Men’s Intro Questions

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I'm looking forward to the results of working the steps, though the process will undoubtedly be hard. I'm definitely nervous. But I know I need this and want this, and I look forward to addressing the the underlying needs and issues I have that my addiction feeds on or responds to.

I hope I'm able to have more awareness and understanding, more nuance in seeing addiction behaviors and triggers. I want to be ever-watchful and open about and conscious of my addiction, but not let it define me.

I won't have the strength to stick with the program, fully commit, find a sponsor, etc. Also afraid that I won't make the progress I want to

I think it will if I set reasonable goals and expectations. I think starting the day with this puts me in a healthy place that will better keep me from those self-deceptive behaviors and pleasure-seeking. Calling it out and working on it will help bring it into the light, help me have the strength and the awareness to say no.

I think so. Because my family needs me, people around me need me, God needs me. I don't want to waste what opportunities and gifts I've been given, and I don't want to miss my life.

Doing the work consistently, rather than sporadically. Connection and accountability outside of my marriage.

Free time, entertainment, social media, alone time, etc.

YES, I AM LOOKING FOR STABILITY IN MY RELATIONSHIP AND NEED TO LEARN TO TURN OFF THE URGES OF PORN ADDICTION.

THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO RELY ON A SPONSOR TO HELP ME KEEP MY MIND RIGHT WHEN I GET IDEAS ABOUT LOOKING AND HOW TO KEEP AWAY FROM IT.

I AM NOT AFRAID OF COMING OUT OF THE PROGRAM WITH MY MIND OUT OF PORN.

THIS WILL WORK FOR ME BECAUSE I NEED THE DAY TO DAY STEPS TO HELP ME THROUGH EACH DAY WITHOUT PORN.

YES, I HAVE BEEN READY FOR MANY YEARS AND HAVE NOT KNOWN HOW. THIS IS A MUST FOR ME TO QUIT THE ADDICTION AND GET ON WITH A HEALTHY LIFE.

THIS TIME I WILL HAVE HELP AND GUIDANCE.

I WILL LEAVE BEHIND ALL THE INMATURE ACTIONS I HAVE HAD AND BECOME A TRUE PARTNER TO MY WIFE.

Part of me is because I think healing will occur. Part of me is not because I have done ARP 12 step through the church and I feel like it didn’t heal me enough. I feel like the 12 step in ARP left me feeling hopeless sometimes because I don’t know how I could’ve been more thorough yet they still didn’t work fully for me. I think I’m also full of shit and I have a hard time being fully honest with others and especially with myself. This work sounds difficult and for that reason I am not looking forward to the steps. I need to be doing these steps for me, not FOR anyone else. The steps sound like change that is scary to me because my natural inclination is the cling to what I have known as “true” or at least a reliable outcome even though it may not be the best outcome. I am so obsessed with knowing outcomes and feeling in control or at least knowing what comes next in my life. I think I am ready to let go of this way of living and give into the unknown but what God knows is best.

I hope that I can change into the man I want to be and become whole and complete and not feeling like I need to fill holes in my heart and soul with porn. I hope I can feel healed and strengthened and worthy and feel peace. I hope I can feel good about myself, who I am, and what I am doing in all areas of my life with nothing to hide. I hope that I can stop feeling like an imposter or a fake. I feel like I am never fully honest with myself or others about how I feel. I hope I can feel spiritually fed and learn to be intentional and present in every moment of life. I hope to feel enlightened by God and I hope I can feel reborn and finally feel like a whole complete person. Learn long lasting habits that will change me forever.

It won’t work and then I will feel more hopeless and will have wasted money and time when I could’ve done something else that would have worked better. Also I am afraid to give up what has been my “safety” or “comfort zone” thus far. I am afraid to be uncomfortable and give up my comfortable discomfort with porn, relapse, repent, and repeat. I’m scared of change and the unknown. I’m afraid of feeling like I’m not in control. I am afraid that being truthful will cause people to not like me and that people will discover that I am stupid and incompetent. I am afraid to be exposed with my weaknesses and all because I am afraid people will reject me because of them. I am afraid to lose what I have always known.

