"Commit yourself to your group."
-- I do this because I am not trustworthy by myself.
"The measure of your commitment will be the measure of your recovery."
-- This really is true. I have seen how effective recovery work can be and has been. It goes along with "half measures avail us nothing." There is no other way. The effort in equals the recovery out. I can not cheat my way to recovery.
"There can be no true recovery from addiction if we allow it to persist in any area, whether in our thinking or in our acting out."
-- This is true. When I have allowed lustful thoughts to hang around I have relapsed, every time. I simply am unable to have any control over lust. I must not even play the game, that's how it is. When I get stuck I take actions to surrender otherwise I will fall back into addictive cycles.
Because it helps me to have people to be accountable to. Yes, this includes my wife, my kids, and myself. However, a group of recovering addicts are very special because they have all felt the things I am feeling. They can't do the work for me but they can offer encouragement, insight, safety, and love. They can guide me to see my insane thinking and call me out on ways I'm trying to escape reality or not taking responsibility.
Zakk R. He is my accountability partner.
No screens after 11 pm
No mindless games
No keeping actions of lust to myself
Surrendering self absorbed feelings until they no longer dominate me
I stop the insanity. I allow God to take over the fight. God will take away the lust if I allow him. This often looks like me calling my sponsor or another recovering brother to surrender. I am unable to stop while being idle. In order for me to stop, I must go ... Go to a meeting, go call a brother, go serve someone else, go study my books. These are the actions of recovery I must take.
When it says to stop in all forms and to get out of our heads and into groups. It sticks with me because sometimes I dread waking up early to hit a meeting or staying up late when I'm tired after work to hit a meeting. So then I end up not going end I relapse or I slack on reading the material. But then when I do go and attend a meeting it makes me feel better and I can't always explain what I feel after but I feel better than I did when I didn't go to a meeting.
I think connection is one of the keys to unlocking lifelong sobriety and peace.
I actually don't have a sponsor but I want to force myself to commit to getting a sponsor and reaching out to guys in the groups I attend.
I have stopped watching porn and masturbating completely. I have deleted all social media platforms. I limit screen time on my phone and TV. I really only watch kids shows these days to avoid any and all sexual/suggestive conent in movies and tv shows.
I understand it as by stopping and surrendering we allow GOd to fill the void we thought we were filling by lusting. We allow Him to guide our thoughts, our actions, our beliefs and He will guide us to prosperity.
Done on 4/27/25 -
That it seems almost no one can get sober and stay sober without associating with other recovering individuals in some
way.
Because in this addiction I feel alone and that im the only one that has this problem. Participating helps to understand
that I am not the only broken person and that through each other we can help strengthen each other.
I dont have a sponsor right now. But I will reach out to Joel and my friend Mindy.
I am still working on setting my boundaries.
For me, its understanding how to turn my will to the lord. And being able to let him take it from me. And allowing him
into my life to help me in this path.
That I cannot get very far in achieving sobriety on my own. With out the hope and stories of others I feel trapped inside of my head and unable to connect. Being at meetings on time and helping in anyway will bring me out into reality. And speaking out my secrets and things I'm struggling with inside my head cuts down the street is has on me significantly.
Because staying inside and alone will grow my addiction. Helping and hearing others will bring me out from myself into a place with others.
Bill
Wes
Dennis
No nude images
Report lust of provocative images
We continue to put our surrender into God's hands and he will lift us from the burden.
Regular participation in the group meetings /fellowship.
Commitment to regular attendance.
Others t;hat I have made contact with in hte grou.
No use of Facebook or other social media platforms.
We must allow God to take charge of our wrongful actions and thoughts.
One part that stuck out to me was that there was the first step of simply showing up, and how important that step is. Enough to say, the other steps don't matter, just show up. I also found that it was very interesting that it focused so much on participating in set up of, the process of and different parts of the meeting. Being connected and being involved leads to growth connection and better understanding. I want to commit myself to a deeper level of involvement in the meetings in all the ways that I can.
I think it is essential to participate in the fellowship of the program because, it creates real connection. As of now, I have shown up, it is a great feeling to be there, and I leave and then I am simply waiting to go back to another meeting, when it doesn't have to be like that. The point of the meetings are to connect with people who are just as devoted to recovery as you are, that doesn't mean you can't go talk about your recovery over lunch or out at an event together.
