I'm looking forward to recovery

Divine intervention lol. Hope is not a strategy, I intend to create new patterns.

The usual pattern of me doing nothing.

I've already proven the steps don't work when I don't work them.

Odaat

inputting these answers to this questionnaire is different for me

I don't do "new normal" that's a very triggering phrase for me. When the ship is sinking, anything and everything that
isn't absolutely vital gets tossed overboard. A little reframing of things or getting outside of my comfort zone should do
me some good.

I'm looking forward to recovery

Divine intervention lol. Hope is not a strategy, I intend to create new patterns.

The usual pattern of me doing nothing.

I've already proven the steps don't work when I don't work them.

Odaat

inputting these answers to this questionnaire is different for me

I don't do "new normal" that's a very triggering phrase for me. When the ship is sinking, anything and everything that isn't absolutely vital gets tossed overboard. A little reframing of things or getting outside of my comfort zone should do me some good.

Yes. I want to finally be rid of my demons, my weaknesses, and my guilt. I want to live a life worthy of my wife and worthy of being a good father to my children.

I learn to be disciplined and not just motivated. That I can be strengthened, not to never be tempted, but to resist temptation. I hope to see notable progress that further encourages me to continue on. I hope to be the man that I know I can be; for my wife, for my children, for my God, and for myself.

I am afraid of relapsing. I am afraid of the discouragement that can come from relapsing. I am afraid of temptations getting bigger. I am afraid of failing.

I have been attending the meetings for just over a month. I look forward to these meetings now and they have been very encouraging. I want to dive in and get all I can from this program.

Yes, it's been far too long. I have children now, a whole family. I should've made better choices before, but it needs to happen now.

Not only will I do this course, attend the meetings, and learn from others in a similar situation; but I will be honest with my wife about my struggles and any relapses. If she is willing, I will lean on her in times of trouble and I pray that she will still be willing to support me.

My sins and my pride. My excuses and my secrecy. My anger and my lack of empathy.

Yes, because this addiction has been the monkey on my back for over 40 years. I see others who have recovered following the steps and I want to accomplish the same. I want to live in sobriety.

That I build the necessary boundaries and adopt the essential tools that work for me in maintaining sobriety.

Relapsing

It will keep focusing on sobriety featured as an important part of my daily routing.

I am. I am tired of being stuck.

I am willing to put in the work

My reliance on the addiction to cope with stress or disappointment.

Yes, I am looking forward to working the step in this daily program. My life is busy and I NEED to not loose my focus on working my recovery everyday.

I hope to be able to heal. I hope to be able to have the ability to look at myself and the discovery the causes of the holes in my life that I filled with pornography, acting out with sex and masturbation. I hope to have the courage to release this addiction that comforted my pain and loneliness and find better ways to cope with the discomfort.

That I fall have a relapse and let my anxieties and depression over welm me and lead me to old behaviors.

For my personality type I the sooner I get into a routine the more comfortable I feel. I have the self discipline.

This addiction became a false God for me. I worship it and sacrificed for it. I loved it more than anything else and what I thought was comfort in the end was more pain and craziness in my life, and it hurt the people that I love the most. It's time that I let this good friend that I have had for most of my life GO. I can't turn to anyone else in my life. I and I alone need to stand and reach for the only one that can walk this journey with me and that is my Heavenly Father.

Medication. Physiatrist and therapists and a marriage counselor. an understanding that this lifelong addiction is a sickness and not a sin. Each day I need to give myself grace that I am imperfect and I need to try. I love myself and I am worth the effort to become that best self I can be.

self soothing with porn and masturbation.
finding a new way to cope with the frustrations I experience everyday. Loving and respecting my wife even though we are different people and bring to our marriage unwanted baggage from our childhoods.

Yes, but nervous

I will finally make changes

I might have to give up things I love.

I typically drop off or lose steam after starting.

Yes.

