Men’s Intro Questions

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Yes, looking forward to not having to hide anymore and finding others who I can relate with and be supported. Finding a stronger connection with my partner and not basing the connection on only sex. Not having to spend all of this time currently spent fighting and undoing any damage done.
No, afraid of the unraveling and emotional distress of unpacking all of my past trauma and the hard I have done for others because of it

That things get easier, I have a closer connection with my partner and I can start to find joy in my life

My partner won't except me for who I am and what I have done and gone through. I am afraid to fail

Consistency and takign a liittle bit at time as to not to get overwhelmed.

I want to be but I am not sure what a higher power means to me as of yet but I am trying to do what the program says to "keep an open mind"

Consistency, and being honest

All of the negative thought patterns and beliefs that I carry with me that cause me harm on a daily basis

Yes I am, because I am ready to make a change in my life and find some solace through ritual self-work that is provided by experts who have walked these steps before me.

I hope that I gain confidence in myself, begun to let go of the negative emotions that have ruled my life, and build skills to connect with the important people in my life. All while experiencing true joy, peace, and freedom.

I am afraid the steps will not help me overcome the addiction and/or my behaviors will not change.

It will work for me because it will provide an anchor, and a grounding point that prove that I am supported by something greater than myself.

Yes. Because I am fully willing to admit the severity of this problem and horrible consequences that have come from it. I want so badly to know what it's like to live a truly joyful life.

I will ensure that I stick to the program, I will have sponsorship, and I will be brutally honest about my thoughts and actions.

I am willing to leave behind a belief that I am strong enough on my own.
I am willing to leave behind pornography forever.
I am willing to leave behind the sensations and thoughts that accompany masturbation.

Yep

I will be kinder to my family, less prideful, and most importantly, no longer white-knuckling my sobriety.

I won't have a steady habit of doing this.

I feel it will work if I'm doing it daily. I'm ready!

YES. I know I'm powerless.

I will be guided.

My own way of doing things.

Yes and no. I am looking forward to recovery but apprehensive about the future.

I hope that I start to become a better person

Now that I think about it, nothing, I guess.

I respond well to structure.

Nothing else has worked

More structure and support

Porn

Yes cause I want to get better and improve myself, and no cause it feels like a lot in my life right now and there are some hard things to working the steps, but overall I am excited

I hope I can find proper recovery and also work on my character flaws as well and work on some of the difficulties of my life that I’ve struggled with for a long time

I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it and won’t find my recovery

It will work because it will help keep me present in recovery every day I’m also worried that I won’t have the time or ability to do recovery

Yes cause it’s time and I don’t want to lose my family and I know I will if I don’t

Doing it every day, being honest, way more honest than I have been, and just do it every day

Dishonesty and the favorite sins and just doing my best to work hard at it every day. I’m going to leave behind laziness

Yes, I feel like I need more structure in my step work. After 3 years and 2 sponsors I feel I haven't done the steps as well as I should.

My relationship with God and those around me get stronger.

I may feel like an amends needs to be made to those that I have felt in the past like it may do more harm than good.

I feel like the daily routine of working the steps will help me get me back where I want to be.

Yes. I feel I have been for quite a while now, it's just that I couldn't afford the program. Also I want to be where I was with recovery once again.

I am moving forward now with the hopes of bringing other with me. As I better understand the steps I can help those that I sponsor.

Yes. Although I may be sober I want a deeper connection. And work a living amends.

Yes and no. Yes because I know that the addiction is not going anywhere and unless I do something nothing is going to change. No, because I’m scared I’ll fail or not stay consistent with this. I am still prone to shaming myself when I mess up and kind of nervous to take this serious again.

Gain more direction in my life and confidence. I just want to be headed in a positive direction with a program for living that works for me.

I won’t stay consistent with this after a couple of weeks and end right back at square zero.

I’ve had success with this before. I have worked the steps and did notice a big change in the my spiritual life.

Honestly I don’t know if I’m ready or not. Recently I came out of a divorce, and I’ve felt really apathetic towards acting out
Like nothing mattered anymore. What I do know is that whether I’m ready or not I want to start moving out of this stuck in addiction period of my life. Why now? Because I know this isn’t something that aligns with my personal values and I’m tired of it. It takes away from life, it doesn’t add. Also because I’ve notice the addiction progressing. I’m not sleeping around with a bunch of women but I could see it getting there and then I just don’t feel like I would end up with the right person for me. I want to stop the progression and have more confidence that my life isn’t ruled by compulsion.

