Men’s Intro Questions

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Yes. Looking forward to get started and to learning more about the program and steps. I know that the program has helped a ton of people that have similar struggles and weaknesses to mine and I have confidence that it can help me too. I am also feeling nervous. One of my weaknesses is being able to share my thoughts and feelings, particularly in a group setting. I know that is a huge part of this program.

I hope to gain additional understanding, tools, knowledge, and training to help me overcome my addiction. Most of all, I hope for a change of heart and mind so that I know longer want anything to do with pornography.

Over the last week i have learned a tremendous amount about addiction.

I have worked the steps a few times but need to keep working them in my life. I am healthier and happier when I am working the steps.

I hope I get to a more balanced emotional place where I don't need to seek comfort and security from my addiction any longer.

I am afraid I won't be able to fully let go of my self-medicating tendencies and desires to use my addictions to escape reality and numb out of emotional pain.

I think it helps me see the world in a healthier way and let go of the security blanket addiction

I am now, but I will want to take it back later today and will have to keep working on my willingness

Recovery is an ongoing process and I will keep working on it every day.

All my addictive patterns

Yes. I know there is not lasting sobriety with meetings, therapy, a sponsor, and working the steps

The chains of addiction will be loosed

That I'll get complacent

Keep recovery fresh in my mind. Renew my commitment on a daily basis.

My life is truly unmanageable. I feel like a wrecking ball and my life is a condemned building.

I have a sponsor and I'm seeing a CSAT.

Guilt, shame, self hatred

I am looking forward to working the steps. I am ready to leave the old me in the past and walk the path of recovery.

I hope that I become more aware of my surroundings and that I can show to myself and the people closest to me the true me. I know I am a caring person but I have not been acting like that for many years.

I am afraid of hurting the people closest to me. I am afraid of relapsing. I am afraid of becoming complacent in the changes I have made and hurt my partner. I am afraid of not communicating honestly with my wife.

I feel it will work, I have faith it will work. Seeing my brothers in the meetings and working with my therapist I know the steps will work. Day to day will always be difficult; I am an addict; I am powerless.

I have ruined my marriage without really knowing if we can repair it. I have ruined my life with my addiction and my lying. I hurt my wife in a way that I NEVER wanted to. I sent her to a place where it is dangerous for her.

This is life or death for me. I can’t lose my wife, I love her and she is the most important person in my life and I lost sight of that for the last time.

Whatever I need. Smoking, drinking, lying, shame, everything I am willing to let go. Nothing is more important to me than recovery and saving my marriage.

Yes, I'm ready to move on from Porn being this weight in my life. I'm tired of the constant struggle with it and the effect it has on my otherwise perfect relationship. I've been through numerous periods of "sobriety" but never had a sustained long period other than 1 time after counseling. I want to end this and have the tools to stay sober. I may be not looking forward to the awkwardness of having to express my emotions in general, I'm somewhat of a shy guy and struggle with expressing my emotions. Seem to be tied to a dopamine response and I can shut down when things get tough or when I'm in that fight or flight mode.

I hope that by working the steps, one day at a time, I can stay focused on my recovery. I hope to find real connection that I haven't experienced before without porn in my life.

Things get real and get ugly. Digging up my history with porn from my childhood and having to re-live some of those experiences. Having hard conversations with my wife along the way.

I fell it gives me a path, it has potholes and ditches. I want to stay on the path, deal with the pot holes and avoid the ditches as best as I can. In good weather and bad. I've had some good experiences in the group and program that I'd like to dive into fully and give myself to the 12 steps and to god.

Yes. I haven't been a particularly spiritual person, but going through this program and going through the death of my father in law at the same time has opened my heart up to the spiritual realm in ways I haven't experienced before. I've felt like I always wanted to be good, but didn't have the mentorship or guidance from adults or god earlier in my life. But, it's never to late to find god and I feel like I'm on that path and would like to explore it more.

I'll get me a sponsor, work the steps daily, so I can truly experience a life in recovery. I won't let anything hold me back and it's the most important thing I need to do right now.

I'm willing to leave behind my porn, leave behind lust that leads to porn, leave behind the lies and deception, leave behind the worrying, fear and everything else that makes me feel like I'm a shitty person.

Yes, I'm looking forward to working the steps. I want to learn what is needed to have God at my center and to learn how to have God take away my addictive behaviors.

I hope to learn to be in long-term recovery and to do so one day at a time. I also hope that God will take away my addictive behaviors.

I'm afraid that I might stop working recovery or that I will have a hard time making the time and commitment to it and that I will go back to my addictive behaviors.

I have seen it work for others in the program. And I have felt that the materials and the process are inspired as I've begun to read and study the materials and work the process each day in my own life.

