I didn't realize that I couldn't do it alone, and that finding others who were like me was critical. I certainly see that God helped me in that regards to find SAL
Without it, I stay stuck in my head. Not participating leads to destruction.
I reach out to recovery friends and to God
I need to figure out specific boundaries. I suppose that is my next step.
It means I have to do what is not natural to me. If I wait for the desire to do something prior to doing it, I will never do it.
That we have to stop ourselves and then God makes it so we don't start. We had it backwards.
It gives us an outlet to express our problems, fears, and to know that we are not alone. We need the love and support of others to truly become free. By helping others we help ourselves. We learn new tools form others.
My therapist. I am also trying to find a sponsor.
I hide nothing. I have no secret money source. I have created trigger charts. I check in with my wife nightly.
We turn our will over to God after we have shown Him that we want to stop and need his help.
You can't just become sober in parts of your addiction - you need to cut it out completely.
Accountability and proof of other healing and not feeling alone
Russel - he has been reaching out to me a lot
I have not found a sponsor yet and dont fully understand what a boundary looks like
God has his hand in all things. If we surrender to him, he is able to help and that is his doings
That we have to fellowship and rely on others. This has been something I've wanted to internalize and just "fix it" myself. It's a simple fact that doesn't work.
That's the only way to find lasting sobriety.
My Bishop from my church.
To never hide anything in my phone. Let it be open for my wife and anyone to see. Avoid non-work related contact with female coworkers.
All we can do is stop but we can't heal unless we surrender to God and let the Atonement of Jesus Christ work in our lives. Without this we cannot truly gain sobriety.
Stopping. You can't justify any action when you know it is connected to the problem. You have to stop and work to remain stopped.
I think there is value in being with others who can relate and who can help me on the journey. Understanding will be very beneficial for me.
I need a sponsor. I can reach out to that person and others in a group once I attend a group
I have worked with my therapist to develop a prevention plan to stop thoughts from becoming actions
When we surrender to God, he will strengthen us and we can build a defense against evil
Without fellowship and participation with others, there is no recovery. "We don't try to explain this; it is simply a fact." I pride myself on figuring things out and understanding the why behind something. I appreciate that there isn't a known why to this concept. Puts me in a more humble state.
To get outside of my head, my echo chamber.
I'll reach out to Steve W from the group.
This isn't a concept I know a lot about. But one that I can think of is staying off of youtube. Another would be to not take my phone into the bathroom.
The previous sentence talks about learning how to not start again. I think this statement suggests that it is only through the power of God that we are able to not start again.
You can't stay sober without fellowship. Because addiction thrives on loneliness, when I isolate myself i become anxious, resentful, lonely and this can start the cycle of addiction which will lead to acting out if left unchecked.
Without participation in the meetings there is no recovery, I know that when I share, read, and actively engage myself in the meetings I get way more out of it. Showing up is better then nothing, but recovery requires more then better then nothing.
The program doesnt teach us how to stop it teaches us how to not start again. I think stopping is relatively easy especially after discovery, its being able to learn the tools to prevent from starting again that actually leads to long term recovery.
Because when I participate I get out of my own head, my own feelings of discouragement, it connects me to other men who have gone through their own battle of addiction. These connections I have found greatly bless my life, ive been able to reach out to them during the week. I've been able to get encouragement .
I am commited to reaching out to both Justin Bs, Zack O. Matt Moen, my mom, Griff, each of these people provide a different support.
I dont go on the computer at night, I do a daily AEIOU check in with myself, I deleted all my social media accounts and this has helped me more than anything.
You cannot overcome addiction while still acting out. If I am looking at porn or masturbating or fantasizing then the meetings, the surrender, the step work will be in vain. Sobriety doesn't mean recovery but without sobriety there is no chance at recovery. It is the first step and demonstration to God that I am ready to surrender and it allows me to be open to recovery, but the work starts after I stop. Stopping isn't enough but it is crucial, working the steps is what will keep me from starting after I've stopped.
I need to stay stopped. I like the line that we stop, then god heals us as we recover
It gets me out of myself. It’s keep me honest. It gives me connection to others
Brothers in recovery. Douglas, Jake, others.
I have a list of boundaries that keep me safe. I realize I want to be open and honest if I have triggers or if I am listing. I need to reach out and share with others.
I need to do all I can to stop and surrender to god, and let him take over. He is the power greater then me.
The importance of taking concrete action and making potentially drastic lifestyle changes is the foundation of recovery. You have to be ready to change everything or nothing will change.
Connection is essential to recovery, fellowship through the program is a big part of connection with other brothers in recovery.
Spouse, “sponsee"
Technical barriers, including time limits on devices, black lists, monitored internet history, etc.