This time I’m really wanting to change these habits not for someone else not for a goal or out of fear. I just want to do it for me. My main focus is going to be staying consistent and creating healthy habits physically, spiritually, emotionally, etc.

Getting massages, unrestrained technology use, no accountability, triggering materials.

Kind of. I have tried the ARP 12 steps and did not find a lot of help for me, but I hope this program will be different!

I will learn how to handle the problems I face with my addiction and how to overcome it.

That the program may not work for me and I will be stuck as I have been for most of my life.

I learn better with daily effort, so I feel this method will work for me.

Yes, my addiction has caused me way too much pain, frustration, and suffering.

I am hitting my problem at every angle I know possible.

The old way of facing problems

Yes. I haven’t had any success in overcoming my addiction by myself and I’m encouraged by this program to begin a life in sobriety.

I’m hoping that my view of life changes from one of lust to love.

It won’t work for me.

I’m pretty sure that daily workings will have a more sustainable effect on my life.

Yes. I’m tired of the guilt, shame, and pain that I’m feeling and want to give that away permanently.

I’m committed to doing this daily and att me my meeting weekly.

Lust, shame, acting out, judgment and self loathing.

Yes, I am tired to bring subject to my list addiction. If it's not allowing me to fully be who I want to be.

I hope to gain sobriety, learn to overcome the pull of lust, and improve all my relationships, including with myself.

I'm afraid I might give up or stop working the steps. I also compartmentalize my life and ignore the person I am when I act out most of the rest of the time. I'm a little nervous to fully face that person. I imagine I need to merge the addict with who I am and become one healthy whole.

I think it will far better that what I am currently doing, which is mostly white knuckling it with scattered prayer and Scripture study mixed in. But I'm a little skeptical because of how long I've dealt with this addiction.

I hope so. Kind of depends on the day. Today yes, definitely. But when I'm feeling the pull of lust it us harder to let go because a very real part of me wants to give in.

Daily efforts with a guided plan.

I'd like to say "whatever it takes." I'm working on the conviction to fully mean it.

Yes. With my sponsors time and my time not meeting up with each other I’m kind of lost on what kind of step study to do. This will help me have something daily to accomplish.

I hope to explore my feelings and triggers and be able set up boundaries to prevent any lust hits and acting out behaviors.

My fear is my lack of motivation after a few months of recovery work.

I think it will work for me because I can’t make as much progress as I would like with just attending one SAL meeting a week.

Yes. It’s been much too long with this addiction, 17 years! I’m done with it. I want to learn from this so I can help my son not get into this addiction.

I have more resources this time. I have a community of men on the same path as I am helping me through this.

Lusting, fantasizing, objectifying women.

I'm looking forward to the results of working the steps, though the process will undoubtedly be hard. I'm definitely nervous. But I know I need this and want this, and I look forward to addressing the the underlying needs and issues I have that my addiction feeds on or responds to.

I hope I'm able to have more awareness and understanding, more nuance in seeing addiction behaviors and triggers. I want to be ever-watchful and open about and conscious of my addiction, but not let it define me.

I won't have the strength to stick with the program, fully commit, find a sponsor, etc. Also afraid that I won't make the progress I want to

I think it will if I set reasonable goals and expectations. I think starting the day with this puts me in a healthy place that will better keep me from those self-deceptive behaviors and pleasure-seeking. Calling it out and working on it will help bring it into the light, help me have the strength and the awareness to say no.

I think so. Because my family needs me, people around me need me, God needs me. I don't want to waste what opportunities and gifts I've been given, and I don't want to miss my life.

Doing the work consistently, rather than sporadically. Connection and accountability outside of my marriage.

Free time, entertainment, social media, alone time, etc.

YES, I AM LOOKING FOR STABILITY IN MY RELATIONSHIP AND NEED TO LEARN TO TURN OFF THE URGES OF PORN ADDICTION.

THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO RELY ON A SPONSOR TO HELP ME KEEP MY MIND RIGHT WHEN I GET IDEAS ABOUT LOOKING AND HOW TO KEEP AWAY FROM IT.

I AM NOT AFRAID OF COMING OUT OF THE PROGRAM WITH MY MIND OUT OF PORN.

THIS WILL WORK FOR ME BECAUSE I NEED THE DAY TO DAY STEPS TO HELP ME THROUGH EACH DAY WITHOUT PORN.

YES, I HAVE BEEN READY FOR MANY YEARS AND HAVE NOT KNOWN HOW. THIS IS A MUST FOR ME TO QUIT THE ADDICTION AND GET ON WITH A HEALTHY LIFE.

THIS TIME I WILL HAVE HELP AND GUIDANCE.

I WILL LEAVE BEHIND ALL THE INMATURE ACTIONS I HAVE HAD AND BECOME A TRUE PARTNER TO MY WIFE.

Part of me is because I think healing will occur. Part of me is not because I have done ARP 12 step through the church and I feel like it didn’t heal me enough. I feel like the 12 step in ARP left me feeling hopeless sometimes because I don’t know how I could’ve been more thorough yet they still didn’t work fully for me. I think I’m also full of shit and I have a hard time being fully honest with others and especially with myself. This work sounds difficult and for that reason I am not looking forward to the steps. I need to be doing these steps for me, not FOR anyone else. The steps sound like change that is scary to me because my natural inclination is the cling to what I have known as “true” or at least a reliable outcome even though it may not be the best outcome. I am so obsessed with knowing outcomes and feeling in control or at least knowing what comes next in my life. I think I am ready to let go of this way of living and give into the unknown but what God knows is best.

I hope that I can change into the man I want to be and become whole and complete and not feeling like I need to fill holes in my heart and soul with porn. I hope I can feel healed and strengthened and worthy and feel peace. I hope I can feel good about myself, who I am, and what I am doing in all areas of my life with nothing to hide. I hope that I can stop feeling like an imposter or a fake. I feel like I am never fully honest with myself or others about how I feel. I hope I can feel spiritually fed and learn to be intentional and present in every moment of life. I hope to feel enlightened by God and I hope I can feel reborn and finally feel like a whole complete person. Learn long lasting habits that will change me forever.

It won’t work and then I will feel more hopeless and will have wasted money and time when I could’ve done something else that would have worked better. Also I am afraid to give up what has been my “safety” or “comfort zone” thus far. I am afraid to be uncomfortable and give up my comfortable discomfort with porn, relapse, repent, and repeat. I’m scared of change and the unknown. I’m afraid of feeling like I’m not in control. I am afraid that being truthful will cause people to not like me and that people will discover that I am stupid and incompetent. I am afraid to be exposed with my weaknesses and all because I am afraid people will reject me because of them. I am afraid to lose what I have always known.

I feel like it’s up to me that I need to really put in the work and I feel that this is what stopped me in the past. I don’t feel that I put in enough work especially on the mental labor side of things. I feel that if I do this it will be hard but it will work. I need to be thorough and not move on to another step until I feel that it is 100% completed to the best of my ability and knowledge. I need to not let the step work become ‘routine’ but make sure I am really present when I am in the work. I need to approach each step each day with a new mentality then I have ever done before. I need to stop worrying about the future or past and stay completely present when I am in the work. In fact I think I need to do this in every area of my life.

I feel some resistance to this but I also have felt the most peace in my life when I have been actively practicing this. It is hard for me to do sometimes because I feel like I don’t feel it and I don’t want to be fake and say that I do want to give my life over when in the moment I don’t want to. I’m finding pride a very hard thing to give up. I can see myself being open to the idea of letting God take over because I think he will help to recreate my life from the base up and create a life that has true and deep joy that cannot be taken away by external circumstance. I want a spiritual awakening that lasts forever. I feel ready to give my life over because I think he will heal every part of my life. I have tried to do it my way for 24 years and that shit is not working. I know God is smarter than me, but sometimes my faith wavers and I doubt his existence which makes it hard to trust or go out on a limb when I’m questioning his existence. I need to learn my relationship with God and how his laws of life operate so I can act accordingly.

