Men’s Intro Questions

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Since learning about the steps - I truly am anxious and excited to work the steps. I see how they can help lead to lasting recovery and repentance. Becoming someone new!

I hope to become a new creature as I find new ways to think and address the real core issues in my life (the engine not just the check engine light). I hope to find recovery and peace!

Now that I've disclosed to my wife - frankly I'm afraid that she will leave me. However, I know that it's no longer an option to go back and the only path is forward.

By small and simple things great things are brought to pass. Small changes made over a long period of time compound into great changes.

Yes!!! I am powerless and only the God of my understanding can restore me to sanity! The time is now. I'm committed to finding recovery through God.

Resources! I was shown SAL, the literature, and I have a qualified therapist. I can no longer live the old way. Forward is the only path of life.

I'm willing to work these steps with a sponsor - asking for help is something new to me.

Yes.
I’m at the final straw for myself and my family.

I’ve never worked the steps officially and daily. And having a sponsor for accountability is huge

Secrecy, shame, guilt, every form of dishonesty, isolation, sorrow, being numb emotionally, mental anguish, not being in control, hiding from God, lack of desire

Yes, I have been wanting to redo my steps for a while now and I've felt that I've not been very purposeful with what I study lately.

The steps will give me a foundation to build on again and will help me build my relationship with myself, others and God again.

I will not be good enough and i will be afraid that I am actually not doing as good as I think I am.

It has worked before and continues to work now. I want to give myself the actual structure of working the steps again.

Yes! I want to continue to work on my character defects and I want to be better at turning them over to God, which also includes my lust.

I want to have more of a focus on my defects of character and how I can apply these steps to help me in daily living.

Anything!

Yes and no, I am looking forward to overcome my addiction and I have already made progress in not acting out, but I tend to do thing on my own and just fight through issues so I’m not looking forward to letting other people know about my problems.

I hope that I am not tempted to act out near as much and that life just becomes easier.

That I will fail, that’s I won’t recover and fall into a worse place than where I was.

It will force me to make the habit of doing something about my addiction, not just read or journal when it’s convenient.

Yes, I’m tired of hiding and running away from the problem. I want to have a stronger relationship with my soon to be wife and put this behind us.

I am actually doing something about it and there are real consequences if I don’t change.

I have already stoped using social media because it is full of triggers and I want to leave behind the guilt and shame that I’ve been carrying around for so long.

Yes I am. I am looking foward to changing my attitude and beliefs and hopefully changing my behaviors and relationships with my family and friends.

I hope to see where I have beliefs that don't serve me and hope to lose the desire to use lust and resentment to feel better about myself. I hope to gain confidence in myself and trust in my Higher Power. I hope I can create a relationship with God and learn to depend on His grace and power to overcome life's challenges instead of going my own way and struggling.

I am afraid that I will not change or that i'm incapable of change. or that my core trauma and core beliefs are too strongly and deeply ingrained that I won't be able to make the changes necessary. I'm afraid I'll lose my family before I can make enough changes.

I think that this has a better shot than anything I've tried in the past because it offers me consistency and structure. I Don't know if it'll work for me but I hope I give it a shot and stay consistent to the program. I also hope I can be fully honest as I work the steps.

I felt like I was ready a few months ago when I was living by myself. Now moving back in with my family I realize how dependent I was on the addiction to handle the stresses and emotional triggers of living with a partner and kids. I feel the pull to the addiction coming back and that makes me worried because I can feel it strongly lately. I fear that I don't feel the consequences of turning back to my addiction strongly right now, so the lure of lust seems confusing. I pray that as I work the steps and surrender to friends and God as I understand Him I can regain the feeling of total willingness to surrender my addiction to my Higher Power.

Surrender and having my center on Jesus Christ. I must call someone and text someone every time I feel a Lust trigger. Even when I don't want to. especially when I don't want to. I must choose God first daily. I must work the steps daily. attend meetings weekly.

my old attitudes and beliefs. feeling that "I can handle it". self-deception. dependence on anyone or anything other than my Higher Power. casual worship. casual membership. isolation.

I'm not sure about "looking forward" to it. I understand that they'll be helpful and I realize that it's going to be an important part of my overall recovery, but I hate the idea of multiple paths at the same time. Seeing a Therapist with work assigned there. Seeing my pastor with work assigned there. It feels a bit overwhelming with everything else, but I know that it's an important part so I'm committed to doing it.

I'm hoping that I will have a heart change. I'd like to figure out how I can overcome my addiction to lust and work on myself so I can improve and be a better follower of Christ and a better person. If I can focus on myself as I work the steps, I'm prayerful that everything else will fall in to place.

I'm afraid that I'll lose everything (My wife, my kids, my home, my security). In the end will it all have been worth it if I end up in a place where I have nothing? I guess I'll have my integrity at the end, which is important.

