Men’s Intro Questions

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Yes I'm looking forward to starting a more structured and regular study of the 12 steps. I have heard and believe it is one of the pillars of recovery. I have seen in change my brother and sisters lives in AA and also in SAL meetings.

I hope to gain a better understanding of my addiction and recovery and to provide structure in my recovery. I hope daily study will help me start my day with more power and help carry me through the day. I want to learn the Steps so I can later share with others.

I'm afraid to fail and act out. I don't want to go back to day 1 of sobriety. I'm afraid of losing hope and going back to that life of addiction.

I think the structure the daily work will be helpful for me as it will provide lift each day. It will keep me safer between meetings.

Yes, I have been working on recovery in other ways. I've already achieved some level of sobriety but I know it's not enough. Last year I decided I could no longer live the lies and betrayal. I wanted out for good. I had tried and failed so many times. I was willing to give it my all this time and listen to others who had succeeded.

I'm willing to try everything. 12 Steps, meetings, counseling, I've done disclosure with my wife and with Church leaders. I feel if not now I will die in my addiction.

I'm willing to leave my flirting with my addiction. Either through apps or TV. Staying away from the edge. I'm willing to use the time I was spending on the edge in helpful and meaningful ways. So instead of looking at TicTok I'm listening to a podcast. Replacing the edge with positive influences.

Yes. To gain understand of my mind

Clearer thinking recovery vs sobriety

Nothing

Keep me focused

Yes I want to level up

I’ve learned how to be sober

Old habits

I feel like I am looking forward to working the steps because I am hoping that it will help in my process of overcoming my addiction.

I hope that as I work the steps I will maintain my sobriety and find ways to help me realize that I do not need to have this addiction in my life, it does only harm to myself and others.

I am afraid of myself, that I'll let my addiction get the better of me, even if that isn't the case right now, I want to make sure I never go backwards in my recovery.

I feel this will work for me because I will constantly be making the effort to better myself every day. Even if I'm not at a meeting, or at therapy, this will keep my mind focused on my goal to heal.

I feel like I am ready to let go of my addiction, it has gone on long enough and it is only hurting those around me, including myself. I do not believe in any higher power whatsoever, but I do believe that I have to believe in myself, a better version of myself that isn't shackled down by my addiction. I chose now to start my recovery because I can't let it go on any longer, I've caused too much damage and I do not want to cause any more.

The difference in my efforts this time is me actually putting in the work and staying dedicated to my goals.

I am leaving behind a person who was selfish, inconsiderate, and overall, a horrible person to those around. That person is myself with my addiction, and I am ready to let go of that and become a better man.

Yes, I'm really looking forward to working the steps again. It might be uncomfortable to revisit some of the steps I've done before and really fill them out more, but I'm looking forward to it.

I hope I further develop my relationships with everyone around me, and myself. I want to stay grounded and connected with myself throughout the day, and be able to course correct when I feel myself disconnecting.

I'm afraid that the success in recovery that I've previously seen was a fluke. I'm afraid it won't work for me this time, that I won't know how to surrender fully. I'm afraid that I'm broken and different.

I feel like working the steps daily will work for me. I'm confident that miracles will happen, because I've seen them before. The more you put in the more you get, so I know if I have these actions I'll be able to thrive in recovery.

Yes, I'm ready. I've attempted to stop so many times. I know I'm powerless when I rely on myself. I need help from my Higher Power every day. I'm ready because I want to leave the pain of recovery behind me.

I have a sponsor that I'm working with. I'm checking in with him twice a week. I'm working this curriculum. I have the motivation to make calls and work my recovery every day.

I'm willing to leave behind the perceived freedom that I once had. I'm willing to go to bed earlier, wake up earlier, give up certain hobbies and relaxations. I'm willing to do anything.

At the moment, I am struggling with letting my wife know that I think that I have a sexual/lust addiction. However, as I have been reading the material in the white book, I as I have read quite a few pages in Sitting in a Rowboat Throwing Marles at a Battleship, I strongly sense that I have a great deal of lust. I am hoping that I will learn to love more and lust less.