I feel like it’s up to me that I need to really put in the work and I feel that this is what stopped me in the past. I don’t feel that I put in enough work especially on the mental labor side of things. I feel that if I do this it will be hard but it will work. I need to be thorough and not move on to another step until I feel that it is 100% completed to the best of my ability and knowledge. I need to not let the step work become ‘routine’ but make sure I am really present when I am in the work. I need to approach each step each day with a new mentality then I have ever done before. I need to stop worrying about the future or past and stay completely present when I am in the work. In fact I think I need to do this in every area of my life.

I feel some resistance to this but I also have felt the most peace in my life when I have been actively practicing this. It is hard for me to do sometimes because I feel like I don’t feel it and I don’t want to be fake and say that I do want to give my life over when in the moment I don’t want to. I’m finding pride a very hard thing to give up. I can see myself being open to the idea of letting God take over because I think he will help to recreate my life from the base up and create a life that has true and deep joy that cannot be taken away by external circumstance. I want a spiritual awakening that lasts forever. I feel ready to give my life over because I think he will heal every part of my life. I have tried to do it my way for 24 years and that shit is not working. I know God is smarter than me, but sometimes my faith wavers and I doubt his existence which makes it hard to trust or go out on a limb when I’m questioning his existence. I need to learn my relationship with God and how his laws of life operate so I can act accordingly.

I will work the steps one at a time until I feel that I have fully competed it with no gaps left in my work. I will not work the step(s) simply to get through them and be done. I will be thorough and I will be intentionally present every time I work the steps and in every meeting that I attend. No half-assing this time. No more imposter syndrome. No more lying to myself or others. I will not ignore hard truths or realities in order to shelter me or anyone else. I commit to working this program consistently. Right now I feel that 4 days in a week is realistic for me.

I am willing to give up my old thought patterns and self held beliefs that I no longer need to serve me. They have not served me well and I feel that it is a time for a spiritual and mental rebirth. I need to get in touch with God and have a life change. I need constant humility and strength from God. I am willing to leave behind my comfort zone and my pre-conceived ideas about life and about what is truly important to me and to God. I am willing to give up my pride, my comfort zone, my way of doing things, my power, myself. I am willing to give my whole being to God.

Find in notebook/handwritten

Yes, I know that working the steps is essential to full recovery, so I am looking forward to working them

I gain insight to, understanding of and control over my addiction to allow me to achieve peace along with mental and spiritual health

I may not force myself to find the time to do the step work

I believe that it will work for me. I've been working the steps of the LDS ARP and it has helped me already a great deal, but I want additional support. And, I also want to find a sponsor, which I am hoping I can do through SAL

Yes. My addiction problems came to head in my life recently and if I don't find a way to recovery I will lose everything that is meaningful to me (starting with my own soul, but including my family as well).

This is my first time doing a 12 step program besides the ARP which I also just recently started. I had not made an honest effort at recovery prior to this.

My pride, my selfishness, my dishonesty, my feelings of being trapped, my feelings of hopelessness. I need to shift my frame of mind from seeing not participating in addictive behaviors as "missing out" to realizing that participating in addictive behaviors is what really causes me to miss out on peace, happiness and emotional and spiritual fulfillment

Yes. Since losing Cindy, I've gone through some real struggles! I immediately sank into despair. The one thing that gave me relief, even though it was temporary, was my habit of many, may years. It gave me temporary comfort, but didn't fix the problem.

I went to a stake priesthood meeting where I heard a talk about the dangers of pornography. Something inside clicked and I decided that I was going to give up pornography. I don't know when this happened, but it's been at least 2 years. Maybe 3. This time, I managed to kick the habit.

As of 4/1/2023, I also kicked the masturbation habit. I have to give the Lord credit, though. I had been trying for some time before, but didn't have the strength. With the Lord's help, I've managed 1.5 month.

I hope I can keep going on both of my recors.

I fear I'll lose my resolve.

Rena inspires me to be better. I want to live up to that inspiration.

yes

I'm receiving heavenly help. I want to be a better husband in that regard to Rena than I was to Cindy.

I'm willing to leave behind the temporary relief that the "high" gave me.

In a sense yes, I am looking forward to working through the steps. I am excited to get a handle on my urges and get them under control. I am not looking forward to the shame and guilt that is associated with the process.