Stopping, or beginning to achieve sobriety, is the first step in recovery. Surrender means really, finally being willing to release ourselves of the addiction in any form it might be in. This makes the power of God into something tangible, no longer abstract.
"The measure of your commitment will be the measure of your recovery" I get out exactly what I put in.
I can't do this alone. Connection is the opposite of addiction and so I need to reach out to others and get outside my own head in order to get anything out of the program.
My accountability partner, my SLAA Sponsor, AA Sponsor, and list of friends in the program.
I will not use Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Reddit, Tinder, TikTok, or join any new Discord servers.
I will not search a woman's name, figure, or body part.
I will now bypass my phone's downtime settings or use my computer past 9pm, except to Meditate.
I will get out of bed to my alarm and will not get back into bed until I go to sleep at night.
If I break any of my bottom lines (Mid-lines) I will call someone to tell them within 5 minutes of doing so.
God doesn't just remove our obsession and compulsion through asking him. We have to voluntarily give it up ourselves. It's this act of aligning our will with His that makes surrender work, and allows his power to flow through us. The miracle happens when WE make the decision and choice to give it up and turn our will and our life over to Him.
The part of the reading that's stuck out to me is that we cannot continue to act out and one area and give up our addiction in another. We have to give up addiction altogether.
It's nice to talk to other men who have successfully found ways to have long-term recovery. There's a valuable resource and essential. And it also helps you commit to connect.
I'd have reached out to a few people on our phone list. And that has been helpful.
The boundaries that I have said as I have removed triggering apps and I will not reinstall them. And if I can across a sexually suggestive link or a link that I think may potentially lead me to somewhere triggering. Then I do not click on it.
This statement suggests that no one can stop our addiction. For us, we must stop, and we surrender to God to keep from starting up again.
We cannot stop our addiction in one area and continue to act out in another area.
Finding people who have gone before and understand what you are going through has been helpful for me. I do feel like connecting with other people is essential.
I have a phone list and a few people that I call. Everyone's in a while and it is helpful.
I have deleted specific apps on my phone That are triggers for me. I have set a boundary not to reinstall those apps. I am also set a boundary not to click on any link. That I suspect could leave me to triggering material.
I believe that this statement means that we have to stop ourselves. And we surrender to God to keep us from starting up again. Nobody can stop our addiction for us.
Fellowship is crucial to my recovery. We must be part of others or we cannot maintain effective surrender, see ourselves rightly, or work the steps. We stop practicing our compulsion in all its forms. The program tells us how to how to keep from starting again.
Relationship is critical to sobriety. Being with others gets us out of our own head.
Other men in my group. Attending my sponsor's small group morning conference call.
Covenant eyes on all my electronic media. Took facebook off my phone. Committed to call someone if I am tempted by lust.
I surrender lust to God in the moment of temptation and he takes the lust away either miraculously or through calling another group member and hearing Gods voice through him.
The part about where it says we have to stop all forms of our addiction and acting out and not feed them either physically, by viewing or touching, or mentally by remembering the lusts and feelings of my addiction. it really clarified foe me the definition of being sober. The other part was where it says we have the numbers of everyone in our group so I can call them and they can call me if needed.
It helps you connect with others who want the same thing I want. it will pull me out of myself and help me fulfill the needs I have been craving for so long.
I will reach our to Steven (my sponsor) and then I will reach out to Rayce, Scott, and Marcus.
I will not take my phone into the bathroom with me. Instead of using my phone to look up porn I will give my sponsor a call or someone else from the group when i feel the urge to act out.
I understand that the Power of God becomes available to me when I show him that I am willing to stop using my agency to act out and instead use it to surrender my will to him and following his will by stopping my acting out.
Sometimes it can take a while to really commit to the program. While to really admit that you need to be there and that you in fact cant do it on your own. Being in your head and alone is what got you to this place now. Not having the support and healthy relationships to lean on when under stress I have formed other ways of coping. Though they served me then as a form to survive, they no longer do anymore and actually bring me lots of stress, distrust, lack of confidence, and pain. Connection is the opposite of addiction.
To overcome feeling like I have a bad person, overcome feeling alone and like I need to hide fro everyone because if they knew me and say me for my flaws I would be along anyway and abandoned. Being able to be seen for who I am will help me let go of these bonds of shame and move into my recovery. The weigh of hiding and living a double life is become unmanageable.
Hopefully be meeting with a therapsit once a week once I get started next week. Also can reach out to some of the other men in the program. I will need to compile a list of who and make sure make those contacts.
I am still currently working on that. I have created bottom lines with my partner but this is something that I still need to do. Made a note in my recovery notebook to get this done this week.
