Men’s Intro Questions

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Yes so I can treat my family and myself with the respect I should

I become more open and honest with my spouse

I will manipulate myself into thinking my behavior isn’t wrong which turns into me manipulating my spouse

I feel it will keep me honest to working the steps

Yes so I don’t repeat my behavior

It’s not only for my spouse it’s for me


I am looking forward to certain aspects. I realize more and more that my addiction controls certain aspects of my life that I want to take back over. I am not looking forward to it because admitting my faults is not easy at times. Admitting them and fixing them is even more difficult.

I am hoping that working the steps will help me to become a better father, husband, and man.

I am afraid that I will get lost in the steps and "backslide". I am hoping to stay consistent with the steps and not let other life events get in the way of my growth towards recovery.

As stated above, I worry that I will let some of the day to day happenings of my life get in the way of completing the steps.

I am not a practicing Christian. I believe in God and think that there is a Higher Power most of the time. Why now? I have hit a fork in the road in my life as a man, husband, and father. If i do not work on my recovery I will not live up to the values I have in those aspects.

Seeking help and being honest with myself and others.

Anything that works. It will be very difficult, because there are many practices that I involve myself in now that I know I will have to leave behind.

Yes. I want this to work and to help me

I become a better person. I become less tempted as I continue.

Waste of money and time

I don’t even know what this really is yet. I hope it works

Yes. Why not now.

There will be more effort.


I am looking forward to doing step work. I feel like I finally have a clear path on how I can effectively live in recovery. I've tried so many times to change my ways, but for the first time I have absolute hope in the program, myself, and my Savior.

I'm hoping to finally see my life and actions for what they really are. Working the steps and identifying my actions, character defects, and so many selfish behavior. Not only identifying them, but surrendering them to another. I hope to become humble, submissive, and build connection with myself and others. I hope to learn healthy coping skills to so I can live a healthy and happy life.

I'm afraid of discovering things about me that I never wanted to see. Things that I hoped nobody would ever know about me. I'm also afraid of taking my foot off the gas one day, not giving this everything i've got. I'm scared of getting complacent.

I am not. There are many things I do not wish to change about myself, though I have a desire to stop lusting I am fearful about what lies underneath

As painful as it will be, I’m hoping to get to the root of the problem. The why do I need this?

I’ll lose the desire to lust, which has been a major crutch in my life

I do not know that it needs to be worked everyday, but if not worked regularly I would surely slip back into relapse

I think I am ready, well ready to begin the journey. I have a lot more lust to let go off before I’m there but I’m willing to being the journey. I want to serve a mission and so starting true recovery will be a major blessing to my life and to my beautiful wife and future children

I will remember that the man I want to be is not the nan I have been previously. To do so I must submit myself fully to this program of recovery

I’m willing to let go of lust, and the roots of the problem

Yes - I’ve seen miracles from working them already and want to continue to experience miracles!
No- it’s tough and it hurts and it is scary.

Fear of myself and the addiction and recovery work will go away. I’ll gain skills and confidence and hope and whatever else needed to overcome addiction day to day.

I’ll face my fears. I’ll have to think about what I’ve done and tell other people. I’ll have to reach out to and talk openly with other people, seek help, and be very open and honest.

I feel like it needs to - it works when I work it, and I want it to work every day. It’s tough, but I need to prioritize it. That is my only option for recovery.

Yes, and I show that when I work the steps. When I choose not to work them, I choose to hold on to my addiction.

I’ll surrender, I’ll turn to God and to the group, and I’ll keep working day by day. I’ll not get lazy. I’ll monitor and check in frequently

Pride, desire to isolate, desire to hide, fear of communication and openness. Desire to manipulate and control others

I am using my own journal to answer these questions.

Yes. I have worked the steps through ARP Support and it was very good for me. I then "worked" the steps via reading the White Book, Step into Action and now the SAL book. I feel like am stagnent and seem to be failing a bit. I need to work the steps and keep ;earning to put Him first.

To find the hope and strength again that I need. Also to learn more and learn how to help my brothers in recovery.

I'm not affraid. I know working the steps gives great hope.

It does work for me. I believe the 12 steps are the word of God and teaches me how to change/repent. It must be on a daily basis to keep me safe.

Yes! I am so ready. I don't like that I have failed again after having over two years of being clean. I truly am powerless over my addiction.

I will just keep at it. After working it for a couple years then just kind of standing still for a while i just fail. I really need my relationship and trust in Him to grow and stay with it until I am safely back with Him.