I have a sponsor

I know I should say whatever it takes, but I feel scared to let go of certain things and I am not sure what I need to let go of and what I don't need to. I am willing to let go of whatever it takes, but I need to figure out what that is.

I know I need the Steps. I have "worked through" them once with sponsor. I see their value and yet I don't think I've gone deep enough. My life is still unmanageable and I've created a situation in my marriage where it feels it's on the brink. I love my wife. Yet, I've still made disastrous choices. I'm still powerless (and have to admit I will always be) as I need God's power and stop relying on my own.

Return to God. Return to my true self. Return to God.

I won't see the results. I won't increase in willingness. I'll still end up alone.

I can only focus one day at a time. I think focus to much and waste so much energy on the future and what might happen or consumed on the "what ifs"

I think he already has "my addiction" in the classic sense. But he doesn't have "my will" completely. I'm still holding on to that.

Go deeper, share more with other, be open, honest, and vulnerable.

My dependence on Michelle. Truthfully, I have to become more independent of the relationship so that we can be interdependent. Kind of a paradox but I think it might hold weight. It's kind of like the airplane analogy my own air mask has to be on in order to be a true value to her or anyone else.

Yes, I want to improve the relationship with my Wife, and continue the process of healing for myself that I let slide.

I hope that I can become more empathetic and able to express my emotions without shame or fear.

I am afraid of judgement from my wife.

I think it will work for me because it has before. I want to rebuild the habit of working the steps and continuing daily to connect with others in the groups and connect with God.

I am. I have been sliding backwards, trying to do things on my own to no avail.

I am doing of my own volition, taking ownership of the process, not doing it “because I have to”.

My old ways. I want to leave the lust behind and focus solely on my wife.

I am looking forward to working the steps because I have seen progress the first time I went through.

I hope to develop a deeper understanding of recovery and living a more meaningful life.

I will burn out and loose motivation.

I am busy and my schedule is hectic. I think that I might gloss over the details and not take the time to let things settle.

I am prepared to turn my unwanted sexual behavior over to my higher power and to lean a new way to live.

I have more faith in the process this time.

I am willing to question my own process and habits. I do not have all the answers.

Yes. Many on the SAL 12-Step call have spoken to - in addition to driving recovery - the larger benefit is to become a better person. It matches what my therapist has said as well.

1. I become a better person
2. My wife's level of safety continues to increase

1. I lose interest
2. I am unmoved

As my new sponsor said, "It puts you in recovery every day"

I believe I am.
Why now? I have been working on myself and my marriage for about a year. I have found resources, made progress, but have done well lately doing my own Step work.

The structure

Unsobriety

Yes, I am looking forward to working the Steps. I have seen how the Steps have impacted others in the meetings I have been in for various S groups. I am looking forward to a more conscientious effort as well as getting out of my comfort zone to find sustained healing through the Steps.

I hope I gain more awareness of how my compulsive sexual behaviors have impacted my wife, kids, family and myself. I am hoping to improve myself through more awareness and the work required through working the Steps. I am hoping to discover a new way of living through the Steps, versus my way of life prior to discovery.

I am afraid that regardless of the work, I return to either remnants of my past behaviors or completely relapse on my compulsive sexual behaviors.

Working the Steps on a day to day basis will help me continuously work on the Steps and build a habit of working the steps daily.

Yes I am ready to let go of my addiction and turn my will over completely to the care of a higher power. Now is better than never. I would prefer not to wait on any potential gifts and tools the Steps may provide me that could potentially help me as I continue the recovery path.

The difference this time is that I will plan to do the work daily to more than daily given my time. Commitment and the dedication to get the work done is important to me as I continue in recovery.

I am willing to leave behind my continuing pride that I can solve my problems by myself and my continuing fears of being vulnerable.

Yes. I have already been working them somewhat passively, and I'm excited to have a more solid structure to keep me on track.