I will work the steps one at a time until I feel that I have fully competed it with no gaps left in my work. I will not work the step(s) simply to get through them and be done. I will be thorough and I will be intentionally present every time I work the steps and in every meeting that I attend. No half-assing this time. No more imposter syndrome. No more lying to myself or others. I will not ignore hard truths or realities in order to shelter me or anyone else. I commit to working this program consistently. Right now I feel that 4 days in a week is realistic for me.

I am willing to give up my old thought patterns and self held beliefs that I no longer need to serve me. They have not served me well and I feel that it is a time for a spiritual and mental rebirth. I need to get in touch with God and have a life change. I need constant humility and strength from God. I am willing to leave behind my comfort zone and my pre-conceived ideas about life and about what is truly important to me and to God. I am willing to give up my pride, my comfort zone, my way of doing things, my power, myself. I am willing to give my whole being to God.

Find in notebook/handwritten

Yes, I know that working the steps is essential to full recovery, so I am looking forward to working them

I gain insight to, understanding of and control over my addiction to allow me to achieve peace along with mental and spiritual health

I may not force myself to find the time to do the step work

I believe that it will work for me. I've been working the steps of the LDS ARP and it has helped me already a great deal, but I want additional support. And, I also want to find a sponsor, which I am hoping I can do through SAL

Yes. My addiction problems came to head in my life recently and if I don't find a way to recovery I will lose everything that is meaningful to me (starting with my own soul, but including my family as well).

This is my first time doing a 12 step program besides the ARP which I also just recently started. I had not made an honest effort at recovery prior to this.

My pride, my selfishness, my dishonesty, my feelings of being trapped, my feelings of hopelessness. I need to shift my frame of mind from seeing not participating in addictive behaviors as "missing out" to realizing that participating in addictive behaviors is what really causes me to miss out on peace, happiness and emotional and spiritual fulfillment

Yes. Since losing Cindy, I've gone through some real struggles! I immediately sank into despair. The one thing that gave me relief, even though it was temporary, was my habit of many, may years. It gave me temporary comfort, but didn't fix the problem.

I went to a stake priesthood meeting where I heard a talk about the dangers of pornography. Something inside clicked and I decided that I was going to give up pornography. I don't know when this happened, but it's been at least 2 years. Maybe 3. This time, I managed to kick the habit.

As of 4/1/2023, I also kicked the masturbation habit. I have to give the Lord credit, though. I had been trying for some time before, but didn't have the strength. With the Lord's help, I've managed 1.5 month.

I hope I can keep going on both of my recors.

I fear I'll lose my resolve.

Rena inspires me to be better. I want to live up to that inspiration.

yes

I'm receiving heavenly help. I want to be a better husband in that regard to Rena than I was to Cindy.

I'm willing to leave behind the temporary relief that the "high" gave me.

In a sense yes, I am looking forward to working through the steps. I am excited to get a handle on my urges and get them under control. I am not looking forward to the shame and guilt that is associated with the process.

I hope that I no longer consume pornographic material, and that I can heal my relationship with my partner

I am afraid that I won't stop watching pornography, and that I will continue my old habits. That I will betray my partners trust and she will leave me.

I feel that it will help me keep me accountable.

I am willing to let go of my addiction, however I am not one to believe in a higher power in a religious sense.

The previous times I was not as serious in stopping my patterns. I just tried to stop but didn't do any work beyond that

anything that is holding me back from leading a healthier life

Yes, because I want to learn and expand my recovery and help others at the same time

I get more recovery and am able to help others more

I might not do the work in order to stay sober

It will strengthen me everyday and help me learn more also

yes, because it has had control of me almost my entire life

more consistent and long lasting

time to do other things when working recovery materials and reaching out to people

Yes, I am very committed to staying in recovery and feel this will help.

My tool belt for staying in recovery will strengthen and my ability to connect with those I love will improve.

I am not afraid anything negative will happen. Its all positive

Keeping recovery principles at the forefront of my consciencness is what will help me stay in recovery.

Yes, that is the path to ultimate happiness in this life.

I will stick with it.

I am ready to leave my addiction and addictive behaviors behind!

Yes. Because I want to change the way I experience life and the way I think about and interact with God. The way of life the steps offer is more serene than the life I current live.