I hope that I no longer consume pornographic material, and that I can heal my relationship with my partner

I am afraid that I won't stop watching pornography, and that I will continue my old habits. That I will betray my partners trust and she will leave me.

I feel that it will help me keep me accountable.

I am willing to let go of my addiction, however I am not one to believe in a higher power in a religious sense.

The previous times I was not as serious in stopping my patterns. I just tried to stop but didn't do any work beyond that

anything that is holding me back from leading a healthier life

Yes, because I want to learn and expand my recovery and help others at the same time

I get more recovery and am able to help others more

I might not do the work in order to stay sober

It will strengthen me everyday and help me learn more also

yes, because it has had control of me almost my entire life

more consistent and long lasting

time to do other things when working recovery materials and reaching out to people

Yes, I am very committed to staying in recovery and feel this will help.

My tool belt for staying in recovery will strengthen and my ability to connect with those I love will improve.

I am not afraid anything negative will happen. Its all positive

Keeping recovery principles at the forefront of my consciencness is what will help me stay in recovery.

Yes, that is the path to ultimate happiness in this life.

I will stick with it.

I am ready to leave my addiction and addictive behaviors behind!

Yes. Because I want to change the way I experience life and the way I think about and interact with God. The way of life the steps offer is more serene than the life I current live.

I hope that my relationship with God changes. I hope to let go of resentment for him and to accept life on life’s terms. I hope to navigate difficult situations better than I usually do. I hope to be the kind of person I would want to marry.

I’m afraid I might relapse and/or give up too early. I’m afraid I might have to do things I don’t want to do.

I have always found success when I have accountability and structure in my recovery. When I don’t have daily recovery work I almost always end up relapsing eventually.

Yes. Because my behaviors have escalated and threaten to destroy everything good in my life.

I will stick to working the steps daily for an indeterminate amount of time. I won’t let my sponsor run my recovery I will take ownership of it and allows sponsors to be my guide.

My old way of thinking. My old ways of managing stress. My old beliefs about God.

Absolutely. I have been looking for a sponsor to start my step work and I found one a couple weeks ago.

I hope to have a better understanding and gain knowledge of the recovery, healing and learning process.

That maybe it won’t work for me.

It would be great to have a structured program that I can follow

Yes. I’ve been sober for 13 months now

InWill have a step by step program to follow.

My hesitancy, fear and anxiousness.

I am looking forward to working the steps because I have caused too much damage in my life and what to be completely loyal to my wife. I also need to stop hurting my wife, I am sick of the pain that I keep on causing her and want her to have some rest.

I hope that I learn how to truly recover and stay recovered. I hope that I can develop into a better husband and father.

I am afraid that I will get lazy and prideful and think that I am good and can relax from the program. I know that I can't do this because the evidence in my life is overwhelming that I keep relapsing when I think that I am okay. I think I can do it on my own then I don't reach out for help and fall.

I think It will work for me because it will help me learn and remind me of what is important on a daily basis.

I am ready to let go of my addiction and to turn my will completely over to God. Life is so much better when I am living and enjoying reality than when I am caught up in addiction. I want to be free and find true rest and happiness.

This time I will not let myself slack, I will exert all the energy in my being to balance life well and put my focus where it needs to be. I know that I am imperfect and I will probably have moments where I struggle being consistent, but if I find myself slacking I will repent and get back on the right course

I am willing to leave behind worldly entertainment and seek a higher form of entertainment that brings true happiness. I am willing to leave behind looking at certain news stations. I am willing to leave behind youtube. I am willing to leave behind anything that I find could distract me from what is really important

Yes, I feel working the Steps has been a missing link in my recovery.

I hope that I will strengthen my recovery and be able to guide others in the process.

I am afraid that it will be not possible to make amends for all of the damage My behaviors have caused.

I have issues with time management. I need to be more disciplined.

YES! God has given me an opportunity to be free from addiction if I will just do the work.

I have support, through groups, therapy, thru my wife and I am able to confess my sins.

The old ways of being addicted. I have left social media, all gaming, any web browsing for porn. I am willing to give my life to God for his guidance and mercy.