I hope I see a fundamental change within myself, not just that I have a stronger ability to "white knuckle" and not give in to sexual desires, but that I change myself and fix myself to the point that I no longer need the sexual drug to cope with loneliness or whatever else the root cause I'm dealing with is.

It won't work. That I won't find god. That I won't be able to be happy and that the drug is the only chance I'll ever have at filling that hole in my heart. There's a lot of fears. Fears I'll give up. Fears the program is only for some, not all. Fear that I won't be able to overcome what has been arguably the biggest thorn in my side (not porn, but the longing to have connection that I use sexual acting out to overcome).

Honestly, if others who have been seemingly in far deeper than I have claim it works, than I suppose it's worth a shot. I mean after all, got any better ideas? I worry it won't work because I worry there is no god at times. I hope it will work and bring me closer to knowing that there is a god. Really, I'm exploring more than just my brokenness here.

Yes, but I really hope there's a higher power there to begin with that can catch me. I can't force myself to believe or do some magic trick to know, but what I can do is cast myself off the cliff's edge of faith and pray someone is at the bottom to catch me. If there is, SO AMAZING. If there isn't, well, at least I've given it my all and tried.

Structure. I've been a sprinter and a sitter. I sprint, it's great, I make so much progress, I feel such a great difference, then I sit and do nothing, and low and behold, start going backward. I'm hoping structure will help keep me on this day to day.

That's a hard one. Trying to think... I mean on a broader scale, I'm willing to leave behind the drug. I've been sober almost 9 months now, so I know I can give that up... but how long can I give it up for? I fear if I get to the end of this and I don't feel any true healing from the root problem I might not cave in out of weakness, but out of choice for wanting to feel at least some connection, fake or otherwise. Of course logically I know that's wrong, but at the same time I'm not going to pretend that I don't fall victim to wanting something I don't feel I have, and I think that's what drew me to this in the first place.

I am looking forward to doing step work to overcome and truly understand my addiction to porn.

To understand my feeling more and to love myself more

Divorce

i feel like i need to be on a schedule with my life and having step work on a day to day basis will help me to do so.

I am ready to give my addiction to my higher power because I've tried over and over and have failed and my wife and been so supportive and patient but now i think that patience is running very thin. Tired of living my life how i want to do it but instead i desire to do the will of my God.

don't want to lose myself

everything that can and will cause harm to me in my life serving my God

yes, I am looking for to the steps because for the first time in my life I'm wanting to get real help and not rely on what I can do on my own, because I have failed at that, and know that's it's impossible to go on your own. I look forward to the steps, the meetings, everything associated with it.

I hope that I start to fill whole again, that I can get my family back, that I can get my wife back. That I can get rid of the fear of being found out, and suffering the pain and heartbreak associated with that. I hope that I can wake up each day with gratitude and excitement in my life instead of paranoia, guilt, and pain.

That i fall back into my old ways and worse lose everything for good. My family, my happiness, my way of life.

I feel like working on it on a day to day basis will be good for me because it's routine, it's something I look forward too or know that's it's something I need to do to get my life back, an that helps by doing something like the steps everyday.

I am so ready to let go of my addiction and find a higher power. I turned my back/trust in god so long ago, and I feel like that has caused me to lose a part of myself and ultimately got me further into this horrible addiction that I want to end.

For the first time in my life I am going to get real help, by following a program, and seeking professional help. The first time I tried to beat it on my own, and that was an absolute failure and disaster. This time is different because I'm reaching out for help.

I am willing to leave it all behind because whatever the normal was is not what I want. I'm so tired, and so sick of being sad and being in the this awful rut I've put myself into. I want the "new normal" and I will do anything and everything to get it.

Yes! I am committed to a thorough recovery from this and all addictions

I hope to gain insight and to mature every aspect of myself. I am committed to changing and becoming a functional masculine man

I am afraid that I wont have the time to be consistent with my healing journey

I believe that creating a routine and being consistent in self care is exactly what i'm missing.

