Lying by omission. I think most of us, even if we're honest people, can relate to this for of lying in addiction.
I personally prefer a face to face fellowship because I like to feel the energy of the group.
On average I talk to 4 - 5 program people everyday.
I have porn blockers on all of my electronic devices. I also attend 1 to 2 12 step meetings a day.
When we're not in our active addiction and taking strides to concur this addiction it becomes easier to see God's intentions for us.
Fellowship is key to success ... can not do it alone
Need to stop acting out in all forms (can not stop one and still be active in another form). Need to stop ANY act of LUST in any form. There can not be any true recovery if we let it persist in any form (actions & thinking).
The program doesn't tell us how to stop, we did it many times, it tell us how not to START AGAIN.
We wanted others to fix us, now we stop and in our surrender, the power of GOD becomes effective in us!
Get the support of other, not feel alone in our struggle. Get their experience and way they manage similar issues successfully but also their struggles... all are struggling in some ways and can share how they manage to overcome.
be comfortable to be vulnerable with an audience you trust so no secret is kept hidden.
Feel better about myself with my sickness: not alone & accepted by others!
Goal to reach one every day (Gary, Justin B - GA, Lynman, Chris S - TX, ...)
The first boundaries are here to limit exposure to views that could be triggering and create a slippage; therefore limited usage of computer and phone beyond work utilization. I am not yet where I could be as I still use news app or Youtube that can have some challenging content / views.
There first need to have some intention ... the one of stopping. Before we were expecting that others would help us get "repaired" and this time, while we are still in control. This time we give control to God through our surrendering. We have proven to be powerless over lust and our life had became unmanageable... So now we need to let the power of God be effective in us, let God lead!
meetings - always. no excuse. I'm still trying to work out why we need that, but as the book seems to imply - it's not known why it works, it just does and it's necessary.
not completely sure - as above, I don't know, but I'm willing to work on it.
I'll make at least one call to someone on the contact list (someone other than my sponsor.)
I've taken most of the social media off my phone.
in a way, it's a trust thing - we express our trust in god (even a little) by stopping and as we do, our trust (faith?) is rewarded by god's help - usually in ways we won't/can't recognize yet.
Haven’t read it yet but will as soon as the book arrives I will
just read it now, what i liked the best was the "doing things- anything- got me out of myself and into the real world.
Interaction with others keeps us accountable. Knowing I am not alone and there are people that will listen and have guidance and wisdom
Fellow brothers in the tuesday night group
Kenny b
Andre s
Dave h
certain websites, time in which the phone is on, and giving access to Zoe on a daily basis
Conscious decisions to surrender to god and let the moment pass. Trust that this will work and work the steps daily until it’s effective
I’m not waiting for someone else to stop me, the therapist, the spouse or god. I stop, and in my surrender I call upon the power of god. It stuck out to me because I guess I’ve always been waiting for someone else to do the stopping, I must do it, and then call upon god, the fellowship members and others for my support, especially god
By being surrounded by other like minded people it helps get me outside of myself where I can easily be lost in my thinking, and helps make the recovery process real
I’ll reach out to members of the fellowship each day, and try to connect with them
I don’t know if I have any specific boundaries. But I’ve made a renewed commitment to turn to the lord in all my struggles
I believe it to mean I must make the decision to stop, do everything I can to stay stopped. And then when debilitating temptations and tribulations come along, turn to the lord and reach out to him. Also connect regularly with other members of the fellowship
Getting involved in meetings. the meetings I have gone to so far have been good. I have felt that I am Not alone, I see the success of members whether it be short or 10 years. I have left feeling energized and ready to conquer Life.
I think Its essential to both ourselves and others. In ourselves it shows a commitment. the Brotherhood of the fellowship helps us to overcome our weeknesses
I Need to figure that out. I haven't reached out to anyone yet. I might reach out to Duncan or someone else. I do talk to family and friends week but not so much about recovery and addiction.
hm the link doesn't work.
I have put content blocker on my internet. removed reddit from my phone
as we are abstinent the power of god helps us be sober as well as have the spirit with us.
The link above does not work. I have set boundaries for myself. I do not have any apps, other than amazon on my phone and realize that i need to dispose of the amazon app as well. I feel ashamed.
If we DO NOT stop, then the power of God cannot become effective in us. If we DO NOT surrender, then the power of God cannot become effective in us. I must stop, I must surrender.
The level of my recovery equates to the amounts to my participation in the "fellowship".