Not really sure. This god aspect is very unfamiliar to me and I will need to keep thinking and working on it. I am not a "god" believer so not sure what that means specifically to me but I will try to stay open minded.
Where it says...
We can't be sober in one area while acting out in another.
I know it takes the whole spirit mind and body to completely heal.
Just by putting yourself in a healing environment will bring some healing.
Todd
My accountability partner.
No Internet on my phone
No television
Guard my eyes every day
Have personal time
Weekly contacts
Instead of wanting everyone to fix my addiction.. if I just stop and let God help me I can do it.
Comparing the cycles, living a lie, being stuck in self-absorbed mode. Relating to a lot of the defects in the circle.
To help me get out of the cycle and move towards a cyle of healing
My wife
I'm putting up barriers to social medial, computer access, etc.
I need to pause, reflect, and surrender myself to God and the process to heal.
"The measure of such commitment will be the measure of your recovery." it's not about being motivated. It's more about commitment. I believe that if I commit myself my level of commitment will equal my level of recovery. The more I commit myself the more my recovery will mean to me.
participation is one measure of my commitment.
some of the people in the Sunday meeting. I also want to contact Chris, and Rick and Mike. One of these days I need to meet with Steve.
nothing yet, but i have been staying away from Pintrest and Instagram.
think before you act. The moment I get triggered, do something about it, like talking to someone and surrendering.
Unable to complete yet. Unclear if "The White Book" is included in the monthly subscirption.
Same principles as "ministering." We learn and grow together and gain strength and insight from one another.
TBD
Avoid late night work and follow regular sleep and exercise routines.
We do all we can and trust in the Lord and His Spirit for the rest with the understanding that we can only succeed by relying on the Lord's help.
The cycle of a need not being met and then becoming preoccupied which then the ritual begins. This happened to me today feeling alone and tired and overwhelmed and a whole bunch of my basic needs just not being met again and then finding myself doing the typical ritual that leads to acting out. When’s Julia, she’s sleeping where can I go and not get caught. Seen it played out over and over
Having someone to trust to speak my truth and get this cycle that plays out out of my head and to surrender it with the support of others who have been successful
Still working on getting a group of support. Currently Dave H. Is my first contact, I’ve got a few others saved in my phone and will work to have 5-7 by the end of the month
Nothing yet. Will make a note to crest these boundaries
Not sure
"Without regular participation in a fellowship, there is no recovery". I have been thinking that I can figure this out by myself, but without a good fellowship of those who can help me, I won't recover.
Because it forces me to make connection, and that helps me see true reality. Connection is the opposite of addiction.
Ryan L
Robbie M
Logan H?
The link is broken.
The link is broken
Today, what stuck out most was the "bring the body and the rest will follow" part. I have experienced this when I go to meetings and hope that feeling only grows with continued attendance.
Because I cannot do this alone. I need to be in fellowship with other addicts to hold myself accountable, to learn from them, and also to heal my pain and shame.
I am committed to reaching out to at least two others each week. I do not know who yet.
Covenant Eyes porn blocking app.
I am writing my dedication to stay porn free every morning.
I am following the Brain Buddy Program.
I am following the Strive 21 day challenge.
If we want to change, the first step has to come from us. If we make that dedication, and truly mean it, then a power greater than ourselves will help us along our path.
I'm not being honest. My honesty is hindering my ability to get out of the addictive cycle.
Connection is king. It also helps me be honest.
Ryan, from group
technology blocks on my devices, but that's it right now.
I don't know what that means...
Did I miss something in the audio?
We stop trying to do it our way. We surrender to God and wish to do his will? Maybe?
Recovery cannot happen without fellowship. I have been resisting this and trying to do it alone.
It helps keep one accountable
Dave G whom I met at a meeting
I have stopped going to certain websites as have removed some apps from my devices
In order to benefit from the program you not only have to stop acting out but you need to give up your obsession to a higher power.
I love that it said recovery cannot happen only, it only happens in fellowship. That is so true to me because I have noticed that I feel so much stronger when I am talking to others about my recovery, I feel so much more aware on my downfalls and I feel more committed to recovery when I am talking to others.
I think it is the fact that addiction thrives in secrecy and dies in honesty and dies in the light. If I have more fellowship, I can bring it to the light and get it out of secrecy and I can kill it.
I just had the thought that I want to reach out to one brother a day in the Sunday night meeting. I think doing one call a day would be great.
I won’t take my phone in the bathroom, I don’t sleep with my phone at night in the same room, and I try to not have access to stuff when I am alone.
We have to make the first step and then let the power of god continue to help us have sobriety day after day