I will leave behind anything it takes. I do not want that crud in my life any more.

No. I'm not. I am broken-hearted, and I've lost everything

I don't know. I have tried working the Steps, and I lost everything. I want to go back to not feeling and shutting myself off emotionally

If I work the Steps? I don't know. I'm pretty pissed off right now.

I feel like working the Steps doesn't help me deal with the pain of living my life. If anything, it amplifies it. There is no joy in life.

No. I have tried that, and my wife left, saying her goal was to come home, but within 90 days she contacted a layer for divorce. My parents left. My family is gone. I have no friends.

I don't know. Today is definitely not a good day to be doing this.

"New normal" of what? Pain? Uncontrollable sobbing that comes out of nowhere? Reminders everywhere of the things I have lost? Shame that is so deep it causes me to want to jump off a bridge, even though I am scared of heights? "New normal?" Fuck that.

No. I'm not. I am broken-hearted, and I've lost everything

I don't know. I have tried working the Steps, and I lost everything. I want to go back to not feeling and shutting myself off emotionally

If I work the Steps? I don't know. I'm pretty pissed off right now.

I feel like working the Steps doesn't help me deal with the pain of living my life. If anything, it amplifies it. There is no joy in life.

No. I have tried that, and my wife left, saying he goal was to come home, but within 90 days she contacted a layer for divorce. My parents left. My family is gone. I have no friends.

I don't know. Today is definitely not a good day to be doing this.

"New normal" of what? Pain? Uncontrollable sobbing that comes out of nowhere? Reminders everywhere of the things I have lost? Shame that is so deep it causes me to want to jump off a bridge, even though I am scared of heights? "New normal?" Fuck that.

I am looking forward to doing consistent daily work. I have signed up because I have not always been diligent in working the steps. This will brake it down into daily chunks so that I keep focused.

I will continue to move forward to make my resistance to temptations increase and I can become whole with the Saviors grace.

I may get behind. I commit not to get behind.

I've tried it by myself and my wife is not satisfied. This is a great approach!

Yes I am. This is a much easier life path to follow. It takes too much work and shame to keep up the façade. I have been getting counseling and working on sobriety for 1.5 years and thought I could do this without the work. My wife demands it and I owe her nothing less. I want to be sober.

I am really serious and trying. I feel better daily. I'm not going back.

I am leaving behind pride, selfishness, drama, fear, and shame. As things get more normal I will get more peace.

Yes! I am tired of hurting the people I love because of my addiction

I hope I can rid myself of this addiction. I want to be the husband and father my family deserves.

I'm afraid if I don't get control of this I will truly lose everything I love.

I feel it will work because it will give me daily accountability. If I'm held accountable I feel I do better avoiding the things I should.

Yes. I don't want to hurt anyone or myself anymore. Seeing how devastated my wife is now is torture. She deserves better and so do I.

My heart. I feel my heart is changing and the desire to overcome this is real this time. I'm doing it because I WANT to change and not just because I NEED to change.

I am willing to leave behind the privacy of my phone. I'm willing to open it up completely to my wife so I can be held accountable for what I do on my phone. That has been the source of everything I've done and I'm willing to open it up completely.

Yes I am! I am excited to begin the journey to recovery although I am a bot nervous

I understand what I need to do and get support and gie support as I go through this journey

Im afraid I will give up or someone will know me--typical I guess

I think it will as i9t will help me remain focused on the end goal

Yes. I have made good progress but this is what I need to make it to the top of the mountain

I am committed to change more than ever

Porn improper actions, lying etc.

Yes I am looking forward to working the steps in the hopes of it helping strengthen the relationship with me and my girlfriend as well as building trust and showing my commitment to healing

I hope It helps heal an addiction that has caused a lot of damage in myself as well as my girlfriend. I hope it gives me a new perspective and shines a positive light in my life.

I'm afraid I might get tired of working the steps and get complacent / not apply myself like I need to.

I think it will provide a sense of accountability as well as show commitment on my part for my partner and she can see that I am keeping my word I gave to her.

Yes I am ready to surrender my addiciton and heal from this. I have caused a lot of damage I thought I could fix bymself but situations I have put myseld and my partner in have proved otherwise. I am finally seeking external help after many years.

I have my girlfiends full support and I am ready to commit to a different lifestyle in order to better my day to day life and relationship with my girlfriend.