I have been really improving my relationship with God through my morning scripture study and prayer. This have allowed me to have great power and ability to stay close to Him. However, I have started to feel complacent in working the steps of recovery through becoming entrenched in the fellowship. I would like to be ALL IN.
Russell
Marcus
Devin
Russ
Matt
Jonathan
I will not bring my phone into the bathroom. Ever
I loved the statement in the reading that we didn't need help stopping. We had done that a thousand times. What we needed help with is not starting again. It is in our surrender to God, in admitting that we were powerless over the lust that it starts to have less power over us. When I surrender that. When I give it to God I receive His strength and His power.
How much it related to me. About thinking I could do it alone
Because I’m not in this alone
My wife
That when we stop letting this sinful addiction control our lives. That’s we can start growing as individuals in the right direction
How I need to get rid of all forms of this addiction. Not just the obvious things, but the anger and the helplessness.
People are social creatures. We can’t survive without others, and if those others can relate to you that’s even better.
I’m not sure what a sponsor is. I reach out to my mother father bishop and god
Restrictions on my phone. The internet gets turned off every night. Constantly watched/asked how things are going
Like it says in the books if we give up, in the right way we are handing our life to god
Needing to make contact, even resorting to letterwriting.
Needing to stop. They say that is step zero, but that feels like the whole program. If I could just stop, then I wouldn't need the program.
God won't save me in isolation, as much as I want Him to. I hear that the opposite of addiction is connection. I'm not sure I understand why or how that is. The connection I have had to this point hasn't seemed to make much of a difference. I don't long for connection. I don't really fee like I need it.
It's hard for me to reach out to anyone. I don't even reach out to my sponsor. I need to do that though.
Filters on my devices (except for work computer). No social media.
The way to keep from starting again is to surrender.
I answered all these in my journal.
that I must be involved and stay involved. Taking to others who I can trust and being totally open is huge. Having a society of men who are working the steps and wanting to stay strong in their progress is important to have in my life because that is what I also want.
Being physically involved gets the brain involved which seems to lock it in. Listening to others, activly, gets me involved and also learning to share and help others strenghens me. The more I give is the more I recieve.
I have been reaching out to others daily for over two and a half years and will continue to do so. I will reach out to brothers in recovery who are working the steps even if they have failed but are still trying to keep going and want this junk out of their life just like me.
I do not watch YouTube or Facebook unless my wife is sitting right next to me. I won't check the Weather Channel or any news links online.
He fills the void in us instead of letting other things become the thing that fills the void. By putting Him first and leaning on Him for strengh, other things fall into place.
I didn't realize that I couldn't do it alone, and that finding others who were like me was critical. I certainly see that God helped me in that regards to find SAL
Without it, I stay stuck in my head. Not participating leads to destruction.
I reach out to recovery friends and to God
I need to figure out specific boundaries. I suppose that is my next step.
It means I have to do what is not natural to me. If I wait for the desire to do something prior to doing it, I will never do it.
That we have to stop ourselves and then God makes it so we don't start. We had it backwards.
It gives us an outlet to express our problems, fears, and to know that we are not alone. We need the love and support of others to truly become free. By helping others we help ourselves. We learn new tools form others.
My therapist. I am also trying to find a sponsor.
I hide nothing. I have no secret money source. I have created trigger charts. I check in with my wife nightly.
We turn our will over to God after we have shown Him that we want to stop and need his help.
You can't just become sober in parts of your addiction - you need to cut it out completely.
Accountability and proof of other healing and not feeling alone
Russel - he has been reaching out to me a lot
I have not found a sponsor yet and dont fully understand what a boundary looks like
God has his hand in all things. If we surrender to him, he is able to help and that is his doings
That we have to fellowship and rely on others. This has been something I've wanted to internalize and just "fix it" myself. It's a simple fact that doesn't work.
That's the only way to find lasting sobriety.
My Bishop from my church.
To never hide anything in my phone. Let it be open for my wife and anyone to see. Avoid non-work related contact with female coworkers.
All we can do is stop but we can't heal unless we surrender to God and let the Atonement of Jesus Christ work in our lives. Without this we cannot truly gain sobriety.
Stopping. You can't justify any action when you know it is connected to the problem. You have to stop and work to remain stopped.
I think there is value in being with others who can relate and who can help me on the journey. Understanding will be very beneficial for me.