Yes. Because I now have more knowledge, as I've become familiar with SAL and the 12-step process, and I've made a commitment to my wife and family, and I've opened up to several people and don't want to let them down or myself down. I also feel empowered by my 12-step group, my therapist, and other friends and family members who want me to succeed and have offered help.

I am ready to show up to meetings, I'm ready to go to therapy, I'm ready to do the steps. I've wanted to stop for a long time and just didn't have the resources or desire to stop. I feel much happier when I'm sober and free of guilt and shame caused by my addiction.

Lusting after women, objectifying women, fantasizing about women, viewing pornography, masturbating, lusting after women, objectifying women, poor sleeping habits, poor eating habits, poor spending habits, anger, pride, control, shyness, being reserved, lying, denial in its many forms, shame.

I am and I'm not at the same time. I am looking forward to moving forward in my life and getting past my addiction, but I know it will be difficult, and a lot of work. And I'm lazy

I hope to come to a better understanding of myself and why I have these behaviors, and how to prevent them from continuing

I am afraid people will judge me, my wife will look at me differently, fall out of love with me etc.

If I make small, consistent progress, I should be able to handle a bit at a time without getting overwhelmed and hopefully stick with it long term.

I am ready to become the person that I have wanted to be for a long time. I am ready to take the actions to change.

Consistency and buy in. Trusting the process and follow through.

Shame. Loneliness. Character defects. Lying. Ego. Lusting. Not listening to my wife. Or buying her nice gifts.

Yes. I have already read the blue book and most of the white group. The education I have received has been very helpful. I am anxious to get going on the steps.

By working the steps, participating weekly in a group meeting, and with the help of a therapist, I want to get to the roots of my addiction so that I can go beyond sobriety and into recovery.

I know I will have ups and downs. My fear is that I will get discouraged and depressed about my downs and will fall back into old bad habits.

I have doing daily work on the steps for 3 weeks now. I believe it is essential to do some work each day to keep the principles in mind and to enable my momentum to build.

Yes. I have struggled with my addiction for 45 years. I wish I had done something long ago (working with a therapist, for example), so that the damage of my addiction on me and my family could have been prevented or, at least, minimized.

I now have the tools to work with. I am willing to do whatever it takes to recover and help my wife and children by making amends at the right time.

Pornography, addict behaviors, surfing the internet, spending time doing puzzles.

I am but I am unsure how to effectively work through them. But I am hopeful that these steps will help me in my recovery from my addiction to lust using pornography and masturbation as my main forms of acting out.

I hope to live a life of sobriety and change and become a better man who can overcome lust and act out using pornography and masturbation.

I am afraid that I will not get the help and support that I need.

I feel that I have tried many different things for recovery so I feel working these steps will help as they have helped many other men remain sober and deepened their path towards recovery.

I am and I have tried to pray and ask God to help me with my addiction and to take away my character defects that make me struggle. I have thought I could do this on my own and have finally humbled myself and will strive to rely on God.

I will attend SAL meetins, study SA material and study things that can help me in my recovery and marriage. Before I was causal in my effort but I feel a great momentum this time around and want to do everything I can to overcome my addiction.

Call men from SA to connect and be regirously honest even if it hurts or is very uncomfortable my new normal will be living a honest life.

Yes I am, been working my SAL program almost 3 years and excited to start this curriculum

To get additional knowledge about working the steps so I can eventually sponsor, confidently.

I don’t have any fear about getting uncomfortable, I am living in the promises already.

I feel that working the program daily will work for me.

YES I AM! Why now, in joining the curriculum now is because i am a moderator and received 60% off, I live on a budget and now I can use this program because its on a discount.

I enjoy “homework” and I enjoy taking instructions…. It’s like going back to school for my soul.

My old ideas about what I thought I knew from others opinions on myself.

Yes and no. On the one hand, I'm excited to have a structured program for working the 12 steps. I need that structure, and it will help me stay focused and motivated. On the other hand, I'm a little afraid to start this journey. I have too much evidence from my life of failing to keep commitments to myself and others. I have started many therapy programs before that I never stuck to. I worry this will just result in another failure. I hope this time will be different. I NEED this time to be different.

That I discover something that I never discovered before in all my years of therapy. That I get at the ROOT of my issues. That I find the keys to lasting, sustained change. And by "change", I don't just want to change my behavior (i.e. sobriety), I want to change my heart and my mind. I want to rewire my brain. I want to become a more loving, outward person. I want to become the best version of myself. I want to discover the person God intended me to be.

Multiple things.
For one thing, as I mentioned above, I'm afraid I will lose focus and fail to follow through - AGAIN. I'm afraid this will be yet another evidence that I'm a failure.

On the other hand, I'm afraid that even if I fully commit and dig in and do the work, that I'll find at the end of it that it didn't actually result in lasting change. I'm afraid that I'll discover that my problems are too deep to be fixed by this program. That would be evidence that I can never change.