I am committed to making contacts with various people throughout the week. I want to reach out to many different people, find those that I feel will be best for me to reach out to, and create a accountability group for me to turn to in times of need.
I have told him my daily actions I want to take, some goals that I have had in mind, and will continue to communicate with him throughout the weeks about what progressive victory looks like for me that week. I want to set attainable goals for me to meet, and have my sponsor and others there to help me live up to them.
To me it means that all this time we have been asking god to make us stop, help us stop, and purify us, yet that is not how it works. No unclean thing can enter into the presence of god. In so, when we are actively pursuing a life of filth, god is not able to bless us in the way that we need. There is a scripture or saying I cant remember which that says if a son asks a father for a fish, would ye give them a serpent? If ye can imagine the good that man has for his son, imagine the good that heavenly father has for us in his blessings. God knows that a man can not live in recovery while acting out, that a man can not be both in a state of recovery and addiction. Therefore, god asks that we now stop, then surrender our addiction to him. Once we have stopped, we can turn to him in strength. He has much strength to give us in recovery, and he can not convince a man in addiction to step out of it unwillingly.
The need for connection the need for others something I truly missed didn’t know I was missing it, but I did
Having support knowing others are facing the same trials it’s wonderful
Steve Grant make a call every day
Don’t endlessly scroll don’t take my phone in the bathroom. Don’t watch TV without my family.
Rendering to God, I can feel his love his will see what I need to do to be a bit better
The importance of fellowship. Addiction thrives in secrecy. Having others to share with is crucial to recovery.
We need to share our story. We need others who understand and have empathy. We not in this fight alone.
My Bishop and my friends in the fellowship.
I have boundaries on electronic devices. I have to place my mental health first.
It’s only when we surrender ourselves to God that we can begin the process of recovery.
The program doesn't tell us how to stop-we had done that a thousand and one times-it shows us how to keep from starting again. We had it backwards; before, we always wanted the therapist, spouse, or God to do the stopping for us-to fix us. Now, we stop; and then, in our surrender, the power of God becomes effective in us.
This passage was most impactful to me. I can relate to the feeling of looking for those around me to help me stop the madness of my addiction. The most egregious was my wife. I asked her to do many things outside her comfort level to satisfy my sexual fantasies. This is one thing of many things that I deeply regret.
It works when you work it. GOD WILL BLESS YOUR EFFORTS!!!
I will reach out to at least one brother in recovery every day.
First of all I will honor my wife’s boundaries.
My specific boundaries are:
No phone use in bathroom
No using Social Media
24 hour notice of relapse
Digital transparency and monitoring
12 step group meetings
Finance sharing
Therapy
No reaching out to past acquaintances
In my surrender my I am giving the power of my addiction to God and he will give me the power to overcome addiction.
There was a part that talked about committing myself to the group and how this ensures the maximum benefit for me and the group. I think that stuck out because not only can I benefit from the group, but others can while I'm there as well. But not just benefit, get the maximum benefits. In the past I've just kind of often attended group but not been super invested, so I got benefits but not as much as I could have.
It also talks about how we need each other, and I've never been really good at allowing myself to need others. So just thinking about that and that it's something I need to work on. Need to work on being okay with and accepting that I can't do this alone.
If I'm not participating, am I getting all I can out of the group? If I'm not being part of the fellowship, am I still just trying to go it alone? I think that doing more than just going to group is necessary. Obviously going to group is important and being able to learn and hear from others really helps. But that's just one day of the week. What about the other 6 days? And this is where I need to participate fully in the fellowship and reach out to others every day.
I need to make a list of all the people that I've kind of connected with as I've attended group and I feel most comfortable with reaching out to. I've really felt a good connection with Bill K and have reached out to him and will continue to reach out to him every week. I have a brother who has gone through a lot of this process and is very supportive, so I'll commit to reaching out to him once a week. And I'll come up with some others as well.
I haven't put any specific boundaries in place so this is something for me and my sponsor to talk about. I will also talk with my therapist about it and come up with some things.
In my own experience, when I'm stuck in the addiction, nothing good can happen. If I'm not stopped at all, I won't make progress. I don't make room for God to work with me. He is trying all the time I know, but it won't be effective unless I allow him in. And I can't do that while I'm so stuck in myself and my lust. I leave no room for him or anybody else to help me.