I need a sponsor. I can reach out to that person and others in a group once I attend a group
I have worked with my therapist to develop a prevention plan to stop thoughts from becoming actions
When we surrender to God, he will strengthen us and we can build a defense against evil
Without fellowship and participation with others, there is no recovery. "We don't try to explain this; it is simply a fact." I pride myself on figuring things out and understanding the why behind something. I appreciate that there isn't a known why to this concept. Puts me in a more humble state.
To get outside of my head, my echo chamber.
I'll reach out to Steve W from the group.
This isn't a concept I know a lot about. But one that I can think of is staying off of youtube. Another would be to not take my phone into the bathroom.
The previous sentence talks about learning how to not start again. I think this statement suggests that it is only through the power of God that we are able to not start again.
You can't stay sober without fellowship. Because addiction thrives on loneliness, when I isolate myself i become anxious, resentful, lonely and this can start the cycle of addiction which will lead to acting out if left unchecked.
Without participation in the meetings there is no recovery, I know that when I share, read, and actively engage myself in the meetings I get way more out of it. Showing up is better then nothing, but recovery requires more then better then nothing.
The program doesnt teach us how to stop it teaches us how to not start again. I think stopping is relatively easy especially after discovery, its being able to learn the tools to prevent from starting again that actually leads to long term recovery.
Because when I participate I get out of my own head, my own feelings of discouragement, it connects me to other men who have gone through their own battle of addiction. These connections I have found greatly bless my life, ive been able to reach out to them during the week. I've been able to get encouragement .
I am commited to reaching out to both Justin Bs, Zack O. Matt Moen, my mom, Griff, each of these people provide a different support.
I dont go on the computer at night, I do a daily AEIOU check in with myself, I deleted all my social media accounts and this has helped me more than anything.
You cannot overcome addiction while still acting out. If I am looking at porn or masturbating or fantasizing then the meetings, the surrender, the step work will be in vain. Sobriety doesn't mean recovery but without sobriety there is no chance at recovery. It is the first step and demonstration to God that I am ready to surrender and it allows me to be open to recovery, but the work starts after I stop. Stopping isn't enough but it is crucial, working the steps is what will keep me from starting after I've stopped.
I need to stay stopped. I like the line that we stop, then god heals us as we recover
It gets me out of myself. It’s keep me honest. It gives me connection to others
Brothers in recovery. Douglas, Jake, others.
I have a list of boundaries that keep me safe. I realize I want to be open and honest if I have triggers or if I am listing. I need to reach out and share with others.
I need to do all I can to stop and surrender to god, and let him take over. He is the power greater then me.
The importance of taking concrete action and making potentially drastic lifestyle changes is the foundation of recovery. You have to be ready to change everything or nothing will change.
Connection is essential to recovery, fellowship through the program is a big part of connection with other brothers in recovery.
Spouse, “sponsee"
Technical barriers, including time limits on devices, black lists, monitored internet history, etc.
Stopping, or beginning to achieve sobriety, is the first step in recovery. Surrender means really, finally being willing to release ourselves of the addiction in any form it might be in. This makes the power of God into something tangible, no longer abstract.
"The measure of your commitment will be the measure of your recovery" I get out exactly what I put in.
I can't do this alone. Connection is the opposite of addiction and so I need to reach out to others and get outside my own head in order to get anything out of the program.
My accountability partner, my SLAA Sponsor, AA Sponsor, and list of friends in the program.
I will not use Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Reddit, Tinder, TikTok, or join any new Discord servers.
I will not search a woman's name, figure, or body part.
I will now bypass my phone's downtime settings or use my computer past 9pm, except to Meditate.
I will get out of bed to my alarm and will not get back into bed until I go to sleep at night.
If I break any of my bottom lines (Mid-lines) I will call someone to tell them within 5 minutes of doing so.
God doesn't just remove our obsession and compulsion through asking him. We have to voluntarily give it up ourselves. It's this act of aligning our will with His that makes surrender work, and allows his power to flow through us. The miracle happens when WE make the decision and choice to give it up and turn our will and our life over to Him.
The part of the reading that's stuck out to me is that we cannot continue to act out and one area and give up our addiction in another. We have to give up addiction altogether.
It's nice to talk to other men who have successfully found ways to have long-term recovery. There's a valuable resource and essential. And it also helps you commit to connect.
I'd have reached out to a few people on our phone list. And that has been helpful.
The boundaries that I have said as I have removed triggering apps and I will not reinstall them. And if I can across a sexually suggestive link or a link that I think may potentially lead me to somewhere triggering. Then I do not click on it.
This statement suggests that no one can stop our addiction. For us, we must stop, and we surrender to God to keep from starting up again.