I'm also afraid that, even if I am able to change my behavior, that it will feel like I'm "starving" for the rest of my life. I'm afraid the hunger, the craving, the lust will never go away, and therefore I will never be satisfied. I'm afraid that a life of sobriety will feel like giving up all delicious food and living off celery for the rest of my life. Like I will never be able to be satisfied. I fear that I will discover that sobriety really is less fulfilling than acting out.

On the one hand, I worry that a daily commitment might be too much for me. I already have a lot on my plate everyday. Can I realistically carve out time EVERY DAY to work on this?

On the other hand, I think that doing a little bit every day is likely to be more sustainable than doing big bursts on an infrequent basis. I HOPE that I can find a sustainable routine. Just enough each day to keep me moving forward. I also hope that such a daily pattern will actually be more effective at helping drive lasting change. I hope it will help me stay focused each day and prevent me from drifting too much.

Yes. I am SO TIRED of this still being in my life. I want to finally be done. I NEED to finally be done. I truly want to discover what life is like on the other side. A consecrated life. A life on the "covenant path." A life of freedom. And (hopefully) a life of JOY. That is the promise of the Atonement. I want to discover that it is true for my life.

1- Daily routines. Committing to do a little bit every day, and establishing a routine/schedule that will make that possible.
2- Daily accountability. Checking in/reporting to my accountability partners.
3- Open/honest communication with my wife, Brooke.
4- Weekly accountability (via group meetings and reports to my therapist, bishop, and accountability partner).

1- Letting Work be the most important thing. I'm willing to do my recovery work BEFORE I do work. I'm also willing to shut things down consistently at the end of the day to be home with family and follow my routines. That means I need to be willing to leave things undone. I need to be okay with doing just "enough".
2- Dishonesty. Specifically, I want to get to a place where I no longer am hiding ANYTHING from Brooke. I want to have a proactively open, honest relationship.
3- Diversions/distractions. Anything that keeps me from doing this work. Specifically: (a) Work [as stated above]; (b) Staying up late; (c) Any other hobby/pastime or diversion that is taking up too much time.
4- CONVENIENCE. I'm willing to sacrifice certain "freedoms" that "normal people" are able to enjoy in order to maintain my bottom lines. For example: (a) Going in stores alone; (b) browsers/apps/access on my phone or computer; (c) Forms of entertainment that others might be able to enjoy [YouTube, etc.]

Yes, it’s been a whirlwind realizing what I’ve done and coming to grips with.

To recalibrate my mental cognitive awareness and to be able to become who I need to.

I fix myself and lose my bride.

It will work it’s going to take planning and adjusting to be successful

Yes, it is the only way that I’m going to overcome this. It’s time for me to become better.

I truly want to stop hurting myself and my wife. I’ve hated myself for awhile and it’s all came out and it’s a chance for a new me.

I’ve already shutoff all social media on my phone as my phone holds the triggers for me. When my wife triggers me having the social media on my phone allowed me to slip.

Yes. My recovery from this addiction is the most important thing in my life.

A strengthening of my connection with God and to my wife.

I have nothing to lose.

It will work for me because it will become a habit of working steps everyday and to keep my recovery in my mind throughout the day.

Due to my situation I have found that all I can do is surrender my life to God.

I've been going to meetings for 8 months but have never really worked the steps. I am determined to do everything for my recovery

I will leave behind pornagraphy, masterbation, and lust. I will also create new habit to cope with the feelings that drive me to those actions.

Yes, I am looking forward to working the steps even if it forces me out of my comfort zone in some situations.

I am able to heal and reframe my mind and free myself of this addiction.

Having to open closed doors in terms of making amends.

I need structure and attainable daily goals to keep me invested.

I’m not ready. It’s been my crutch for the longest. But it is the right thing to do.

I will not intentionally look for loop holes and shortcuts.

Outlets that trigger me into watching or participating in my addiction. Social media, internet, etc. Avoiding toxic acquaintances that can influence me into relapsing.

yes, kind of, maybe.

I'm hopefull that breaking things down into smaller pieces will help me keep some daily consistency.

I'm afraid I won't see progress or will see some and then relapse and lose hope.

hope it will help with daily (small step) consistency

I want to, but am not sure.

I know it's possible (previous sobriety), and it's a different program. But I do need to find a sponsor.

hopefully pride & shame.

yes i am looking forward to it. i want to change the way i am as a person

i fundamentally change the way i approach life

failure. its always failure and rejection

i have to try it, i have tried other things and have not achieved serenity

i am ready. because i am 41 and life is short.

accountability and transparency

my addiction and the need for it.

Well lets say I'm feeling a little mroe comfortable than I have in the past, but still not that comfortable. I'm uncomfortable talking to people normally, let alone about things I've done wrong and have tried to keep hidden. On the other hand I know being closer to God is a higher way of life and will be better all around.