Oh hell yes!! This addiction and and the choices I have made have cost me everything that is important to me and I am not willing to let it take anything more from me.

I will be different, I will act my way to clear thinking instead of my usual "Think my way to clear acting" ploy

Anything that it takes! I am willing to leave all of my old self behind, all of my old beliefs, and habits. Literally anything that it takes.

I'm mixed. But I'm definitely curious to see if it works.

That I can transform as a person and become a better man.

That I will fail.

Because nothing else has worked.

Yes. Because I need to make changes.

I will actually put in the work this time.

pornography

I am looking forward to working the steps. I have dabbled in the 12 steps in the past but not with my whole heart in it. I have learned a lot about this addiction and its tole not just on me but the one's I love and those around me. My life has been controlled by this addiction my whole life and I am tired. I want to feel some sort of peace and happiness in my life.

I hope that as I work the step I can dig deep within myself and truly work the steps to find my true self and build a relatioship with my Heavenly Father. I know I can't do it without him.

I am afraid that I will see some success and then try to take the wheel myself. As I want to fix things that are broken myself.

I tend to take the path of least resistance. Working the steps daily will keep me engaged and give me daily tasks to think about and work on.

I have been in my addiction pretty much my whole life. I struggle with what turning my will over to the Lord looks / feels like. But I know that "I" have tried many times thinking that I can do this without help. I know the Lord has blessed me throughout my life even though I felt like I didn't deserve it. I am willing to turn my will completely over to the Lord.
There has been a lot of turmoil in my life the last few years and much of it was caused by my actions. I have lost my peace, happiness, sense of being and I don't even know who I am. Not sure I ever did. I must take whatever steps necessary now to heal and learn to live a life true to myself.

I have never really worked the 12 step program. I have learned a lot about my addiction, the 12 step program and myself the las few years. This time I am at a point in my life where I feel more lost than ever before. I don't know what peace feels like or what even makes me happy. I truly don't have anything left to lose and I truly am tired of feeling lost with no end in site.

I am willing to strive to let go of the old habits and beliefs that have held me hostage for so long. The pornography and lust so I can truly feel what real love is for myself.

I am both looking forward to and fearful of the progress I will make in the 12 step process. I have done step work in the past, and it was both very difficult and fulfilling. This is my first stepwork with any kind of Sexual Addiction work. I have been suffering from this addiction since about age 11 or 12.

I hope to gain a better understanding for myself and to develop and re-recognize values and goals to better my future and promote self-love and growth.

I am afraid I will surrender to the process of step work through sexual addiction and face judgement. I am worried I will run into trouble that will produce difficult consequences with my future because of past decisions made in my addictive past. I am afraid to be alone.

I feel working the steps on a daily basis will promote self growth and help to keep me on an upward trajectory throughout my recovery with SA.

Yes. I know I will have days I will fall short and not fully surrender to my Higher Power. In these moments, I know by setting a goal to practice the Steps daily, if only for a few moments will be a great goal. I have lived in this addiction for possibly longer than I realize and may have been pre-disposed to this way of life from an age of a toddler or baby.

I will not try and live a perfectionist mindset. I will strive to better myself if not always for God, than for a better life for myself.

I am willing to leave behind a perfectionist mindset and self-destructive or shameful choices. If I feel I am making choices that promote shame, I will remain curious about it instead of deny feelings of my shame, choosing not to address or be curious to the shame, or ruminate in it.

I want to work the steps because I know their value from AA.

Become a transparent man to my wife and speak only the truth.

No, I'm already causing my wife enough pain, I need to show her progress in as many ways as possible and begin walking with her in her pain.

Yes, they will, I have complete confidence in the steps, they will work as much as I work them.

I started attending church again, which is a big step, we stepped away about 7 years ago and I lost my connection with God after that happened. I am working at regaining my faith.