The part that stuck out to me the most was the part about STOPing completely. "I can be masturbating to the image of a blank wall, and I'm still resorting to my drug." When I masturbated at work I always thought about two things. either my wife or the thought of pleasing myself. When I recorded myself however I got even more off of that. Masturbating in public and doing it for the. thrill of it is my drug. This new desire to be sober and stay sober feels so good right now. i know it will be harder later on down the line but I'm truly committed to this. Not committed like my gym app or my calorie counting app but actually committed this time.
I think its crucal becomes it gives us people in recovery a place to talk, heal, and stay sober. Its a place thats inviting a safe.
I really want to attend my first SAL meeting today its a friday night at they're scheduled to meet at 2100 but I have a snowboarding trip tommorrow. I'm going to try today but if not today then next Tuesday, Yiseth's birthday.
I have set up boundaries by deleting the Tik Tok app. Something I notioceed constanly and what made me always go back to acting out was when it prompted me by showing me videos of horses urinating, having sex, or when it showed me a video about a new sex position I should try. Its disgusting!! That was something that always triggered me to act out and masturbate. I'm glad I deleted it.
Now that I have stopped I need to surrender all my worries and doubts that I can't stay sober all to God. With him anything is possible. By staying sober and trusting in him to help in my healing journey even when it becomes hard is essential. By healing myself I can share my experience and help others. This in turn will help allow God to work through me. I ask that all the time. "God lead me down the right path that you want me to" let me essintialy be your hands and feet and share the good news. I'm sober now 13 days and I'm ready to see that number grow.
With this addiction we need to exhaust all resources. if there isn't a group near you, make one. if you think you can do it on your own, you cant.
associating with other recovering individuals as the book says, it allows us to truly start our own recovery. the felllowship of the program allows us and others to be accountable to ourselves and other individuals.
my girlfriend. others in the group
I have removed all forms of social media from my phone. I am not strong enough to have that on my phone anymore
we must choose to eradicate lust in all forms in our life. we stop this, and by doing so, we truly allow God, our spouse and ourselves help to effect our lives.
This is progressive. It requires time and input.
It is essential. I need witnesses and help. The perspectives I gain from others are absolutely necessary. It helps me to understand.
I reach out to someone every day during the week. Right now, I have developed a group of individuals that I reach out to every day except Saturday. It has become consistent and I am really grateful for my brothers.
Daily meeting, daily phone call, daily recovery work, daily scripture study, daily prayer, daily journal, no surfing the internet without a purpose, no reels ever.
I understand that it takes effort and willingness to take a step. Once the step is taken, to maintain sobriety, surrender to God becomes increasingly important. Then his power becomes relevant.
I can't do this alone. Stopping is not the problem (I have stopped a million times). It's not starting again that I have not been able to do. The program doesn't teach me how to stop, it teaches me how to not start again.
Connection and vulnerability are crucial to my recovery. I cannot recover in isolation.
I have developed amazing friendships and found brotherhood in the rooms of recovery. I love reaching out to my brothers in recovery and want to do that more and more.
I have several top lines and bottom lines, but the main boundary is that when I feel deregulated and off, I will connect with God and go through the surrender process.
I must give up to win. It is only when I really surrender to God that I can succeed. My will and understanding alone will never result in my ultimate happiness. It is only when my will aligns with God's will when I can experience true joy.
I like where it says "without associating with other recovering individuals, there is no lasting sobriety". It might as well say point blank: "You can't make it on your own. You need the support of others in recovery." I like this because it reminds me of what I have always felt and known about spiritual commitment. That is, we can't be strong on our own. Together we are like a mass of burning embers... When we stay together we all burn hot and bright, but take one glowing coal away from the others and it will soon go out.
I have come to know for myself that connection with others (and connection with God) is the difference between success and failure. I have tried a thousand times, maybe more, to make real progress and gain power over my addiction, but it never has worked until now, and the only difference now is connection. When I am connecting with others and feel accountable to them, I find the strength to turn away. Participation is an essential step in "working the program".
I am going to reach out to make an effort to reach out to Tyler C, Ben A, Rich E, and Rich N. I think I am also going to try to reach out to one or two brothers I haven't spoken with on a call before.
The 'specific boundaries' link above doesn' work and this isn't a topic I've learned about. I can imagine, though, that these are what I have always called "guard rails" in my life -- specific things I commit to doing or not doing in order to stay strong against addiction. I am going to think through this, make my list, share it with my sponsor, and then keep it in a place where I can review it often.