Yes, I am happy to be looking to recover my real self. It is the 11th hour for me. I am 77 years old and I have learned much about recovery in my life. But, the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know. I want to know more. I want to be all in. There are many blessings in the 2nd mile. I want to finally ascend to the summit.

I want to plan to succeed. I want more structure. Systematic study will keep me focused on building the new. Systematic study will give me strength at critical times of weakness when I am vulnerable to wander off the path. I want to be able to DO what I KNOW to DO at all times so that I can qualify for baptism. Next Sept/Oct.

I worry that I will not be able to be consistent with daily work. I worry my desire to succeed might fade and that I will digress back into mediocrity. I worry I will slip in a weak moment and ruin by sobriety which by necessity must be perfect.

I am working under the assumption that by doing all within my power to consistently connect with God daily, I will unleash the healing power of Jesus Christ and he will bring me safely to port. He will heal my affirmaties. Step work for me includes real daily prayer which connects me to God, journaling, scripture reading, recovery reading, accountability, honesty, willingness, open-mindedness.

I hope so but please "God, strengthen thou my unbelieve". I have tried and failed more times than I can count. I believe my patriarchal blessing that states that I will "be blessed to live until I have completed my mission on earth." I think that overcoming the "the natural man" is a mission I was given in mortality. The time is now. It is the hour.

Daily consistency, more focus, more application of true principles of recovery. Faith in the healing power of Jesus Christ. Less dependence on the arm of flesh.

Fear of man. Pride.

I'm mixed. I worked the steps before honestly before and feel like I did it all. I am now thinking about the things that I can improve on and new step zero and step one thoughts that I can bring out. It is not something that I am looking forward to. I fear the pain that is forthcoming.

I hope that I can get back to finding hope and peace and the freedom that I used to feel. I have become somewhat numb to joy and hope.

I'm afraid that it won't make any difference or change anything in my life. I'm afraid of this because I don't think I know how to work the steps and that I won't be honest or open enough.

I am so inconsistent in my personal life. I am really terrible at self discipline and don't trust myself to be consistent and follow a daily schedule. But I am willing to try. And I am willing to surrender my inconsistency to God and allow Him to direct my life.

I want to allow God to drive my life. I screw it up when I am at the wheel.

Good question. I am more mature I think, and have an increased ability to focus on what's important.

I can leave behind anything that hinders me. I believe that I can.

I'm happy about doing the steps. I wan't to do them because I want real change in my life.

To be able to have self control from my urges

That I complete all steps and fall back into porn like these steps meant nothing

Consistency is key for me, not getting complacent in just being ok for a day but days that can turn into a lifetime.

That Higher Power is Jesus for me.

Finishing

Any distractions that can cause me to stumble

Yes, I am. I want to rid myself of the addictions that have plagued me for decades.

I come closer to God and emotionally connected to my wife.

Relapse. Lose everything (wife, job, kids distance themselves from me)

I've already seen progress by setting goals and working toward them daily. I know the curriculum will help me even more to stay focused.

Yes. I reached rock bottom last year and have no desire to return to the lifestyle I was living.

I'm being open with my spouse and open to God. I am inviting God into my life. No secrets.

My sins. My addictions. My former cravings and desires.

Yes, I am. I want to rid myself of the addictions that have plagued me for decades.

I come closer to God and emotionally connected to my wife.

Relapse.

I’ve already seen progress by setting goals and working toward them daily. I know the curriculum will help me even more to stay focused.

Yes. I reached rock bottom recently and have no desire to return to the lifestyle I was living.

I’m being open with my spouse and open to God. I am inviting God into my life. No secrets.

My sins. My addictions. My former cravings and desires.

Yes. I've worked them before, and I'm excited about the new things I'll learn.

I hope working the steps daily helps keep me in the right attitude and mindset of recovery.

I'm not really afraid of anything happening, but if I had to pick an irrational fear, it's the same one I've always had, which is that I won't find sobriety even after working the steps.

I know it'll help me stay close to the Lord, and to His truths that are taught in the 12 steps.

Yes. I've been doing so for a while but I've gotten away from it. I want to make sure I'm staying close to the Lord and the program. I want to banish the doubts in my mind of my own worthiness.

I'll have to discover the best way to keep working the steps regularly. I'm hoping having "assigned" work through this curriculum will help me do that.