Pride / Lust / Ego and let my guard down becoming fully vulnerable

Yes, because I am in a stage of life where I don't generally feel well. I am coping with stress and life challenges very poorly. I am depressed and anxious and feel spiritually disconnected. My relationship with my wife is really struggling and I am getting more angry and filled with rage.

I hope that I can find peace and serenity. I hope that I can feel more positive and optimistic and comfortable in my own skin. I hope that I can overcome lust and gain a sense of healthy sexuality.

I am concerned about my ability to stay committed. I am very good at starting things. I excel at the brainstorming and planning stages and tend to fail at the day to day requirements of completing things.

I hope that as I work the program daily I will begin to break through the superficial attempts of overcoming my addiction to lust. I know that I need to go deeper with my recovery work in order to make a meaningful change.

I really hope so. I wish I could give a resounding YES! but I am nervous and possibly still in denial about the work that true recovery really takes. I must make changes now because my marriage is about to fail and I am very unhappy. My rage has reached almost dangerous levels and my business has been seriously struggling for several months.

I am definitely more ready to turn my will over to God. I am doing things I haven't done before. I have connected with a sponsor, I am working with a good therapist and I am attending meetings regularly.

I am ready to leave my old mindset and approach spirituality behind. I am ready to set my ego aside and seek to be more humble, teachable and submissive to God, my sponsor, my wife, my therapist and the program.

I am really looking forward to working these steps because I have seen through others how powerful they can be, and i know it works when i work it. As I've taken a more hands on approach and dug deeper with the steps I have seen how they really work.

I hope it will build the muscles of recovery, I hope it will make me live in true recovery, i hope it will make me a better man, husband, father. I hope it will help rewire my brain and give me the tools to get to a healthy place. I hope it helps me find peace.

I'm afraid that I will get discouraged and stop, or that if I miss a day I will miss the next day and it won't become a habit.

Just like working out i know that its better to be consistent then do hours and hours of work on one day and then nothing for a week. Working the steps daily brings me daily serenity, i think it will be really important to my recovery.

Yes I am willing to let it go, because my life has become unmanageable and the pain of addiction is now greater then the pain of recovery no matter the cost.

This time I have a support system, this time I have everything to gain and nothing to lose because my life is miserable with the addiction, this time from the bottom of my soul I want this, this time I recognize the power of steps, surrender and my higher power.

All of my past acting out behaviors porn, masturbation, sexting, flirting, street lust, like Jason Borne I am truly ready to give myself to this program.

I have chosen to hit rock bottom and am ready to make any changes I need to change my life...yes I am ready to work the Steps.

I want to overcome the residual resentment, anger, self-righteousness, perfectionism, and self-centeredness that continue to hold me back from full recovery.

I get so caught up in doing "stuff" that I forget about making connections, being present, slowing down when necessary, etc.

It will work because it has for so many other people and I am no better or worse than they are.

Absolutely. I have had enough time experiencing life on my own terms and they sucked. I am ready to try something different.

I will reach beyond myself and accept that I can't do it on my own. I will face my shame instead of running from it.

Anything that holds me back from full recovery I will leave behind...not just the acting out, but the rest of what comes with the addiction as well.

I am looking forward to it because I want to learn these tools and I want to change in my heart. I want to be new. I am not looking forward to it because of the time I will need to put into it.

I hope that my mind and heart changes, that I have more peace, and I heal and recover from addiction.

I am afraid it won’t work.

The hard thing about doing it daily will be the time it takes. I am wanting to do different things to take care of myself.

I think I need to ponder this question more. Of course my first response is yes. I struggle with my higher power and trusting. I recognize I need to do this though.

I am doing the online program. I want to do this differently.

Whatever it takes. I don’t know how to make a list, but as things come up, I will work though that with God.

Yes I am because I want to live in recovery from my addiction. I have lived in the depths of my addiction for over 10 years and I am working toward living in recovery.

I Hope I come to learn how to react to my emotions in a positive way with out returning to my old addiction. I also want to make up for any harm I have caused my loved ones.

I am afraid that what I have seen will keep bothering me and draw me back to my addiction, and not let me recover.

It will be daily reminder that I need to be vigilant and keep a reminder at the front of my mind that I always need to be cautious with what I watch, look up and put around me.

Yes. I have lived for 14 years with this addiction in my life, and I want to get to the point where i can trust myself to make the correct decision when I feel the temptation. I'm tired of living as a slave to my emotions.