Prior to this effort at recovery, I always hoped that someone or something outside myself--God, a sponsor, my wife, my bishop, or other brothers in recovery--would help me stop my addiction. Now I realize I had to take that step on my own, I had to stop acting out, and now God will help me not start again. I had to take a first step of faith and now God will honor that faith by carrying me forward, as long as I continue to demonstrate my faith by working the program.
The fact that we need each other to strengthen and to help each other build the necessary coping mechanisms to get out of this.
it fosters an honest enviroment where I can be vulnerable and feel comfortable sharing with others around me.
My brother
No phone after 9 pm, and charge it away from my bed.
We need both to stop this habit and addiction, I have stopped many times but need help in surrendering.
How participating in groups gets me out of my head. I noticed today that I've been attending meetings in body only. Today's meeting was the first time for me to really listen and engage in awhile, and it felt good.
The fellowship of the program has taught me what true friendship looks like. Being there for each other without judgement. Being there for each other in complete vulnerability and transparency.
Dusty, Brandon, Andrew, Nikitas, Lyman, Logan, Tyler, Nathan.
No more Facebook. Only News briefly in the morning. Sharp restrictions on movies/shows that show any form of lust.
I can "stop" temporarily. But only God can make it last.
The necessity of participation in the group. I had learned this before, but I have not been rigorous about it. Perhaps, feeling like it is something I already knew, I am not placing appropriate emphasis on it.
Connection with others who understand is essential. Drawing on their strength and hope is sustaining. It gets me out of my head.
I have not yet gotten a sponsor. This was the week I had planned to do this as I have had time off for spring break. However, I have spent more time with family which is good, but has also been an excuse to not put in the recovery work that I need to. I do have a short list of members from the group who I need to reach out to.
I have thought about boundraries but have not yet put any in plalce. I have been coasting pretty well the past couple months on the initial emotional high of coming clean, but I know from experience that this will not last.
By stopping, and turning my will over to God, I let Him take control. Allowing Him to make the decisions, His power is able to have force in my life.
This idea that I have to choose to stop. I haven’t been choosing that recently and I really want to.
It gets me out of myself
I have been committed to calling lots of guys in my DS group, but I haven’t. I am recommitting to getting that daily call going again.
* Multi-tasking: I will not multi-task on a phone or computer durning meetings (work, church) or during conversations.
* Lunch: I will take a min. 30 minute lunch break at work. If I need to adjust this I will inform my wife.
* News: I will not research sports news or other news while at work or church.
* Phone in bathroom: I will not use my phone in the bathroom. It will remain in my pocket or outside.
I understand that the initial choice has to be mine. I have to intentionally let it go. After that, I turn my life over to God and let Him make the change that keeps me sober because I can’t do that on my own.
There is no sobriety or recovery without participating in groups with others. I can't be sober in one area while acting out in another. I surrender each new addiction I become aware of as they unfold.
It's important to be honest with others, to not hold in the secrets, to have accountability, to enjoy the connection with others, to create friendships, to hear the struggles and successes of others, to not feel alone, to stay committed.
I have a long list of people to reach out to. I do my best to make daily outreach calls.
I have made many lists over the years, but I do not have a specific list right now. I need to self-evaluate and update that list. That is something I will do today.
Without sobriety I cannot have the connection with God that I need. Without completely surrendering my will, I will have my will, and God's will won't be with me. Stopping and surrendering will allow me to do and live in God's will, which will bring true recovery, peace, and surrenity.
Group work is what is needed for connection
connection is a key part in recovery
My wife and find somebody else.
No you tube at work
check in with wife
only when we surrender do we achieve the power of God to over come
the need to associate with recovering individuals
stop feeding the lust through the eyes, the memory and the fantasy
getting out of our self and into the real world
getting help from others who have walked the same path
connecting with others
being there for each other
other brothers in my online groups
bottom lines and boundaries discussed with sponsor
Instead of believing someone could help us stop or we could stop on our own, we stop and surrender
then by surrendering our will, our higher power can work in our lives
the need to associate with recovering individuals
stop feeding the lust through the eyes, the memory and the fantasy
getting out of ourself and into the real world
getting help from others who have walked the same path
connecting with others
being there for each other
other brothers in my online groups
bottom lines and boundaries discussed with sponsor
Instead of believing someone could help us stop or we could stop on our own, we stop and surrender
then by surrendering our will, our higher power can work in our lives