As I mentioned above, I hope to my lusts are subdiued that I feel full of love and affection in its place. I hope the steps take away my blindness and give me vision. I am expecting that as I see better I may experience some pain by what I see, but I hope that the steps help me to truly love myself better in spite of revealing my flaws I hope that the steps give me hope while I work through these flaws.

I am afraid that my wife may be so disappointed in me as her husband that our relationship may sour. We have been married 51 years as of June 4th of this year and, for me, I have loved living with her. She lights up my life, but I must admit that there have been some struggles because of my unfulfilled lusts within our marriage. I have frequently desired more than she is willing to give.
When I read from the white book that I may have to back off of sex within my marrieage for a time to prove that sex is "optional" it causes me a lot of fear. My wife and I have had to negotiate our current relationaship that, at least, gives me a marginal expectation for some sex and not none.

I really don't know if working them on a daily basis will, or will not, work for me. However, I understand that working them on a "daily" basis would probably be a good idea since a day is a natural incremental basis. Currently, I read scriptures and say multiple prayers on a daily basis. I don't want to be a Zoramite and worship once weekly and never address my spiritual needs during the week. I believe that much of working the steps will be an opportunity to cleanse my spirit.

As I noted under the title "What am I afraid might happen" I am afraid to let go of my gains, that is my negotiated sexual privileges. It took me a long time to get to a point where I had any right to expect any regular sexual opportunities within my marriage. I lived in desperation for sex. But, as I read the white book, there seems to be an allusion to better days ahead if I do let go of my addiction and turn my will over competely to the care of a Higher Power. I have no reason to believe that will happen yet, but I am willing to make the attempt. In reality, I don't think the status quo is working all that well and I need a life that is not ruled over by my lusts and passions as it has been.
Why now? Because I just got entangled in a horrible situation that caused me to have to go to my Bishop with the shameful admission that I had sinned. I felt horrible and a great deal of shame. I am tired of feeling shame.

I don't understand the question. But if "this time" means that I am back again to where I was some years back and having to see my bishop to confess again, I am thoroughly tired of misbehaving and having to pay the price of shame and fear and a loss of the Spirit. I want to be a clean vessel before the Lord. I want to be a clean vessel in my own eyes. I want to full of light, love and truth and not fearful, dark and experiences of self distain.

I am not sure how to answer this question. I suspect that I will learn alot about myself by working the steps and some of those things that I learn will be behaviors that I will need to leave behind. But for now, I want to leave behind the lust in order to practice the "new normal," but I don't know what that looks like yet.

Yes. I’ve been in the program for a while but have bogged down on step 4 and need to push ahead.

Find peace improve relationship with god.

My loved ones won’t want me around.

I do have a hard time doing things consistently, but a little every day should keep me on track.

I hope so. I feel its tug from time to time and want to feel unwilling to give in.

Daily work.

Whatever it takes.

I look forward to having some growth, but don't look forward to the pain that will come. I also have a hard time with steps 2-3 cause they FEEL like they should be easy but I don't have a good handle on them.

I trust God more. I recognize more character flaws to surrender. I feel more peace.

...That I might give up -- just feeling exhausted with trying.

I know it has in the past. Even if some days were meh, trying to put energy into it each day was really helpful for me.

I want to. I fear my own desires....
Why now....my apathy has increased, my faith has decreased...if I don't do something now I'm gonna regret it.

Daily accountability (to myself)

acting out?

I am looking forward to it as i feel having steps and completing them will make me feel progressing, going somewhere even if i understand it is not an end by itself.
A guide will hopefully also help me be efficient in my work.
The why not would be being scared of commitment needed, but « no pain, no gain »

I hope i will be able to stay in recovery … would like to say get ride completely of my addiction but not sure realistic from what I heard …

Afraid i don’t deliver as feels too much work or don’t like method … but then can just work directly with a sponsor

I tend not be disciplined so will be a challenge but feel for this topic where a slip can kill many months / years of efforts, day to day study will help.

