to do in order to have the results that I want.
I am ready to let go of my addiction and turn my will over completely to my higher power because I need to to get my life in order and help me with the unmanageability that I have created with my addiction. I want to do this now because I need to. If I don't I will lose myself and everything that I love in my life. Everything that is truly important will be gone if I can not create lasting change.
I will more fully turn my will over to God and recognize my need for him constantly. I will work daily and sincerely in my recovery process.
I am willing to leave behind my phone and my desire to be on it. I am willing to leave behind my desire to feed my lusts whatever they may be. I am willing to leave behind my pride as I recognize the help that I need.
Yes and no. I am looking forward too working the steps as I feel they are vital for recovery but I am not looking forward to trying to find time to work the steps.
I hope to find peace and happiness in life as well as continue my recovery process and stay sober.
I am afraid I will get complacent causing me to relapse.
Most days I can find myself very busy and might not have time to work the steps or if I do work them everyday I feel like I might get sick of doing it.
Yes I am. I didn’t know I needed help until my life was unmanageable.
I am not doing it alone. I am working the steps properly and doing it with a fellowship.
I am willing to leave behind old friends, habits, and addictions.
I'm looking forward to creating a better relationship with my higher power, and how to surrender in a more efficient and consistent manner. I also want to be able to learn how to better deal with character defects.
My connection with my higher power becomes stronger & I learn to rely on him in a more consistent basis.
Right now, I'm afraid of the heavy work that will happen when working with my wife to heal my relationship with her. I know it will beneficial, but it will be hard.
It's the idea of developing a consistent habit over time. As the consistent habit develops, I will be forced to deal with the issues I'm trying to run from or cover up.
I am more than ready - sometimes I still struggle turning things over to God. I'm getting better at it.
I will continue to work with my sponsor who will hold me accountable
The addiction
Yes I am, because I have always lacked a methodical way to attain sobriety (in addition to not realizing I was an addict). The steps give a structured way to pursue sobriety and recovery.
I hope that my self discipline grows, my mental health improves, and incidents of temptation are fewer and when they occur more easily defeated.
I am afraid I may miss some days or be too busy at times to stay on top of my steps, and that could lead to me being discouraged. I am nervous about the contacts and sponsorship. I have a hard time talking to others in general, let alone regarding my addiction, so I dread having to do these daily contacts.
I feel like it WILL work, because I like structured approaches to things, and I genuinely look forward to studying and learning all about this addiction and recovery process.
YES!!! Because it's destroying my wife...it has already destroyed her...and I love her and want to turn her life around and give her the man she thought she was marrying. I didn't know it was an addiction, so that changed my perspective on it and I am 100% ready to fight with every ounce of strength.
I have structure and a path to follow, and I will soon have a community around me to help
I am willing to leave entertainment and activities that lead to temptation. I am willing to miss out on things and have less free time due to dedicating my time to my step work.