I think that if I can commit to working on ME a little every day, over time it will compound and I can look back at who I once was and how far I've come. Small increments are a smart way to approach this.

I'm ready to have Jesus take over my life. I've been resisting and clinging on to worldly things for a long time, but it's time. Now is the time because I am completely broken in the trust in my relationship, I fear losing the trust of my kids, and the who I have actually been, is not the man that I want to be. it's time to align those things.

I have a lot of support on my journey now. When I've tried programs in the past or tried changing on my own, it never lasted because there wasn't the accountability and support system in place. Now, I have my family on board, my friends on board, a licensed therapist, accountability partners, my SAL sponsor, my church leadership, etc.

I'm willing to give up all of the sexual sins of my past. The constant objectification of women, the viewing of pornography, the disrespect of my wife, the opening of satanic doors into my home, and so on.

I am looking forward to working the steps because it will allow me to not only keep from acting out be help in all aspects of my life. I have found a lot of hope in the SAL meetings.

I hope that as I work the steps I will be able to feel the love of Heavenly Father daily and learn how to do His will and not mine.

At the same time I am afraid to give myself fulling to God and do only the things that are pleasing to Him. This fear is stemmed from not wanting to fail and not letting God down. The ironic thing is that I do not believe God can be let down. He loves me wherever I am at.

I have not been able to work the steps daily on my own accord. I hope that as I work the steps daily they will become a lifestyle versus a chore.

I for sure am ready to give away my addiction, I am working on my willingness to completely give my will over to the care of God. This one is not easy for me, I have worked through steps 1 and 2 with a sponsor but step 3 I know will take some time.

I have some sobriety behind me, 9 months, and this has given me a lot more perspective. I can see there are two versions of me that show up, the addict and then me at my best. We are at odds daily but the more I do what I know will put God at my center the better I feel and the more confident I am in the recovery and restoring to sanity.

I am willing to leave behind my ability to watch media "as a normal person" because I am truly allergic to lust in all it's forms. I do not have the ability to fight this beast on my own.

Yes I Have gotten to the point where my addiction is causing me more pain than pleasure and is affecting my relationships. Especially my ability to connect and relate with my wife.

I hope I can be humbled and change my attitude from selfish to centered on my higher power Jesus Christ. I want to be able to surrender to his will.

I am afraid it work work or I wont be able to fully commit or be fully honest. Im afraid of my pride or fear getting in the way of working the steps honestly

I want to make progress and feel like I have control over my life and my body and my emotions and my sex life. So, yes, I think I am looking forward to working the steps. I am kind of not looking forward to them as well as I don't really want to believe that I'm an addict and I want to have a normal life.

I hope that I can feel normal in my own life and in society.

I am afraid of relapsing and not being able to not want sex anymore. I am afraid of not being able to have sex with my wife.

I feel like it will work for me, simply because it will provide a way for me to focus on what is important to me daily.

I feel ready to turn my will over to my God. I feel like I am trying to do that already but I need a little more concentrated effort in that direction and more focus on God and how He can help me.

It has to be different! It is either this or divorce.

I need to figure out what normal is for me. I am ready for any sacrifice that will make me feel normal. Right now I feel bad for wanting sex with my own wife! Is that normal? Is it normal to want sex with my wife, to want sensual and erotic feelings with her? I want to leave pornography behind and masturbation. I always have. But I don't know if I can to it without sex with my wife.

I am, I am ready to make a change.

Gain clarity of my self and true understanding on who I am and fix my defects.

Staying the same.

A constant reminder of the path I want to walk.

I am, my former life is only holding me back and destroying my life.

Actually work on my self and not rush my process

Everything that doesn't help me reach my potential.

I am nervous that I will not follow through, or that I will be discouraged after or if I mess up and be tempted to walk away from the program.

I hope to find some space to begin healing and growing. Hopefully, I learn more about where I am and how I can navigate the future with this addiction.

I am afraid that after a relapse or two I will get discouraged and want to walk away from the program.

I feel like it could work because I have not intentionally tried a step program to help with my addiction. So intentionality may help me find the freedom that I need to overcome.

Yes, and because I am at a new stage of life, and God has more in store for me. I deserve to heal, to overcome, and to walk in freedom. As do the people around me, deserve a healthier version of me.

This time I am actually taking group therapy along with working with my own therapist to help me overcome and grow as I can and will. I think I am finally at the point where I know I have a problem and need help, real help.

I am willing to leave behind, friendships, social media, and my pride to walk into a new normal.

Yes, it gives me some structure this is my 3 rd time through 🙂

I want a better understanding of how to work the steps

Nothing I want to keep changing

It keeps me in the game and on the right track

Yes I’m willing. I need the protection from sin and lust

I will work it with my sponsor

Character defects and pride of my sobriety

Having gone through the online curriculum once before, I am looking forward to going through it again and reworking each step.