I'm motivated to become a man my wife can be proud of. I'm motivated to save my marriage. I'm motivated to help my wife in her recovery.

porn and masturbation are already in my rear view mirror some 11 months ago. I still have flirting, which I recognized last night at a social event, and objecting to conquer. I am very willing to leave both of those behind.

Yes. Provides an opportunity to make improvement/change/be the person others can rely on.

I will notice a meaningful change

I will get frustrated, fail, I will be seen as a failure

Daily reminders will more likely keep me in check and provide me with meaningful insight into my recovery

Today yes. But my willingness changes and sometimes I want to reach back into the comfortable known of addiction

Checking in daily with spouse. Using the online work. Doing something daily rather than sporatically.

Opinions others have of me. Taking bites of lust. Hiding failures along the way.

I have read about, talked about, and thought about working the Steps, but I have not actually done them. I want last sobriety and a happy and productive recovery and I know that I need to not only commit to work the Steps, but actually work the steps - do the work, follow the plans, and harvest the results.

Daily support and education to help me stay on track and work my recovery along with helping others on their road to recovery.

I am afraid that I might have more relapses and be a disappointment and a source of grief for Sheryl. I know what damage I have caused up to this point and how I have destroyed her trust in me and I do not want that to happen - not only for her, but for myself. I also want to be able to worthily partake in all of the covenant blessings that have promised to me and my posterity through righteous living.

I know from experience that "it works when I work it." When I get lazy (my excuse used to be "when I get busy"), my mind and habits wander to places where they shouldn't go - directly pursuing actions of lust, or looking for a lust hit - leading to acting out. I do not want that and daily study and commitment is the only way to stay sober and enjoy recovery.

Yes - I want a happy and trusting marriage. I believe in the power of God and his Son, Jesus Christ, to take away my sin and my unbelief - I need to turn my will over to Him, because only through His grace can I be freed from the bonds that have entangled me in the past.

I have experienced the joy of a long period of sobriety, but I got lazy and careless. I can't let that happen again.

I need to be very clear about my boundaries and bottom lines, make those clear to Sheryl. And then commit to God, Sheryl, my sponsor and others to live those one day at a time. At some point, and maybe this time around, I will need to give up my liberty with my phone.

Yes, i want to quit this addiction. No, I can foresee a long and painful journey of diving into this addiction heavily and seeing my failings and flaws as a human

I will have a greater understanding of myself and how to combat my character flaws. Ultimately, i hope for stepping stones to guide me to long term sobriety

I am afraid I will see there is more damage done that I can see on the service. I am afraid this will affect me for better or for worse.

I don't have the time for that. Starting small for me would be working the steps once if not twice a week.

I am 75% there. I am turning my will over to him in word and thought but not in action and deed. I am still not allowing myself to trust this on anyone else including God and in turn still relying on will power.

I will diligently read the literature of SAL. I will work with my sponsor monthly if not weekly.

I am willing to leave behind who i thought "I" was. I am ready to leave behind my chains and shackles of the world so that I can soar in it.

I've worked the steps through the Step into Action book twice. I'm looking forward to working the steps through this online curriculum to see if I can gain additional ins

I hope that I get closer to God and become a better person

My only fear is that I do this half-way (half-assed) and get nothing out of it.

Working this on a day to day basis helps reinforce good daily habits which are crucial for growth. A common fault of mine is to go all out for a few days and then stop any improvement effort. This is terribly ineffective, as it feeds my delusion of I'm doing fantastic after a few days of intense effort and then my despair when I go weeks without any effort. Daily consistent effort I've found working the steps previously through the Step Into Action book is the best self improvement progress I've ever made.

Yes. But I need a constant daily reminder of this. Why now - because I do not want to live the half-life I lived previously moved with the current of life with my head down.

Since this is my 3rd time through the steps, I'm confident that I will make it through. However, my hope is that I gain new insight, new motivation, and better connection to God and reduce defects further.

Leave behind my defects.