The ways that I choose to escape from my feelings.

This will be my second serious effort to work the steps. I am looking forward to it.
12/4/24 - This will be my third time of a serious working of the steps and I’m anxious to do it.

I want to have my thoughts and actions come more from my heart and be much deeper and internal. I also hope that my mental health will improve and that my fears will decrease. I also hope that a good kind of confidence will increase.
12/4/24 - I have the same hope and desire as I did in April of 2023.

I am afraid that Julie will divorce me if I have to disclose more details.
I am afraid of having to apologize and make amends to others.
12/4/24 I’m not afraid of what might happen. Julie did divorce me. I don’t regret disclosing all of the details. Making amends was a beautiful experience

I think the steps and group meetings will help me continually bring light on my lust and allow me a greater progressive victory.
12/4/24 - It’s is the actions that I take that make the difference in recovery. Being intentional about working the steps is really important

I hope that I am. I really want to change and become the kind of spouse, father, brother and person that I have the potential to be.
12/4/24 - I continue to become more willing and ready to surrender my will to His will

My time in this life is running out and I don’t want to have any more regrets.
12/4/24 I still feel the same way today

I have a greater confidence this time and believe that I will be more authentic and real in my recovery
12/4/24 - I still share the same attitude and optimism about this time as last time.

I am willing to leave resentment and getting defensive behind me.
12/4/24 I agree and add fear, indecision, and the approval of others

I am. I have worked the steps multiple times and always found them to be a rewarding experience. It truly changes who I am and whenever I'm not working the steps, I'm struggling. I am also interested in working this program because it's something different from what I've done before and I would love a new perspective.

I hope that I will continue to grow both as a person and in my faith and connection with God and others. I also hope that I can show my wife my continued commitment to her and to my recovery.

I'm afraid that I won't be successful and that I'll give up. I'm also afraid that it won't be enough.

I've done it before and it's the only way that works for me.

This is a difficult question. I want to say yes, but I think being an addict means there is always a hesitance here. A continued, incorrect, desire to maintain my own power and will. But I know from experience that the only way to remain sane and sober is through letting go and letting God take over.

I don't know if I can say what will be different. I think as I work the steps, I will learn new things and find new practices that help me to change myself and my efforts.

I know I have to be willing to leave behind everything that is keeping me tied into my addictive patterns. Right now that is non-sexual lust and escapism. Particularly in the form of games. I have drawn that line but just recently broke it and lied to my wife about it. I have to be willing to let that go completely.

I am looking forward to working the steps because I know it’s what I need to do to truly recover

I hope I will begin to see some of the 12 promises come to light. I want to become good at getting what I truly want and need in this life

I am afraid that I will fail along the way and stop working the steps because my addict brain says it doesn’t work. I am afraid my addiction will over power the steps.

Because I know it takes daily practice to get good at something. I also trust my sponsor when he tells me this.

Because if not now, when? It’s gone on too long. My wife deserves better and I deserve to move on from this crippling sin. I am ready to turn over my will to Gods and surrender to whatever that may be.

Daily step work. A recovery program. Connection with God and with my wife. Sponsorship.

I am willing to leave behind distractions like video games and a little extra sleep in the morning in order to get up and put God and my step work first. I am willing to give up comfortability.

I am looking forward to working the steps. I have tried some other ways of gaining recovery and have not made the kind of progress i would like.

I hope to gain in site into what feeds may addiction.

I am afraid I may not work the program as I should.

The day to day part will work for me because I work a daily program now.

I tried doing recovery my way and it did not work as well as I would like. So I am going to quite being willful and work the program.

I will do the program with fidelity.

I am going to give up my tv/youtube time for recovery.

yes, Why now because I want have a good relationship with my wife and children. I. want a better relationship with my higher power.

I am going to put in whatever it required to reach longterm sobriety.

Yes. I am looking forward to reworking them, and to have a guide to doing them. I am especially happy to have a guide through all of the reading.

I hope that the principles I learn will truly become a part of me and guide my life and behaviors.

I am afraid of starting and not finishing.

I think a day to day process will help me to create new and consistent recovery habits.

Yes.

I am working through it with a sponsee.

Good question.