I want this process to become a way of life for me, a mindset. It has helped me in all aspects of my life and I am looking forward to gaining something new each and every time I work the steps.

I am afraid that I will become complacent and arrogant. That I will think I don’t need to do step work anymore. I don’t want that to happen. I have seen so many men relapse because they stop working the steps and working recovery each day. I want to learn from their mistakes and stay diligent.

Doing step work each day is a bottom line that I have established for myself. I need to do step work everyday (except Sunday) and I can’t miss more than one day a week. It has become part of my daily routine and I plan on keeping it that way.

Yes. I have seen the blessings in my life as I have surrendered over and over to God. I know he can do more with my life than I can on my own.

I will be more purposeful and complete in my step work as I go through the online curriculum.

I am willing to sacrifice anything to maintain healthy sobriety and to love in recovery. As I continue to maintain boundaries and bottom lines for myself, I know I can continue to love in recovery with God’s help and strength.

Yes and no. It's hard to get started but once I'm started I can go for a while. I do like the idea of being able to have the steps broken out for me into bite size chunks. I feel like I set my standard way to high and expect an unreasonable amount of time/effort per day for step work and so it seems undoable and daunting.

I hope to find greater peace in God and to be able to find his power in my life more. I feel like I need to work on my relationship with God by doing something as most of the time I don't really do anything.

I'm afraid I'll drop off and get lazy about my step work and I won't work it.

I feel like as long as I'm doing reasonable chunks, it will help as it will help me think about my recovery every day and improve the other parts of my life.

I feel like I need to work on this. I need to find the trust in God I'd like to have and know that if I jump he will catch me.

Daily work

I want to leave behind my old ways of doing enough to just get by. I don't want to get by anymore. I want to live and thrive.

Yes. Looking forward to get started and to learning more about the program and steps. I know that the program has helped a ton of people that have similar struggles and weaknesses to mine and I have confidence that it can help me too. I am also feeling nervous. One of my weaknesses is being able to share my thoughts and feelings, particularly in a group setting. I know that is a huge part of this program.

I hope to gain additional understanding, tools, knowledge, and training to help me overcome my addiction. Most of all, I hope for a change of heart and mind so that I know longer want anything to do with pornography.

Over the last week i have learned a tremendous amount about addiction.

I have worked the steps a few times but need to keep working them in my life. I am healthier and happier when I am working the steps.

I hope I get to a more balanced emotional place where I don't need to seek comfort and security from my addiction any longer.

I am afraid I won't be able to fully let go of my self-medicating tendencies and desires to use my addictions to escape reality and numb out of emotional pain.

I think it helps me see the world in a healthier way and let go of the security blanket addiction

I am now, but I will want to take it back later today and will have to keep working on my willingness

Recovery is an ongoing process and I will keep working on it every day.

All my addictive patterns

Yes. I know there is not lasting sobriety with meetings, therapy, a sponsor, and working the steps

The chains of addiction will be loosed

That I'll get complacent

Keep recovery fresh in my mind. Renew my commitment on a daily basis.

My life is truly unmanageable. I feel like a wrecking ball and my life is a condemned building.

I have a sponsor and I'm seeing a CSAT.

Guilt, shame, self hatred

I am looking forward to working the steps. I am ready to leave the old me in the past and walk the path of recovery.

I hope that I become more aware of my surroundings and that I can show to myself and the people closest to me the true me. I know I am a caring person but I have not been acting like that for many years.

I am afraid of hurting the people closest to me. I am afraid of relapsing. I am afraid of becoming complacent in the changes I have made and hurt my partner. I am afraid of not communicating honestly with my wife.

I feel it will work, I have faith it will work. Seeing my brothers in the meetings and working with my therapist I know the steps will work. Day to day will always be difficult; I am an addict; I am powerless.

I have ruined my marriage without really knowing if we can repair it. I have ruined my life with my addiction and my lying. I hurt my wife in a way that I NEVER wanted to. I sent her to a place where it is dangerous for her.

This is life or death for me. I can’t lose my wife, I love her and she is the most important person in my life and I lost sight of that for the last time.

Whatever I need. Smoking, drinking, lying, shame, everything I am willing to let go. Nothing is more important to me than recovery and saving my marriage.

Yes, I'm ready to move on from Porn being this weight in my life. I'm tired of the constant struggle with it and the effect it has on my otherwise perfect relationship. I've been through numerous periods of "sobriety" but never had a sustained long period other than 1 time after counseling. I want to end this and have the tools to stay sober. I may be not looking forward to the awkwardness of having to express my emotions in general, I'm somewhat of a shy guy and struggle with expressing my emotions. Seem to be tied to a dopamine response and I can shut down when things get tough or when I'm in that fight or flight mode.

I hope that by working the steps, one day at a time, I can stay focused on my recovery. I hope to find real connection that I haven't experienced before without porn in my life.