Yes i am … i need to : for me, my spouse, my family

I will have a method and a guideline to follow

Everything so could make me fail … in particular years of acceptance of my behavior …

I am looking forward to it.
I want to have the full experience what it means to do the work and experience recovery intentionally

I hope that my paradigm shift and then I will start to see the world more the way it is unless the way I perceive it

I think it’s weird I have is about being constant struggle to work out daily habits

I truly believe that the things we do every day I does it change your life the most

After two years of often on meetings and often on sobriety I feel more desires that ever to make a meaningful change in recovery

The biggest difference in my effort is that I have a sponsor and that I am committing myself the daily accountability

1.- countless hours watching YouTube
2.- Shame in its many forms and from many different sources
3.- isolation as a coping mechanism
4.- a lot of pride that has kept me from being honest with myself and others
5.-Impulsive behavior
6.- other sins and character defects

Yes. I've done them before and they've changed my life. I need a refresher and would like to really focus on the 12 steps around connecting with God this time around.

I grow closer to God and continue to grow as a person.

I'm afraid I won't be serious about it.

It will. It's worked in the past. I just have to commit.

Yes. I already have a do it everyday. I have to stay sober. I struggle to give my life completely. I'd like to do better. I'm choosing now because I don't want to backslide in my recovery.

I bought this program and I'm ramping back up to my normal recovery schedule or even doing more.

I'm willing to cut back on worldly things. Especially media.

Not really because it feels like a merry go round I've been on for a long time and I know the steps and have done the work several times. But I must humble myself to do it again.

I get more willpower and distance from this disease

I'll be apathetic and do it without changing.

It is a repeatable pattern

I struggle here because I don't have a healthy alternative and I do not have intimacy with my wife. I've not yet found a long-term alternative.

Not sure. I'm here I suppose. That is different. I've done 12 steps and Life Star and personal therapy and religious therapy. I also have challenging relationships.

whatever it takes.

Yes, because I believe it will give my the confidence that I am acting in faith.

I hope I will experience a change of heart and become eager to work recovery and live in recovery

That using the computer for SAL 12 Step might become a trigger to return to old habits

I believe it will work for me, because until now I don't really know if I have every really been 'working' the steps, yet this is what my church leader counsels me to do. I will be doing something productive, whereas before I have been unsure of what I was doing and it was ineffective.

I can only hope so. I feel ready many times, but then I fail out of complacency and false starts. I don't keep working or get discouraged from relapse.

I feel like I will be doing something concrete, formal, and accepted by others in recovery. I feel like for the first time I will actually be 'working' the steps

Doubt, fear, complacency, and lack of accountability are things I am willing to leave behind.

yes i am i want the temtations out of my head completely. i want to be there for my wife and family

to be a better husband and father

failure

not sure yet just getting started but want the best life on earth i can get

yes. its been going on way to long. i know the lord is with me every day and he is the one that can fix me

i want to be a great husband to my wife and a great father. i want to be a better example of gods work

my messed up mind. every day is a new day and dont want bad thought

I am looking forward to living in recovery, and seeing my wife do the same.
I am anxious about anything I haven't done before, so that applies to the steps I have not done as well.

I hope that I will develop skills and habits in place to deal with pain and stress in healthy ways, prevent relapse, and regain my wife's trust as I do so.

* fear of rejection by wife for something I do unintentionally
* fear that my marriage won’t be fully repaired
* fear that reputation will be harmed if details get out
* fear that I’m not doing enough

It's been over 4 1/2 months so far of working the steps and I've gotten some confidence that it helps me.

Yes, because now the pain is so great, far more than any other time before, that it is causing me trauma.

I will do the steps and participate in meetings, and use a therapist. I was not willing to do any of those until February of this year.

My acting out behaviors as I learn new ways to medicate pain and stress.
My defects as I continue to learn to apply the steps and surrender them to God.

Yes. I have been going to SAL meeting for sometime now. A few years or so and I had a sponsor momentarily and worked through some of the steps but that fizzled out and I never got a new sponsor. I have pretty good sobriety but I have felt that it might not be long lasting until I work ALL the steps WITH a sponsor.

Maintain sobriety, grow and change as a person

I think I have already seen much benefit from being in the program and using the steps so I think getting more involved isn't going to hurt one bit. If I'm afraid of anything at all it might be a bit of perfectionism or somehow not doing the steps right.

I have been going to SAL meeting for a few years now and have attended other types of therapy for my addiction and I have gained some tools and have applied principles in these tools that help so I have seen real benefit already. But I ultimately believe it is God that keeps me sober and in recovery and that the steps provide the path to keep God there each day.