I hope that my relationship with God changes. I hope to let go of resentment for him and to accept life on life’s terms. I hope to navigate difficult situations better than I usually do. I hope to be the kind of person I would want to marry.

I’m afraid I might relapse and/or give up too early. I’m afraid I might have to do things I don’t want to do.

I have always found success when I have accountability and structure in my recovery. When I don’t have daily recovery work I almost always end up relapsing eventually.

Yes. Because my behaviors have escalated and threaten to destroy everything good in my life.

I will stick to working the steps daily for an indeterminate amount of time. I won’t let my sponsor run my recovery I will take ownership of it and allows sponsors to be my guide.

My old way of thinking. My old ways of managing stress. My old beliefs about God.

Absolutely. I have been looking for a sponsor to start my step work and I found one a couple weeks ago.

I hope to have a better understanding and gain knowledge of the recovery, healing and learning process.

That maybe it won’t work for me.

It would be great to have a structured program that I can follow

Yes. I’ve been sober for 13 months now

InWill have a step by step program to follow.

My hesitancy, fear and anxiousness.

I am looking forward to working the steps because I have caused too much damage in my life and what to be completely loyal to my wife. I also need to stop hurting my wife, I am sick of the pain that I keep on causing her and want her to have some rest.

I hope that I learn how to truly recover and stay recovered. I hope that I can develop into a better husband and father.

I am afraid that I will get lazy and prideful and think that I am good and can relax from the program. I know that I can't do this because the evidence in my life is overwhelming that I keep relapsing when I think that I am okay. I think I can do it on my own then I don't reach out for help and fall.

I think It will work for me because it will help me learn and remind me of what is important on a daily basis.

I am ready to let go of my addiction and to turn my will completely over to God. Life is so much better when I am living and enjoying reality than when I am caught up in addiction. I want to be free and find true rest and happiness.

This time I will not let myself slack, I will exert all the energy in my being to balance life well and put my focus where it needs to be. I know that I am imperfect and I will probably have moments where I struggle being consistent, but if I find myself slacking I will repent and get back on the right course

I am willing to leave behind worldly entertainment and seek a higher form of entertainment that brings true happiness. I am willing to leave behind looking at certain news stations. I am willing to leave behind youtube. I am willing to leave behind anything that I find could distract me from what is really important

Yes, I feel working the Steps has been a missing link in my recovery.

I hope that I will strengthen my recovery and be able to guide others in the process.

I am afraid that it will be not possible to make amends for all of the damage My behaviors have caused.

I have issues with time management. I need to be more disciplined.

YES! God has given me an opportunity to be free from addiction if I will just do the work.

I have support, through groups, therapy, thru my wife and I am able to confess my sins.

The old ways of being addicted. I have left social media, all gaming, any web browsing for porn. I am willing to give my life to God for his guidance and mercy.

Yes, I am happy to be looking to recover my real self. It is the 11th hour for me. I am 77 years old and I have learned much about recovery in my life. But, the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know. I want to know more. I want to be all in. There are many blessings in the 2nd mile. I want to finally ascend to the summit.

I want to plan to succeed. I want more structure. Systematic study will keep me focused on building the new. Systematic study will give me strength at critical times of weakness when I am vulnerable to wander off the path. I want to be able to DO what I KNOW to DO at all times so that I can qualify for baptism. Next Sept/Oct.

I worry that I will not be able to be consistent with daily work. I worry my desire to succeed might fade and that I will digress back into mediocrity. I worry I will slip in a weak moment and ruin by sobriety which by necessity must be perfect.

I am working under the assumption that by doing all within my power to consistently connect with God daily, I will unleash the healing power of Jesus Christ and he will bring me safely to port. He will heal my affirmaties. Step work for me includes real daily prayer which connects me to God, journaling, scripture reading, recovery reading, accountability, honesty, willingness, open-mindedness.

I hope so but please "God, strengthen thou my unbelieve". I have tried and failed more times than I can count. I believe my patriarchal blessing that states that I will "be blessed to live until I have completed my mission on earth." I think that overcoming the "the natural man" is a mission I was given in mortality. The time is now. It is the hour.

Daily consistency, more focus, more application of true principles of recovery. Faith in the healing power of Jesus Christ. Less dependence on the arm of flesh.

Fear of man. Pride.