Things get real and get ugly. Digging up my history with porn from my childhood and having to re-live some of those experiences. Having hard conversations with my wife along the way.

I fell it gives me a path, it has potholes and ditches. I want to stay on the path, deal with the pot holes and avoid the ditches as best as I can. In good weather and bad. I've had some good experiences in the group and program that I'd like to dive into fully and give myself to the 12 steps and to god.

Yes. I haven't been a particularly spiritual person, but going through this program and going through the death of my father in law at the same time has opened my heart up to the spiritual realm in ways I haven't experienced before. I've felt like I always wanted to be good, but didn't have the mentorship or guidance from adults or god earlier in my life. But, it's never to late to find god and I feel like I'm on that path and would like to explore it more.

I'll get me a sponsor, work the steps daily, so I can truly experience a life in recovery. I won't let anything hold me back and it's the most important thing I need to do right now.

I'm willing to leave behind my porn, leave behind lust that leads to porn, leave behind the lies and deception, leave behind the worrying, fear and everything else that makes me feel like I'm a shitty person.

Yes, I'm looking forward to working the steps. I want to learn what is needed to have God at my center and to learn how to have God take away my addictive behaviors.

I hope to learn to be in long-term recovery and to do so one day at a time. I also hope that God will take away my addictive behaviors.

I'm afraid that I might stop working recovery or that I will have a hard time making the time and commitment to it and that I will go back to my addictive behaviors.

I have seen it work for others in the program. And I have felt that the materials and the process are inspired as I've begun to read and study the materials and work the process each day in my own life.

Yes. Because I now have more knowledge, as I've become familiar with SAL and the 12-step process, and I've made a commitment to my wife and family, and I've opened up to several people and don't want to let them down or myself down. I also feel empowered by my 12-step group, my therapist, and other friends and family members who want me to succeed and have offered help.

I am ready to show up to meetings, I'm ready to go to therapy, I'm ready to do the steps. I've wanted to stop for a long time and just didn't have the resources or desire to stop. I feel much happier when I'm sober and free of guilt and shame caused by my addiction.

Lusting after women, objectifying women, fantasizing about women, viewing pornography, masturbating, lusting after women, objectifying women, poor sleeping habits, poor eating habits, poor spending habits, anger, pride, control, shyness, being reserved, lying, denial in its many forms, shame.

I am and I'm not at the same time. I am looking forward to moving forward in my life and getting past my addiction, but I know it will be difficult, and a lot of work. And I'm lazy

I hope to come to a better understanding of myself and why I have these behaviors, and how to prevent them from continuing

I am afraid people will judge me, my wife will look at me differently, fall out of love with me etc.

If I make small, consistent progress, I should be able to handle a bit at a time without getting overwhelmed and hopefully stick with it long term.

I am ready to become the person that I have wanted to be for a long time. I am ready to take the actions to change.

Consistency and buy in. Trusting the process and follow through.

Shame. Loneliness. Character defects. Lying. Ego. Lusting. Not listening to my wife. Or buying her nice gifts.

Yes. I have already read the blue book and most of the white group. The education I have received has been very helpful. I am anxious to get going on the steps.

By working the steps, participating weekly in a group meeting, and with the help of a therapist, I want to get to the roots of my addiction so that I can go beyond sobriety and into recovery.

I know I will have ups and downs. My fear is that I will get discouraged and depressed about my downs and will fall back into old bad habits.

I have doing daily work on the steps for 3 weeks now. I believe it is essential to do some work each day to keep the principles in mind and to enable my momentum to build.

Yes. I have struggled with my addiction for 45 years. I wish I had done something long ago (working with a therapist, for example), so that the damage of my addiction on me and my family could have been prevented or, at least, minimized.

I now have the tools to work with. I am willing to do whatever it takes to recover and help my wife and children by making amends at the right time.

Pornography, addict behaviors, surfing the internet, spending time doing puzzles.

I am but I am unsure how to effectively work through them. But I am hopeful that these steps will help me in my recovery from my addiction to lust using pornography and masturbation as my main forms of acting out.

I hope to live a life of sobriety and change and become a better man who can overcome lust and act out using pornography and masturbation.

I am afraid that I will not get the help and support that I need.

I feel that I have tried many different things for recovery so I feel working these steps will help as they have helped many other men remain sober and deepened their path towards recovery.

I am and I have tried to pray and ask God to help me with my addiction and to take away my character defects that make me struggle. I have thought I could do this on my own and have finally humbled myself and will strive to rely on God.

I will attend SAL meetins, study SA material and study things that can help me in my recovery and marriage. Before I was causal in my effort but I feel a great momentum this time around and want to do everything I can to overcome my addiction.

Call men from SA to connect and be regirously honest even if it hurts or is very uncomfortable my new normal will be living a honest life.