Yes, and I believe that it is "now" because I really desire it. I really, really never want to go back to that dual life again. Where the addiction demanded my attention and devotion. My addiction wrecked my life and tore down my character. My addiction was the chief reason my first marriage failed and the fed my unhealthy attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.

Sponsorship is the biggest reason for me to work the steps using this curriculum. I intend to keep up other good daily habits such as scriptures and meditation, making and receiving calls, attending meetings, and working the steps with my sponsor which I am so thankful to have now

I am willing to give up anything God asks me to give up. I am willing to do things that I don't want to do because I am afraid or because my pride wants to say I can do it alone. I have set many boundaries around my addiction and I will set more when and where needed. The "new normal" is what I know I need to adopt to have God constantly in my life because as long as I have had the reins I have done a poor job.

Yes I am looking forward to working the steps I need to work the steps every day in order to keep myself surrendered to my savior

But I will keep close to my savior and find the piece that I seek

I’m not afraid of anything happening in fact I hope something does that will help me stay focused

It will work for me because I’ve went through your course before and it truly helped

I found out that I cannot turn my will over to God just once I have to do it every day so I am ready

I won’t stop halfway in between and then start up again I’m going to work at straight through

Number one priority for me is leaving shame and fear behind

Yes. I am looking for a more guided approach. Decided to sign up for this course to help me actually put in the work daily.

I am hopeful that it will create momentum to a new lifestyle. A lifestyle of my heart being alive and helping others to feel alive.

I am afraid I may see similar results to all the other times I worked the steps and just continue in an addictive mindset with despair and relapse.

The last time I followed a program like this, I was able to achieve the most sobriety I’ve ever achieved- 5 months. That success is replicatable by doing the same thing, I believe.

Yes, this is the only way to sanity for me. I don’t want to be stuck anymore. I want continual happiness in my life.

This time I plan on making a more concerted effort on writing through this program to really undress my emotions and be able to better understand myself and therefore help myself address the underlying issues of my addiction.

I am willing to leave behind my “got it figured out” mentality. The only thing I have figured out is that I have very little figured out.

Yes: I want to be stronger. I want to go through a program I can feel accomplished in.
No: Growing pains. overcoming my yuckiness.

I hope I become a 'warrior'. Someone who is completely open with my wife.

I slip/relapse.

Allows me to focus and center my day on recovery.

'help thou my unbelief'. I want to. I need the courage to do so.

Striving to be more open with wife and myself.

i do not know 🙁

I am very much looking forward to the Steps. I've worked the Steps before with a sponsor. So I'm excited for this curriculum to teach me even more and to further grow in recovery.

I hope that I'll continue to develop my relationship with my Higher Power, growing my conscious contact with God. I also hope that I'll grow in humility so that I'll always, daily, work the Steps and reach out for help in this addiction.

I'm afraid that I won't do the work required to grow and change. I'm afraid that I'll waste money paying for this program.

I think I might not take the work seriously and that I will miss a few days. But overall I think I will be able to do work every day.

Yes, I am completely ready. I've worked the Steps and seen their effectiveness in my life. I know that I need to buck this now, and that I need to thrive in recovery daily.

This time I'll work daily and make daily contact with recovery brethren, working with a sponsor to grow in recovery.

I am willing to leave behind my 'comfortableness' and complacency to grow. I am willing to sacrifice sleep each morning to do stepwork.

not really. however I know I can't get on the path of recovery on my own. so in that way I am looking forward to working steps because they will lead me on right path to full recovery. i'm fearful of confronting my inner demons.

inner healing and a healthier and strong relationship with myself and in time healing of my relationships.

I make some progress and stop thinking I'm finished. and stop doing the steps and things necessary to start on the path of recovery.
a relapse
relationships falling apart
I don't have the courage or strength to confront my inner demons

I need routine and habits. for the steps to work for me I need to do them daily. to make that happen i need to block off time in my schedule to work the steps and attend meetings etc

absolutely! I have been struggling with my addiction my entire life. and struggling alone. since sharing it with some people and my spouse recently I no longer have to go alone. i've accepted I can't go or do it alone. or depend of someone else to do the work for me. only with God's help can i do this.