This time it will be different because I have the support of the other guys in the group and the support of my wife also.

I am willing to open myself up to feeling my emotions and working through them. I am willing to leave behind the pleasure that I felt when acting out and to practice self-control over my body.

Yes I am, I believe my addiction has held me down, and greatly affected my relationships especially with my girlfriend and I never want to break that trust again.

I hope I start to see my self in a better life and use this addiction as a stepping stone to better my life.

I am afraid I may not be truthful, and avoid the difficult conversations.

I believe it will give me something to do like a reminder of what Im trying to do and that better my life, and my significant other.

I believe I am ready and I believe now is the case because I’ve neglected that part of my life when it’s very important for my betterment.

I believe that I have something to commit my efforts to, and a guide or the steps to follow instead of aimlessly finding my way.

Definitely willing to leave behind feelings of shame and the feelings that I have a crushing sensation that no one will ever like, love, or trust me again.

I am looking forward to doing the 12th steps. Because I have seen other men with similar problems. Who have long-term recovery And I want that for myself.

I hope to be able to learn how to have long-term recovery for myself. By living 1 day the time.

I am afraid that I will get complacent and that. I will justify a compromise here or a compromise there. Until I give up working on the steps altogether.

I feel like working. The steps daily will work for me. Because if I am honest with myself daily. Then I can learn the things that I need to do. To have long-term success.

I do feel that I am ready to surrender and turn my will over to God. I do feel that to completely turn. Your will over to God would require perfection.

I have confessed and now I am doing it with God as my partner instead of my own way. And that is what is different for me.

I am willing to identify whatever triggers my addiction and give it up. I am willing to make bottom lines as I identify the need. I am willing to work on myself daily.

Yes and no. I don't like doing this kind of work. I am hoping that this curriculum makes the steps clear and understandable for me.

I get a clear understanding of myself and learn how to be rigorously honest and practice that on a daily basis.

Im afraid the steps will be obscure and confusing. If I don't have good direction and understanding I will stop.

Ten minutes a day sounds good to me because I get overwhelmed when I think about doing a project.

Absolutely! I want to be free of addiction. I want to have serenity and peace in my life.

I believe I can quit now and I didn't believe that in the past. I have a lot of men that support me now.

My addiction and my character defects!

Yes, I want to be a better person.

I hope to understand my addiction and help me make better choices to change my life.

I am afraid a lot of trauma from my past will be stirred up.

I feel it will work if I surrender it to God.

Yes, life is to short and I want to make the most of my time.

I am surrendering it to God.

Everything and anything that hinders my goal from living sober.

Yes, because I recognize that my complacency in not working the steps has kept me mired in an addictive cycle. I also recognize that I have many character defects (anger and pride being chief among them) and I want God to remove those defects. I want to live in joy and peace. I believe that God will not remove those defects without me making the necessary efforts to improve, and I believe that stepwork is a critical part of that effort.

That the obsession to lust diminishes. That my desire to turn to anger and resentment also diminishes. That I have stronger and more intimate connection with my wife, children, and others. That I have increased joy and peace in my life.

I will become complacent again. I will be asked to do hard things that I will feel embarrassed to do. I will have to do things that I feel incapable of doing. I will not progress or get as much out of my stepwork because I will feel that I have to do it perfectly. I will worry more about what others think of me, my work, and my answers, than worrying about the work making it possible for God to change me.

I feel that daily stepwork will work for me because it has worked in the past, and I have faith in other's experiences that stepwork worked for them. The longevity of the program (that AA started in the 30's and is still going, and growing) also gives me faith that it will work. I also have faith that as I make any sincere effort to move forward, God will bless and direct my efforts.

I hope that I am. I have failed to do so many times. I have returned to my addiction many times because it felt like the answer. It felt to me like it would give me peace. It never has---never, never, never, never, never. It always brings me sorrow and regret, destroys my peace, and hurts those closest to me. It makes me hurt those closest to me. It seems completely logical for me to be willing to trust and completely surrender to an all-knowing, all-loving God. I hope that I can completely and fully do so.

I will be consistent. I will work with my sponsor regularly. I bring with me my experience, both positive and negative.

Sin, anger, pride, comparison, a false belief that I am entitled to lust, selfishness, misery, pain, complacency, lack of unity with my wife, disharmony in my family and home, sorrow, easy but futile escapes, lack of progression, laziness, procrastination, anxiety