I hope I become really close to God. I help some bad things about me melt away. I hope I become aware of flaws and defects I'm ignorant of right now. I hope I learn how to pray powerfully. I hope that I'll be less afraid to connect to people.

The main thing I'm worried about is being uncomfortable and full of shame. I'm afriad my wife will be hurt when I tell her more about my problems.

It will probs work because I'm a man that loves routine.

I think so. I've already started the process.

Humilty, Honesty, Relying on God. Never thinking I'm done.

I'm willing to surrender my right to privacy about my acting out.
I'm willing to surrender my need to look good to others.
I'm willing to surrender my pride.
I'm willin got surrender my will to God.

I guess a combination of yes and no. I want to make changes in my life to not have the desire for porn and lust. I want to find the spirit and purpose in my life.

i think parts may be hard though

I hope to Find the spirit in my life and Find joy and happiness

Bring up difficult feelings.
Relapse

I think having this will help as a guide to work it.

I want more in my life, a good relationship, God, more drive, confidence

This program, the community

Porn shame guilt, anxiety, fear,

Yes so I can treat my family and myself with the respect I should

I become more open and honest with my spouse

I will manipulate myself into thinking my behavior isn’t wrong which turns into me manipulating my spouse

I feel it will keep me honest to working the steps

Yes so I don’t repeat my behavior

It’s not only for my spouse it’s for me

Dishonesty

I am looking forward to certain aspects. I realize more and more that my addiction controls certain aspects of my life that I want to take back over. I am not looking forward to it because admitting my faults is not easy at times. Admitting them and fixing them is even more difficult.

I am hoping that working the steps will help me to become a better father, husband, and man.

I am afraid that I will get lost in the steps and "backslide". I am hoping to stay consistent with the steps and not let other life events get in the way of my growth towards recovery.

As stated above, I worry that I will let some of the day to day happenings of my life get in the way of completing the steps.

I am not a practicing Christian. I believe in God and think that there is a Higher Power most of the time. Why now? I have hit a fork in the road in my life as a man, husband, and father. If i do not work on my recovery I will not live up to the values I have in those aspects.

Seeking help and being honest with myself and others.

Anything that works. It will be very difficult, because there are many practices that I involve myself in now that I know I will have to leave behind.

Yes. I want this to work and to help me

I become a better person. I become less tempted as I continue.

Waste of money and time

I don’t even know what this really is yet. I hope it works

Yes. Why not now.

There will be more effort.

Yes

I am looking forward to doing step work. I feel like I finally have a clear path on how I can effectively live in recovery. I've tried so many times to change my ways, but for the first time I have absolute hope in the program, myself, and my Savior.

I'm hoping to finally see my life and actions for what they really are. Working the steps and identifying my actions, character defects, and so many selfish behavior. Not only identifying them, but surrendering them to another. I hope to become humble, submissive, and build connection with myself and others. I hope to learn healthy coping skills to so I can live a healthy and happy life.

I'm afraid of discovering things about me that I never wanted to see. Things that I hoped nobody would ever know about me. I'm also afraid of taking my foot off the gas one day, not giving this everything i've got. I'm scared of getting complacent.

I am not. There are many things I do not wish to change about myself, though I have a desire to stop lusting I am fearful about what lies underneath

As painful as it will be, I’m hoping to get to the root of the problem. The why do I need this?

I’ll lose the desire to lust, which has been a major crutch in my life

I do not know that it needs to be worked everyday, but if not worked regularly I would surely slip back into relapse

I think I am ready, well ready to begin the journey. I have a lot more lust to let go off before I’m there but I’m willing to being the journey. I want to serve a mission and so starting true recovery will be a major blessing to my life and to my beautiful wife and future children

I will remember that the man I want to be is not the nan I have been previously. To do so I must submit myself fully to this program of recovery

I’m willing to let go of lust, and the roots of the problem

Yes - I’ve seen miracles from working them already and want to continue to experience miracles!
No- it’s tough and it hurts and it is scary.

Fear of myself and the addiction and recovery work will go away. I’ll gain skills and confidence and hope and whatever else needed to overcome addiction day to day.

I’ll face my fears. I’ll have to think about what I’ve done and tell other people. I’ll have to reach out to and talk openly with other people, seek help, and be very open and honest.

I feel like it needs to - it works when I work it, and I want it to work every day. It’s tough, but I need to prioritize it. That is my only option for recovery.

Yes, and I show that when I work the steps. When I choose not to work them, I choose to hold on to my addiction.

I’ll surrender, I’ll turn to God and to the group, and I’ll keep working day by day. I’ll not get lazy. I’ll monitor and check in frequently

Pride, desire to isolate, desire to hide, fear of communication and openness. Desire to manipulate and control others

I am using my own journal to answer these questions.