I'm not going alone. I willing to ask for and seek out help and support from loved ones, friends, therapist, and a support community

old habits and beliefs. the old me. the way I have done things for my entire life. my anger, resentment, my fear of rejection. my pride

Yes and no. Yes in the sense that I still have lots of hope that working the steps in a real and thorough way will allow god to bless me with a spiritual experience and real recovery. No in the sense that I’m doubtful about this particular method of working the steps

I hope that I am able to connect with God and that he is able to give me the spiritual awakening he wants to bless me with

It won’t work, either because I don’t do my part sufficiently or because this particular approach doesn’t include all of the crucial things

I do think that a Daily approach to working the steps is the right way to go for me—I’m easily overwhelmed by the idea a large amount of work, but I know from experience that I can handle a little bit of work one day at a time

Yes. I’m completely exasperated by my recent returns to using pornography and even masturbating. I feel like I’m ready to face my fears of what my new life will be like without any pornography or even action towards lust in it.

I have a solid base this time of doing my dailies each day, so I’m very hopeful that adding a systematic bite sized approach to working the steps to that structure will allow me to find success in doing my part.

I am ready to leave behind the safety and security of what I already know, and all of my protections from potentially being given too much hard work to do without enough breaks, and just embrace whatever god has for me.

I am looking forward to working the steps to remain firmly in recovery, and to have an in-person support group.

That I will get closer to God and have His support.

That I won't feel comfortable with the group.

I think it'll work by keeping my problem front and center so it can be ministered to.

I know I can't manage it on my own. I've seen enough horror stories on trying to go it alone, so the sooner I get started the better.

Long term consistency.

Shame, deceit, cold heartedness.

Yes, as I feel it will greatly help recovery

I will give up my addiction

I might not like living without my addiction.

I think working the steps daily, allows me to be focused on my addiction.

I am. I'm tired of the addiction and the havoc it has reigned on my life.

This is my first time trying so I envision success!!!

The lying. That was one of the worst things I had in my life.

I am. I have worked them many times and when I work the steps freedom and peace are the rewards.

I become the person I see in others who have worked the steps and are working them.

I am afraid of two things. First, I'll work the steps see progress and convince myself that I don't need to work them as often or at all. Second, I'll work the steps and get prideful and stop working the steps. They are very similar but both have played out in my addiction brain.

I feel like working the steps will work for a time. But then I will come to believe I don't need to at a certain point.

Tonight I believe I can answer this question with a strong YES! However, this desire in me fades and like the children of Moses who tried to gather manna for several days, I will try and cram in my recovery work. I need daily strength from God. I can do it with his help!

I don't know! the only thing I could think of was to be accountable to my accountability partner everyday. I want it to be different this time so I'm going to check in with someone who will know weather I'm doing this or not.

Time. I am willing to give up time to watch TV, read a book, do things for myself, etc.

I want to build the tools and habits that will lead to long-term recovery. I am sick and tired of being on the addiction treadmill. I believe that this work will be an important element of my recovery process.

That I begin to discover my true self underneath the veneer that I have built over the course of my life. I get to see the glimpses of myself but I don't show that to others. I am hopeful that this process will bring me to the forefront in life.

I am afraid of being discovered by my children and that they will not be able to forgive me for all of my shortcomings. I know that love me but I also know they have an image of me that isn't accurate in that I am the dad who does almost everything well. This will be a shock to each of them.

I want to make this a "daily practice" so that I continue to focus on the things that matter most in life. I have developed habits that have put me off course for large chunks of time. Now I want to focus on doing things that are both productive and helpful to my development as a human being.

I am in a different place than I have ever been before. I am, for the first time, completely committed to putting my addiction behind me. I have come to realize that I cannot do this without God's assistance. I have already experienced some beautiful advances in my recovery when I have surrendered to God and submitted to His will instead of trying to force my will. This have been a difficult theme throughout my life but now I get to do it for all of the right reasons. It is like returning home to my God or Heavenly Father. Or as Nephi says in the BofM, My Christ!

I am approaching my recover on my terms. I have submitting to the process and I am committed to involving God as a partner in this process. Those are significant differences than where I have been in the past.

I am leaving behind my selfish behaviors wherein I justified my actions. I am willing to be fully authentic in showing up in this process. I WANT to do this!